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Shadow Work Archives - Page 2 of 3 - Self-Help, Spirituality & Self-Esteem

Shadow Work

Psychological Projection, Ego

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Discover Your Psychological Projection

Psychological Projection

What is psychological projection?  Who you think you are; your self-image, ego or id as Sigmund Freud called it is OK with being some things but not OK with being others.  The ego ‘breathes’ by virtue of believing you are an object that is separate from the rest of the world.

In actual fact you are not separate, you are not an object and you are not one particular way.

In order to feel remotely in charge of your life, the ego that you think you are employs a range of strategies and techniques to..

1.  persist the illusion that you are as you think you are

2.  allow you to reduce some of the pain and anxiety

One such strategy is to have you throw a whole lot of assumptions and labels at the people who appear in your awareness.

Pressure at Work

One example that I can give you from first hand experience is feeling that I was coming under pressure from senior people at work.  When I really looked within at the patterns of thoughts I was running and my attitude I could see that I was putting myself under pressure because I had expectations and an aversion to stress.

Yes I needed to work through it but I myself wanted to get it done because;

– I don’t like people waiting for work from me so I rush through it with urgency so I can then feel free again.

– I want people to be happy and impressed with me.

Instead of seeing this clearly and accepting that I myself was creating pressure to get the work done, I projected the source of the pressure onto senior people at work.

Instead of looking deeply within to see the true cause, the self simply finds someone outside of you to attribute the cause.

Assumptions

Next time you are interacting with someone notice how much mind-reading you really do.  What you are doing is assuming you know something about them and about the way they are thinking.  You will be wrong.

Whatever you think is true about their thoughts will be a projection of a thought or attitude that is held by you.

1. Notice you are assuming things about them

2. Be curious about why you are assuming these things

I recall being in a supermarket and a man spilled some peanuts or something similar from the bulk bin dispensers over the floor.  He was obviously embarrassed but he started angrily lecturing me as I walked by saying ‘ everyone makes mistakes, you make mistakes, she makes mistakes…”.

He projected onto me some thought or attitude.  He thought I was thinking he was incompetent or a fool or stupid or something.  In reality I was quite oblivious and couldn’t care and had only compassion and understanding for what had happened.

Once you see that these projections actually originate from within your psyche just notice that it does.  You don’t need to do anything else.

You see the ego cannot play out it’s strategies with the light of your watching on it.  Awareness is transformational.  Bring consciousness to everything you do and everything you feel and everything you think is true about others.  Your ego’s tendency for using psychological projection will drop away leaving you present and calm and loving.

Poseidon God of the Sea, Archetypes And Myths, Unconscious Personality

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Poseidon
God Of The Sea

Poseidon God of the sea is the archetype covering the domain of emotion and instinct. With Poseidon active you will feel emotion intensely and that will give you plenty to work with to transform.

The word archetype describes what Carl Jung identified as patterns of behaving that arise from the collective unconscious of humankind. The pattern of being is not unique to an individual; it is available to manifest in each of us because we each reflect a part of the whole.

To recognize Poseidon active within your life look
for…

  • Bottling up strong emotions instead of instantaneous
    expression
  • Feeling strongly
  • Uncontrollable rage
  • A poor loser
  • Not comfortable in the world of school and intellectual
    realms
  • Operates day-to-day from a feeling and instinctual base
    rather than logic and planning

Possible drawbacks to living the Poseidon archetype…

  • Can be viewed as emotionally unstable or inappropriate
  • For men can feel alienated as emotions are not
    traditionally accepted within men
  • low self-esteem for not being allowed to be himself by
    society (lack of acceptance)

This information has been summarized from the book Gods in Everyman by Jean Shinoda Bolen.

If you recognize your patterns of acting and being in the world from the above list and are curious about what you can do to change, then first and foremost use this information as proof that you are not different, defective or a victim of your past programming.

The above shows the commonality in the human experience when certain innate energies are active. As such begin by accepting that you do indeed own these particular traits and let it be OK that you do.

This will slightly raise your self-esteem and self-acceptance for each trait you own.   If you would like some guidance or clarification, please contact me, I would love to help.

Pisces Moon Sign, Pisces Traits, Astrological Moon Signs

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If You Are A Pisces
Moon Sign

A pisces moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Sensitive

– Intuitive

– Probably psychic

– Likes change

– Dislikes routine

– Shy

– Easy going

– Creative ideas

– Romantic ideals

– Compassionate

– Easily amused

– Easily misunderstood as dreamy but in reality deep thinkers

– Empathic

– Can understand things not yet experienced

– Curious

– Not overly attached to material possessions

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the pisces traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

List of Personality Traits, Acceptance or Denial of Traits

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List
Of Personality Traits

To Help You

Below is a list of personality traits and an explanation of why it is important to accept all the possible traits of a human being.

good or evil girl over a white background with an angel on one side and a devil on the other

One exercise that I have found extremely personally empowering is accepting and embracing yourself and your interpretation of yourself in every moment.

