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What do we mean when we talk of self-love? At some level of awareness
we could be talking about feeling worthy, liking being you, or feeling
there is nothing to change.
On another level of awareness it could mean really stopping to notice
that you have never challenged (asked/sought an answer) the fact that
you are doing this thing called living but you have no knowing of what
that is.
Self-love for me is experiencing ever increasing amounts of wonder and
joy at my own existence.
By really stopping and noticing that I exist and challenging the mind
to stay with me it brings amazement, wonder, self-love and a humbleness
that is hard to replicate in the world of things.
I mean really realize like you realize you have never actually noticed
before.
A letting go happens that allows you to not care so much about this
identity and self image you have been carrying around.
The image will still be there to an extent, but the identification with
the image as 'who you are' will loosen.
As you sit there, see if your mind will allow you to consider what
would be different if you were born to a different family.
I believe Buddha said 'that which changes isn't real and that which is
real doesn't change'. Here he is referring to dropping and letting go
believing you are the collection of memories and personality traits and
noticing what would be the same even if you had different memories and
experiences.
All you will ever need is 'you'. There is enough to learn and discover
and entertain you simply by becoming more and more curious and aware
and in awe of 'you'.
As you discover the truth you will notice more and more that your
awareness of your life flows inside outwards rather than outside
inwards.
I distinctly remember the first time I owned the whole world. I was
walking to work in 2006 and I realized that the whole world was within.
Everything I was aware of was happening in my awareness. For there to
be something outside of me, I had to be there also.
It was an amazing experience.
To know the trees along the road and the boats on the water out from St
Heliers, Auckland as I walked down the hill to work were all 'within
me' was liberating and empowering. I
distinctly remembering then the new overwhelming feelings of awe,
wonder amazement and self-love.
What lead up to this was a lot of contemplation and work but what
opened the door was realizing that anything I feel comes from within
me.
That is to say anything I feel is my responsibility. Outside
conditions
or occurrences do not come prepackaged with feelings.
Anything I experience is created and experienced within me.
I had not long earlier really understood and seen this in my own
experience of life.
You can continue to operate in your old way and survive but if you
really want to live a meaningful life, go for the truth.
How do you do that? Find out the truth of who and what you are and the
way 'It' is.
Watch and see yourself do this thing called living and experience
self-love, not just as an idea or a function of positive thinking, but
as an experience.
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