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Self-Help Archives - Self-Help, Spirituality & Self-Esteem

Embracing Obstacles Steps 5 – 9

In earlier posts we looked at Facing Obstacles in our Current World, and Embracing Obstacles – Steps 1-4.  In this post we discuss further thoughts about how to see obstacles from a different point of view. 

5. Embrace the Lesson

Every obstacle holds something to learn from.  Ask yourself what you gained in facing the roadblock. How are you looking at the world differently? What can you share with those around you about your experience? When you cannot only ask these questions but also answer them, you’re discovering the meaning in the encounter. You haven’t wasted your experience, and even roadblocks can hold a purpose.

6. Break Things Down

Frequently our problem with obstacles starts with trying to take on too much at once. In moving forward, re-examine the goal you were trying to accomplish. How can you break down your goal into smaller steps? By focusing on these more modest goals, you’ll find it easier to move ahead. Also, you won’t be quite so overwhelmed by the big picture.

7. Admit You’re Only Human

Everyone makes mistakes. By permitting yourself to fail, you’ll accept that obstacles sometimes occur due to human error. In some ways, these feel like the worst sorts of obstacles, because it’s easy to get caught up in a negative thinking spiral when this happens. You might even start questioning your abilities and wind up wanting to give up on your goals altogether.

Here’s where it becomes crucial to keep things in perspective. By acknowledging you are only human after all, you’re able to admit when you are wrong and to move on. What’s more, you’ll be better able to accept when you make mistakes again in the future, because after all, you will. We all do.

8. Reconsider Your Goals

In the end, it might be the obstacle was connected to what you were trying to accomplish in the first place. It might be the goal either wasn’t well thought out or isn’t what you needed to do in the first place. It might be time to consider the original premise all over again. Is this obstacle trying to tell you something?

Sometimes the obstacle comes because you’d made a shift in what you were trying to do. Have you somehow changed your goal midstream? It might be you need to rethink your plan of attack entirely. When this happens, your obstacle has instead become an opportunity to move in a direction that suits your purposes better.

9. Don’t Forget to Celebrate!

It might seem odd to be thinking about celebrations when talking about obstacles but consider this: When you celebrate your accomplishments, you embrace the journey you’ve been on, barriers and all. Even if you’ve stalled out completely, you can celebrate the progress you made and the work you put into the project. These are all worth getting excited about, and the emotions here are worth embracing.

And remember, when the party is over, ask yourself where you want to go from here. Make choosing new goals part of the celebration. That’s also something to get excited over.

Embracing Obstacles Steps 1 – 4

In an earlier post we talked about Facing Obstacles in our Current World.

So now it’s time to look at some of the important steps that we can do when faced with obstacles.

1. Take a Minute

Whatever you’re doing when you hit the obstacle, quit it. When you stop, you give yourself time to consider the options without all the emotions flaring up. You guard yourself against acting impulsively in a way you might come to regret later on.

To do this, start by taking a deep breath or two. Define the emotions you’re feeling, then wait for them to calm. Knowing whether you’re sad, or angry, or frustrated will help you  find that calm place faster, as you can then address each emotion differently. For example, ask yourself what you’re angry at if you are indeed angry. If you’re sad, accept the sorrow as being a natural part of the disappointment, of meeting something that keeps you from your goal.

As challenging as it might be, don’t try to rush through the feeling or push it down. The best way to use this setback as fodder for out-of-the-box thinking, is to embrace the emotion, no matter what it is. Own it and feel it in your body. Once you feel it’s settled, you’re ready to move on. This process may take an hour, a day, or a week, depending on how major the project and how substantial the complication.

2. Accept Where You Are

Realize obstacles happen. The more you fight them, the worse they’re going to seem. Like standing in quicksand, the sooner you come to accept the situation, the better it’s going to go for you. It’s the struggle that pulls you down. So, take a minute to tell yourself this is a natural and healthy part of the process. Remember, the emotions you’re feeling are legitimate and real. It’s where you are, right now, at this moment. But the feeling won’t last forever.

3. Flip the Switch

After acknowledging the emotions of the moment, choose to let them go. It’s time to switch over to the logic side of your brain, where you store wisdom and experiences. That’s where you’re able to process what just happened and consider your options.

Next, take a step back and look at the obstacle from an outside point of view. That means looking at it as if you were a stranger standing on the outside of your life looking in. What would they see right now? Question your assumptions to find a unique solution.

4. Get Creative

Here’s where a little flexibility is going to go a long way. Start examining the alternatives. Be as creative as possible and don’t discount anything offhand for being ‘too silly’.  Sometimes it’s those silly ideas that are going to get you thinking along a different path entirely. Sure, it’s normal to feel some disappointment at this point. Chances are you had your path all planned out. But when you consider all the new possibilities, it’s easy to get excited about trying something new. Use this energy to fuel you toward the next step.

