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Below is a list of personality traits and an explanation of why it is
important to accept
all the possible traits of a human being.
One exercise that I have found extremely personally empowering is
accepting and embracing yourself and your interpretation
of yourself in every moment.
Denial of what you are actually experiencing creates suffering and
contributes to low self-esteem.
Further below I will tell you how I discovered what I was denying and a
simple and quick exercise to reach acceptance.
With each acceptance, old nagging worries and bits of suffering drops
away and you are left me more peaceful and with higher self-esteem.
That isn't saying there isn't any pain, hurt or discomfort to be
experienced in your life. These things are inevitable and a fact of
life but suffering is something different to pain. The
distinction we are making is the extra suffering that you
experience when your mind tells you 'this shouldn't be happening' or 'I
shouldn't be like this'.
In 2006 Debbie Ford's book The
Dark Side of the Light Chasers caught my eye
on the library shelf. I read it and didn't do much with it.
Twelve
months later I got it out again and this time it meant so much
more.
Of course reading is one thing and won't bring change you have to
change something about your experience in order to get change.
There has to a shift in attitude or the way you think about things.
Reading just adds more mind stuff to your long list of things you
know. When it comes to personal growth and overcoming low
self-esteem there has to be a shift from within.
It's into this inner-world you must delve and shine a spotlight.
Shining this light of awareness into the places that haven't been seen
for a long time.
Shadow-Work
All human beings have displayed every trait, or they do display them
regularly or could display them given they found themselves in a
certain predicament. Blame it on the human condition.
If you can stop judging anything you do or are as bad and move to
acceptance, you are moving in an empowering direction.
To transform you need to have a shift in attitude from disliking
some things in yourself and liking others, to accepting ALL things.
Murderer
So an extreme one to start with is to accept that you are a
murderer. For starters see how quick and strong the denial from
your own mind is.
Secondly, consider a situation where you are put in a position where it
is either you kill them or they kill you, or they kill your child. Can
you accept that you are a murderer now after considering that?
Of course it doesn't make you a murderer in the outside world but still
you have to accept that you have that potential trait within your
experience and add that to your list of personality traits.
After coming to this realization I somewhat obsessively spent one month
trawling through books writing down a list of personality traits.
I wrote down every
adjective describing a human being and I worked to own, accept and
embrace
that each one has been or could be in my experience.
As you will come to realize the best teacher is your experience.
Continue to watch your thoughts and feelings from a place of
non-judgmental awareness.
Whenever you have a contracted, closed, irritated or frustrated feeling
with another or yourself, contemplate what the trait is. What is the
word you would use to describe that person you are
reacting to?
Add that to your list of personality traits.
From there I would use a hash of a couple of different techniques,
which boiled down to
1. Get into a light relaxed state
2. Imagine myself walking into a lift
3. Turn and face the doors and see a whole lot of buttons
4. See the button that is clearly labeled the trait
5. See and feel myself reach out and touch the button
6. See the doors close and feel the lift go down until the doors open
automatically at a memory of when I displayed the trait
7. Accept the fact of that trait showing up in my experience
8. if I still felt resistance or through the use of a pendulum and
ideomotor
questioning I found residual denial of that trait I would redo the
exercise.
If still no acceptance - which was very rare - I would use EFT
(Emotional freedom Technique) for one or two rounds.
I collated a list of personality traits that totaled about 1,000; here
are some you might
want to try.
Aggressive
Angry
Arrogant
Complainer
Condescending
Controlling
Dependent
Helpless
Hopeless
Intimidating
When you collate a list of personality traits you do the exercise,
accept it within, experience more peace
and less judgment.
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caught my eye
on the library shelf. I read it and didn't do much with it.
Twelve
months later I got it out again and this time it meant so much
more.
Of course reading is one thing and won't bring change you have to
change something about your experience in order to get change.
There has to a shift in attitude or the way you think about things.