Denial of what you are actually experiencing creates suffering and contributes to low self-esteem.

Further below I will tell you how I discovered what I was denying and a simple and quick exercise to reach acceptance.

With each acceptance, old nagging worries and bits of suffering drops away and you are left me more peaceful and with higher self-esteem.

That isn’t saying there isn’t any pain, hurt or discomfort to be experienced in your life. These things are inevitable and a fact of life but suffering is something different to pain.  The distinction we are making is the extra suffering that you experience when your mind tells you ‘this shouldn’t be happening’ or ‘I shouldn’t be like this’.

In 2006 Debbie Ford’s book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers caught my eye on the library shelf.  I read it and didn’t do much with it. Twelve months later I got it out again and this time it meant so much more.  Of course reading is one thing and won’t bring change you have to change something about your experience in order to get change.  There has to a shift in attitude or the way you think about things.

Reading just adds more mind stuff to your long list of things you know.  When it comes to personal growth and overcoming low self-esteem there has to be a shift from within.

It’s into this inner-world you must delve and shine a spotlight.  Shining this light of awareness into the places that haven’t been seen= for a long time.

Shadow-Work

All human beings have displayed every trait, or they do display them regularly or could display them given they found themselves in a certain predicament.  Blame it on the human condition.

If you can stop judging anything you do or are as bad and move to acceptance, you are moving in an empowering direction.

To transform you need to have a shift in attitude from disliking some things in yourself and liking others, to accepting ALL things.

Murderer

So an extreme one to start with is to accept that you are a murderer.  For starters see how quick and strong the denial from your own mind is.  Secondly, consider a situation where you are put in a position where it is either you kill them or they kill you, or they kill your child. Can you accept that you are a murderer now after considering that? Of course it doesn’t make you a murderer in the outside world but still you have to accept that you have that potential trait within your experience and add that to your list of personality traits.

After coming to this realization I somewhat obsessively spent one month trawling through books writing down a list of personality traits.  I wrote down every adjective describing a human being and I worked to own, accept and embrace that each one has been or could be in my experience.

As you will come to realize the best teacher is your experience.  Continue to watch your thoughts and feelings from a place of non-judgmental awareness.  Whenever you have a contracted, closed, irritated or frustrated feeling with another or yourself, contemplate what the trait is. What is the word you would use to describe that person you are reacting to?

Add that to your list of personality traits.

From there I would use a hash of a couple of different techniques, which boiled down to

1. Get into a light relaxed state

2. Imagine myself walking into a lift

3. Turn and face the doors and see a whole lot of buttons

4. See the button that is clearly labeled the trait

5. See and feel myself reach out and touch the button

6. See the doors close and feel the lift go down until the doors open
automatically at a memory of when I displayed the trait

7. Accept the fact of that trait showing up in my experience

8. if I still felt resistance or through the use of a pendulum and ideomotor questioning I found residual denial of that trait I would redo the exercise.

If still no acceptance – which was very rare – I would use EFT (Emotional freedom Technique) for one or two rounds.

I collated a list of personality traits that totaled about 1,000; here are some you might want to try.

Aggressive

Angry

Arrogant

Complainer

Condescending

Controlling

Dependent

Helpless

Intimidating

When you collate a list of personality traits you do the exercise, accept it within, experience more peace and less judgment.

List of Archetypes, Carolyn Myss, Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence, Spiritual

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List
of Archetypes To Help You

A list of archetypes will help you recognize your own particular tendencies and way of being.

Carolyn Myss’ books and products are recommended and so is Carol Pearson along with Jean Shinoda Bolen.

What is an archetype?

It is very important for your self-acceptance and self-esteem to understand this. Carl Jung created the term Collective Unconscious. This refers to the tendencies, predispositions, natural inclinations and way of thinking about your self and the world.

You could say these tendencies are natural and arise within you despite the cultural programming of what is good, acceptable and OK.

For example…

Is the energy and pattern that manifests as wanting power above all else. Usually found most obviously in men and Fathers who rule at home or at work with a strong belief that their way is right. For the person with an activated Zeus pattern there is no room for others to be different or have different interests and motivations than him (typically male but also can appear in women as well).

Differing to Zeus pattern in that the extent of the drive to reach the top is less strong in Apollo.
If Zeus is the King then someone with Apollo active would be a good man/woman to have beside him. Seeking approval and wanting to impress those with higher authority (or at least not let them down) he/she will support and work well in a team and be loyal.