Want some more ideas about Embracing Obstacles, then go to Embracing Obstacles – Steps 5 – 9.

Facing Obstacles in our Current World

We are currently living in a world of unprecedented anxiety and fear.  There is fear around our ongoing health, and fear around financial certainty.  Change to our regular routine and lifestyle is seen as an obstacle.

So what do you do when you’re facing an obstacle?

Most people don’t like obstacles. That makes a certain sort of sense. After all, when you’ve got a goal that you’re trying to accomplish, the last thing you want or need is something standing in your way.

Obstacles seem to make us stand still; they keep us from getting where we want to go. They cause us to lose whatever momentum we’ve built up. In worst-case scenarios, they become the roadblocks standing in the way of allowing us to ever get there at all.

With all this in mind, it’s no wonder obstacles look so daunting. You might as well pack up now and go home.

Right?

Wrong!

What if obstacles weren’t as bad as you thought? What if the one thing you’re facing right now might hold the solution to the very problem you’re trying to solve?

Consider this for a moment: What if what you’re looking at is not so much an obstacle, as an opportunity? That it’s your emotions holding you back, making you think an obstacle is a stopping point, instead of a new beginning?

It’s time to rethink obstacles.

Read on to find nine simple steps that will help you keep your emotions in check as you reach out and embrace obstacles. It’s time to see the opportunities you never imagined were there and to travel new roads you’ve never been down before.

Embracing Obstacles – Steps 1 – 4

Embracing Obstacles – Steps 5 – 9

Zeus Greek God, Archetypes And Myths, Unconscious Personality

Zeus Greek God

Zeus Greek God as the archetype of the king. The almighty drive for power that might be active in your life right now – or maybe you want it to be.

The word archetype describes what Carl Jung identified as patterns of behaving that arise from the collective unconscious of humankind. The pattern of being is not unique to an individual; it is available to manifest in each of us because we each reflect a part of the whole.

To recognize the ancient Greek god Zeus archetype active within your life look for…

  • stubbornness
  • a strong will
  • leading or wanting to lead
  • bossyness
  • conflicts with authority
  • popular with peers
  • opportunistic
  • desire to be in charge and have power over others

Possible drawbacks to living the Zeus archetype…

  • ignorance or taking for granted family and loved ones
  • having to one day relinquish control
  • ignorance and separation from emotions andauthentic-self
  • constant fear of being overthrown from power
  • only learning there is more to life after some crises

This information has been summarized from the book Gods in Everyman by Jean Shinoda Bolen.

If you recognize your patterns of acting and being in the world from the above list and are curious about what you can do to change, then first and foremost use this information as proof that you are not different, defective or a victim of your past programming.

The above shows the commonality in the human experience when certain innate energies are active. As such begin by accepting that you do indeed own these particular traits and let it be OK that you do.

This will slightly raise your self-esteem and self-acceptance for each trait you own.

If you would like some guidance or clarification, please contact me, I would love to help.

What To Do To Be Saved | How Can You Be Saved | Gift Of Salvation

What To Do To Be Saved

The Story Of Billy Lind

There are repeated stories of what to do to be saved from internal pain, suffering and torment.  There is the story of Billy Lind below which is a classic story of opening up to the divine at the lowest point of his life.  It is a story about the gift of salvation.

***Watch the video below***

Billy’s father left at age 5 and at age 12 he began searching the streets looking to fill the deep emptiness inside.  Needing to support himself he began selling his body, which soon became all he knew, and all he could do to survive.

In Billy’s own words…

I cried and cried. I thought if there was a God He didn’t care enough about me to help me… I was alone and angry. However, I needed to survive, so I took a different approach. I decided I would be in control of every situation I would decide who, what, and where. I became a master manipulator. I got what I wanted when I wanted it. I figured if they were going to use me, I was certainly going to use them. I was so alone, lonely, hurt, and disconnected. I just existed and succumbed to my circumstances, so I started to do drugs, and lots of them to mask the pain.

It is a torturous story that is an example that many people report of what to do to be saved. Billy Lind’s life turned around once he recognised that life is so much bigger than himself.

Even though I do not recognise myself as a Christian – and maybe you do not either – I do recognise that often we go through life unaccepting and without conscious recognition and surrender of what might be true about life that is bigger than each of us, namely what some call God.

