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I will talk more below about possible cause of social anxiety disorder
below and social anxiety help but first of all there is nothing wrong
with you wanting to be alone. There are several personality types
which prefer being alone as opposed to being social and around other
people.
What you probably notice is a fear, phobia or panic whenever you have
to interact in a social way. If that is what you experience then
there are things you can do to become more comfortable.
Cue Alcohol
Why
do you think alcohol is so prevalent whenever two or more people
meet? Very few people are comfortable, and I mean very few.
Maybe in a room of 100 people 5 might feel energized and excited about
interacting with the people there, the other 95 will be in various
stages of 'I hate this, I am so self-conscious, I don't know what to
say, I am so boring, why can't I be like everyone else, I am crap' etc.
Having said that, we are social creatures and notice that one of the
worst punishments incarcerated people suffered was to be put in
solitary confinement. After a while of no interaction it becomes
torturous to the mind.
So for now my first bit of advice is claim your individual make up with
pride and say to yourself and the world, 'I am designed to enjoy my own
company more so than social interaction and that is the way I am'.
Guess what. The thoughts you have about caring what other people think
are the same thoughts that other people are having. Everyone walks
around all day wondering what other people think of them. Did you
realise this? People are consumed with thoughts about how they are
perceived, not about you.
Tongue Between Your Teeth
Go out one day with the specific intention of watching people. People
may look at others but they are really looking to see who notices them.
It validates them as attractive or worthy.
Sit on a park bench or mall seat, lean back, head up and gently hold
your tongue in between the top and bottom teeth with your lips closed
(all this triggers the nervous system to be more relaxed and confident)
and watch how little people notice you. When they do they will be
looking to see who notices them.
Let people think what they want. In actual fact you are
projecting onto people the thoughts you have about yourself. If
you dislike yourself and feel unworthy it is far easier for the ego to
project these outside onto other people. It really does seem like
other people are thinking these things to your mind but in reality
these thoughts originate within you. You have no idea what others are
thinking and that is their stuff to deal with anyway.
This projection is a common way the mind feels a bit better believe it
or not and so this might be a major cause of social anxiety disorder.
It Is All You
The important point is to see that all these thoughts are from you.
Once you see it is all starting and ending in your mind you have a
little more power to change your experience. You can stop
believing all the things you think others are thinking and just be
there, in the moment, without expectations or pressure on yourself to
be funny or interesting or clever or whatever you think it is people
want from you.
Regardless of the cause of social anxiety disorder you can overcome it
by seeing through to the truth of what is going on within your mind.
Do you have experiences you would like to share?
I and many others would like to hear any stories you would like to contribute. Hopefully it will help people who are experiencing what you went through and your story can provide hope and help.
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