The Hades archetype when active makes the person battle within himself to be true to himself which includes recoiling from the world into his/her reclusive inner subjective world and at the same time exist in the world that openly values and rewards the Zeus’ of this world. This archetype is one of non-conformity to what is splashed all over the televisions, magazines and movies. To Hades it seems a foreign world with all that shallowness running around trying to accumulate external things.

This archetypal pattern is the realm of instinct, emotion and feeling. While a Zeus man wouldn’t acknowledge or honor an emotion quite the opposite is true for our Poseidon activated archetype. This is the pattern of living in touch with what is felt in the body. Zeus lives in the head and plans, strives and seeks external. Poseidon however is the emotional one. Again another archetype who for men is not valued in our Western society. This archetype will find it difficult to fit in and feel fulfilled in traditional roles for men. If pushed to become a lawyer for example by a Zeus father his world will be devoid of color and taste.

This archetype when activated shows up in someone who is very much introverted and withdrawn from the outside world. Retreating to the inner world of their thoughts and creativity they are most comfortable working and creating. Especially if they have found their life’s work it will be difficult for the Hephaestus man or woman to think or do anything else. Social skills and communication don’t come naturally and this person becomes somewhat of a loner unless other archetypes develop. This is the strong, silent type who doesn’t let others know what is going on with them, nor wear their heart on their sleeve.

The Ares archetype is ruled by the here and now spontaneous reaction to feeling and impulse in the body. Ruled by the physical world he/she inhabits, very little thought or planning goes into actions. Spontaneous with the powerful characteristics that we normally associate with masculinity. A warrior and a taste for battle, able to fight and protect but perhaps struggles in other ways.

The activate Hermes archetype shows up as a smooth talking, adventurer of the world, always on the go and is able to connect quickly with new friends. Intuitively and instinctively he knows how to deceive and persuade others to do what he wishes and let them feel it was their idea. He does things his own way and has the confidence and mental agility to approach anything with confidence. Think salesman with the gift of the gab who has a girl in every port but also many male friends because he his also a man’s man.

The active Dionysus archetype shows up in life in varied and extreme ways. It is the pattern, in men especially, of not being interested in the external world of achievement, sports and what society typically values. The Dionysus archetype approaches life from a deeply internal perspective and ordinary events are valued for the experience and not the achievement. For example cooking to experience the smells and tastes and not just to satisfy hunger.

Libra Moon Sign, Libra Traits, Astrological Moon Signs

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If You Are A Libra
Moon Sign

A libra moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Conflict avoidance

– Good co-ordinator

– Gentle

– Peace loving

– Sociable

– Affectionate

– Generous

– Diplomatic

– Charming

– Peacemaker

– Sympathetic

– Dislikes solitude

– Indecisive

– Flexible

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the libra traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

Leo Moon Sign, Leo Traits, Astrological Moon Signs

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If You Are A Leo
Moon Sign

A leo moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Organized

– Entertaining

– Likes being centre of attention

– Direct with requests

– An air of authority

– Dramatic

– Sulky

– Vain

– Snobbish

– Generous

– Egoic

– Stubborn

– Don’t take advice easily

– Materialistic

– Leader

– Proud

– Courageous

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the leo traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

Human Shadow, Shadow Work, Shadow Self, Shadow Projection, Healing The Shadow

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What Is The Human Shadow?

Who You Think You Are

Every human being has an idea of what sort of person they are.  The human shadow is everything that does not exist within your accepted self-image.

Who You Think You Are Not

In reality a human being seems to be a potential to be anything at any time rather than one fixed way.  Therefore your self-image keeps you trapped in one way of being.  You feel stuck.  Anything that comes into your awareness that doesn’t fit with your accepted self-image makes you feel bad.

When you feel bad your mind continues to focus on all the parts of your life that seem to not be working.  Then you feel even worse.

This all continues until you wake up to the fact that your self-image is just a mental idea.  It is just a concept; a creation of the mind.  It is not actually you but rather it is how you think you are.

Who Are You Really?

I nor anyone can’t tell you who you are because we would just be exchanging information.  You can’t use the mind and its functions such as intelligence and reasoning to discover the truth of your existence.

The task is to release attachment to being one particular way and instead be willing to experience and be everything.  This is closer to who you are in reality, rather than your self-image.  Even if this way you think you are was full of neat sounding traits like intelligent, sexy, funny, lively, loving you still have the potential as a human being to experience all the opposites.  If you do experience one of these opposite traits one day you would feel terrible because you were attached to being the positive trait.

It is all the opposites that lie outside of your accepted self-image that we call the human shadow.

When you accept that you can and do experience EVERY potential human trait you transform your experience of life.  Life begins to flow effortlessly.