This is how you can be saved, it is what healing is about.  It is about Truth.  Aligning with what is real about life instead of maintaining a feeling of needing to be in control and manipulating people.  We do this because without conscious recognition and an attitude of surrender and humbleness to the creator we have nothing, and that hurts.  I hope this helps you understand what you can do to be saved.  Turn everything over and receive the gift of salvation.

What Is Consciousness, Mastery of Consciousness


What
Is Consciousness?

What is consciousness? At each level of consciousness you know yourself and the world differently. As you move up the levels you become less identified with the content of your life.

Dr David Hawkins has written extensively on the levels of consciousness and the different experiences one has as a human being at each stage.

Soon after my initial and profound spiritual awakening in 2005 I read his book Power v Force. He talks about a calibrated scale of 1 to 1000. The numbers on their own don’t have any significance, what is significant is the scale.

Dr Hawkins calibrated through kinesiology the scale at which different ways of knowing yourself and the universe become apparent.

I found this to be interesting but never picked up the book again until over three years later.

We often think that the way we encounter ourselves and the universe is the way that ‘it’ really is.

This is naive and convenient.

Two people will never agree on the same incident or interpretation so how can your way be the way that it really is?

Most people never challenge the mind to explain this. It is convenient to go back to knowing what you know, even though it is an illusion or simply an idea held firmly by your self identity.

There is only one consciousness but each human being’s experience is determined by the amount of ideas and concepts firmly held by the mind that keep consciousness hidden from itself.

In 2008, three years after first reading about these levels of consciousness I went and picked up another copy.

I had recently felt a shift in my consciousness and had started knowing myself differently.

It is interesting to read and compare the way you see yourself compared to Dr Hawkins’ description at each level. You then get an idea of where you are at and what a more peaceful life awaits you as you continue.

I had recently felt a significant increase in peace. I recall knowing and really seeing that everything I experienced really was coming from me.

This calibrates to 600 on the levels of consciousness.

It is an experience of peace. Peace inside as the mind really lets go of trying to be in charge and continue the illusion.

You can imagine the ego being found out and realizing it has lost its willingness and power to pretend anymore.

More and more subtle shifts in becoming aware of how I create my experience would correspond with an increase upwards on the scale of consciousness. This all happened rapidly in 2008.

It was fascinating the number of times I began noticing a certain experience, way of seeing the world, knowing the world and myself, and then a week or so later reading in books by various authors the same words.  It was as if I had written it.

It happened time and time again, including when picking up Dr Hawkins’ books.

This all gave me confidence that I wasn’t just fooling myself and ‘escaping into Buddahood’ as some say. This was real and this was transformation of my experience.

Also, the other thing that gave me confidence is the more I grew the more willing I was to feel uncomfortable.  I don’t mean I went looking for it but I knew extra growth and freedom could come through feeling some pain and I had an attitude of complete surrender to come what may.

There have been several times I burst into uncontrollable crying in a split second out of nowhere. I say uncontrollable but it is more so the fact that I simply surrendered and did not try and control it.

This always happened in private and the crying went without a trace in just a few seconds. One time it was replaced by uncontrollable laughter.  There was no wondering what that was about or why it happened.

This is a good lesson for anyone learning to heal. A child will feel tears and hurt fully and in a split second heal and return to life activities.

Somewhere we learn to try and not feel, as if it is wrong or unnatural. We resist, which makes the feeling worse and it gets stuffed down only to come back with vengeance, more pain and destruction at another time.

To wish feelings away or try and not feel them by distraction is to create problems for your life. Not only your health but also your relationships and experience of life.

Fortunately the curiosity and questioning doesn’t stop. The more you see the more obvious the next question becomes or the next paradox presents itself to your awareness.

Even though there is a change in identification I still feel like the same person I always have been. This is because I AM.

One should not be scared of this change. It is a change to know yourself as you really are.  It is a way to answer for yourself the question, ‘what is consciousness’?  You keep your sense of who you have always been minus any suffering or unhappiness.

Difficult to explain, impossible to make someone else know, worth you being curious about.

Ways to Improve Self Esteem, Overcoming Low Self Esteem,Improving Your Self Esteem, Help Low Self Esteem

11 Ways To Improve Self Esteem

There are just two ways to improve self esteem.  One way to raise self-esteem is through inflating your ego, which will ultimately backfire, the other is through self discovery.  Self discovery and self acceptance is the only permanent and profound way of overcoming low self-esteem.   Read on below to discover why out of both ways to improve self esteem it is my most highly recommended.

1. Know That Your Experience Of Yourself Can Change.

First and foremost you must know that life is not one way.  Who you think you are is neither fixed nor accurate.  A lion could be raised in a herd of sheep and it could think it was a sheep but its thinking is inaccurate.  So to you think you are a certain way but your idea is inaccurate.

