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Acts of random kindness by you have an amazing power to
transform how you feel
and to help low self-esteem.
You might wonder, 'how does an action
so self-less have the power to make YOU, the one doing the kindness,
feel good'? It seems counter-intuitive doesn't it? After
all
you are not receiving the kindness from others but rather you are doing
something for nothing!
What Are The Benefits?
The benefits to you of being kind are;
increase feel-good chemicals in your brain
a sense of being worthwhile
a feeling of belonging
adding meaning to your life
knowing you made a difference
help low self-esteem
Why Does It Feel Good?
Have you ever noticed that in a tragedy or natural
disaster such as an earthquake or tsunami, people join
together and a sense of community and togetherness transpires? A
sense of coming together to look after each other transcends even your
most basic needs. It is because in those moments you are
conscious of belonging to something bigger than yourself and you put
others and the whole before yourself. That is when we naturally
perform acts of random kindness without selfish thought.
Have you ever had the unfortunate experience of attending a funeral of
someone who died seemingly tragically or too young?
Yet for a time, maybe a day or two before the funeral until a day or
two after, you experience a resolve and togetherness with everyone
effected. It is a somewhat empowering and strong deep-down
feeling that is a glimmer of 'we will be ok, together'.
Two Examples
You may have already heard of this movie Pay
it Forward. I found it inspiring
and it is definitely worth watching. It is inspired by the idea
of acts of random kindness for no reason at all.
Here is a story from a book The
Power of Intention by Dr W. Dyer. It is a story
from his daughter Sommer and appears on pages 69-70.
I had an opportunity
to
extend
kindness at the supermarket one day when I had my cart filled to the
top with food that my roommate and I would share over the next two
weeks. The woman behind me had an antsy toddler and not nearly as
much
in her cart as I had. I said to her, "Why don't you go
first? You
don't have as much as I do." The woman looked at me as if I'd
just
sprouted extra limbs or something. She replied, "Thank you so
much. I
haven't seen many people around here be thoughtful of another
person.
We've moved here from Virginia and are considering moving back because
we're questioning whether this is the right place to raise our three
children." Then she told me that she was about ready to give up
and
move back home, even thought it would create huge financial strain on
her family. She said, "I'd promised myself if I didn't see a sign
by
the end of today, I was going to demand that we move back to
Virginia.
You are my sign."
Why Do It?
Acts of random kindness by you, and to a lesser extent received by you,
foster and heighten a sense of togetherness.
One of our most basic feelings that drive our actions and thoughts is
to belong. We want to belong to something, anything, it doesn't
matter what we just want to be accepted and together. When we are
at
school we want to be part of a group of friends. We want to be
invited to join in.
When you perform random acts of kindness, with absolutely no thought of
what is in it for you - that part is crucial - you yourself experience
a similar feeling to the belonging, togetherness and resolve that we
normally only experience in moments of tragedy.
One warning
though; if you go out and practice
random acts of kindness,
or any kindness, and you know deep down you are doing this to get
something in return, this is not kindness by you but rather it is an
exchange. It is a trade between you and them or you and the
universe. You are intending to swap your kindness for some
personal selfish benefit.
You might think, 'if I do this they will be obliged to do something for
me.' Or you might think you are banking karma believing the
universe will bring great stuff your way soon in exchange for your
kindness.
Acts of random kindness are unique in that they are devoid of any
thought of 'what is in it for me?' Either you are kind or you are
trading, there is nothing in between. Like everything it is your
intention and attitude that provides the benefit to your experience.
During the cleanup of a natural disaster or tragedy your intention and
attitude will not be I am doing this because I will get...
You are doing it to help another 'just because you can'. This is
the recommended attitude you hold as you perform acts of random
kindness for your fellow human beings. It feels good and your
life automatically, straight away, suddenly has meaning, just from that
one act of kindness.
If ever there was a quick way to help low self-esteem, this is
it. Even if you feel that you have good self-esteem you jump to
the next
level if you adopt this attitude of being kind to others for no other
reason than just because you can.
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. I found it inspiring
and it is definitely worth watching. It is inspired by the idea
of acts of random kindness for no reason at all.
by Dr W. Dyer. It is a story
from his daughter Sommer and appears on pages 69-70.