How Do You Discover Your Shadow?

You discover your shadow self not through your mind but via awareness.  Just by watching and observing each moment and what you feel and believe to be true about yourself and the world.

The quickest way is to watch and observe your shadow projection onto other people.  This is when you have some negative feeling towards another person because you judge them to be a certain way.  It is extremely subtle and is why so many people go around feeling annoyed and irritated with others.  Anything that does not fit within your accepted self-image gets projected by your mind onto someone else in your life.

If you are sure you are never rude then rude people will show up in your awareness.  If you believe that you are stupid but don’t accept that about yourself as a potential human experience then you will dislike someone else because you think they are stupid.  Whatever is in your shadow shows up in the outside world.

What Can You Do About This?

Healing the shadow is about reclaiming these traits that you project onto others.  A human is potential not fixed.  You are not one way so work to not care about being a certain way.  If you were to get in with a bad crowd who did drugs and crime and joined a gang you would change.

What you need to do is what they call shadow work.  Healing the shadow means finding all the traits that are outside of your accepted self-image and welcoming them back like long lost children.  The human shadow has within it huge potential for growth and getting your life back on track.

Healing the Shadow, Shadow Work, Human Shadow, Healing The Shadow, The Shadow Effect

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Healing The Shadow

Improves Your Life

Healing the shadow is probably the quickest, easiest and most powerful way to increase self-esteem, self-acceptance and self-love.

What is the Shadow?

The shadow is a term coined by famous Swiss psychologist Carl Jung.  Jung coined the term ‘shadow-self’ to make a distinction between

1. the traits you are unhappy to identify with (shadow)

2. what traits you are happy to hold
within your self-image (ego)

In other words, as you go about your life you have an image of…

  • what you are like
  • ways in which you behave
  • what others think of you

Let us call this your self-image. It is an idea or a creation within your mind that you identify as ‘you’.

We might even go so far as to say you think this is you in reality.

Your shadow is whatever is left out of your idea of you plus anything about this idea of you that you don’t like, accept, or want to be there.

You might not readily hold your hand up and say “I am selfish”, but you might readily hold your hand up and say “I am kind” for example.  We would then say that ‘kind’ would be in your self-image but ‘selfish’ would be in your shadow-self.

Now here comes the powerful piece, which allows you to feel better and have a life that works a little bit better…

…in reality there is no one particular, absolute, undeniable, concrete, indisputable way that you are.

The way you think you are is a creation of your mind based on teachings and experiences and an absence of awareness of the truth.

This is why you feel stuck and yuck! It is OK that you are no particular way.  You are everything in reality, every possible experience and interpretation.

Healing the Shadow

To heal the shadow means to welcome back these traits you previously excluded from your self-image. Have a good, honest look at every area of your life and find two times in your past where you were selfish.

Without judgment accept that as a human being this interpretation called selfish will come up from time to time.  Accept that as the way it is, then accept ‘selfish’ as being part of your experience of living.

The power comes when you do this because for each trait you move from the shadow back to the self-image, you become a little bit more whole and content and you will notice self-acceptance and an increase in self-esteem and self-confidence.

While the shadow is full of traits it runs your life. When it is less full you run your life as a conscious being.  Each time you re-own a trait you have experienced a little more of healing the shadow.

Hades the Greek God, Archetypes And Myths, Unconscious Personality, Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence

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Hades
The Greek God

Hades the Greek God in mythology is the archetype of the personal and collective unconscious outside of awareness that stores all the memories, feelings and aspects not yet embraced. It is a powerful aspect because what ever you disown will own you.

The word archetype describes what Carl Jung identified as patterns of behaving that arise from the collective unconscious of humankind. The pattern of being is not unique to an individual; it is available to manifest in each of us because we each reflect a part of the whole.

To recognize Hades active within your life look
for…

  • reclusive and withdrawn from the world
  • introverted and value own reactions and responses to
    the outside world more than the outside world.
  • ambition, communication and social skills are generally
    lacking
  • few friends if any, preferring to be alone

Possible drawbacks to living the Hades archetype…

  • often goes unseen and unnoticed
  • lack of emotional connection with others
  • feel alienated from a society that rewards ambition and
    achievement
  • distanced from own emotions

This information has been summarized from the book Gods in Everyman by Jean Shinoda Bolen.

If you recognize your patterns of acting and being in the world from the above list and are curious about what you can do to change, then first and foremost use this information as proof that you are not different, defective or a victim of your past programming.

The above shows the commonality in the human experience when certain innate energies are active. As such begin by accepting that you do indeed own these particular traits and let it be OK that you do.

This will slightly raise your self-esteem and self-acceptance for each trait you own.  
If you would like some guidance or clarification, please contact me, I would love to help.