2. Know That The Only Way To Change Is To Be 100% Responsible

Whether it is true or not or you like it or not live as if everything you have ever experienced has come to you for a reason.

3. Accept Everything That Comes To You

One step on from taking responsibility for everything is to accept everything that comes as it is.  If you drop into playing ‘poor me’ or ‘life is unfair’ or some other interpretation then you are no longer just accepting but personalising it, i.e you are making everything that happens mean something about you.

4. Discover Your Unique Make-Up

We are all designed differently and it is available to you to discover what makes you unique from everyone else.  We all have different potential in different areas of life.  Abraham Maslow’s humanistic psychology focused on how each individual can actualise their unique potential if the choose.

5. Respect Other People’s Uniqueness

Everyone is on a similar journey towards self discovery and actualisation of their potential, some are doing it consciously while others are unaware it is a possibility or are uninterested.

6. Accept Everything You Discover About Yourself

As you discover your uniqueness own it with acceptance and gratitude no matter what it is.

7.  Drop Comparisons With Others

Comparing yourself to others takes you away from what is real and engages your ego.  The ego does not know what is right for you.  Comparing yourself favourably to someone else will help low self-esteem for a few minutes but the good feeling will vanish as quickly as it came.

8.  Improve What Is Around You

One of the things we do have control of is the environment we are within.  By this I mean the people, books, living conditions, entertainment, food and other influences that surround you.  In every moment make a more positive choice.  We become a product of what is around us so choose wisely.

9. Embrace Your Reality

Everyone has a different version of reality and yours is as valid as anyone else’s.  Be true to what you feel is right for you. Be strong and aligned with your truth.  Say what is true for you and say it without seeking approval from others.  The stronger the alignment between your internal truth and your external words and actions, the faster you will raise your self esteem.

10. Make Your Truth More Important

See that being true to yourself and honest is more important than what other people think.  Other people have their own stuff going on and do not know what it is like to be you.  Make you be the authority of you.  Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  This is one of the most powerful ways to improve self-esteem because you are in essence backing yourself.

11. Realise That Other People Relate To You For Their Own Reasons

People always act according to what is most important to them and what is for their benefit.  It might be glorious to think some people are self-less and act for what is best for others but very few people on the planet have reached this level of development.  Humans are concerned with self-survival so they always act in their best interests.  You do this too but you probably feel ashamed or guilty to admit this.  Accept it and own it.  It is not wrong.

These 11 spiritual principles when lived transform your experience of life and of yourself.  They are 11 ways to improve self-esteem permanently.

Virgo Moon Sign, Virgo Traits, Astrological Moon Signs


If You Are A Virgo Moon Sign

A virgo moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Cautious

– Serious

– Logical

– Analytical

– Methodical

– Perfectionist

– Organized

– Persevering

– Quiet

– Unpretentious

– Intelligent

– Good Memory

– Honest

– Dedicated

– Loyal

– Ignore issues to keep the peace

– Plan

– Caring

– Good servants

– Like routine

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the virgo traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

Surrendering To The Truth Of The Way ‘It’ Is


The Truth Will Set You Free

What do we mean by Truth? Are we talking about they way you think you and the world are in each moment?

Are we talking about judgments such as it was bad to fly a plane into a building?

When we talk about Truth it is wise to begin by forgetting about everything you know and ask yourself what would be still here if I had a different life story.

It is true that you have an identity and a concept of who you are. You believe you are a certain type of person such as a good boy, or a bad, mean girl.

However, your self-image is not the truth. It is a mental construct and a whole lot of ideas that are held firmly by you.

It is quite conceivable that you could have a different life story and self-image. What would be the same between now and that alternative self image?

It would still be you right?

Doing the above exercise you might come to the conclusion that your existence and your being is a common amongst all beings or all humans.

No matter what construct of ideas you have about yourself, what remains true and certain is the awareness that you exist.

We find ourselves here with no knowing of what it is about. There is something about being here which demands surrendering to that which has us here, whatever that may be.

You only have to look out at the stars and moon and contemplate the planets and be brutally honest that you have no idea what the heck it is all about.

It will be the ego, your personality-mind, which won’t be comfortable with admitting you don’t know. You can listen to the ego and let it play its little game of ‘don’t ignore me’, ‘you need me’ or whatever else but don’t let it convince you that

1. you do know

2. you should know

3. this is not important

4. you are special

5. whatever other defense or resistance your ego will creatively come
up with

Learn to surrender to that which ‘is’.

I like to surrender in wonder and awe.

When you let go of everything you know and let the realization that you don’t know anything about existence, being, how you got here, where you go after you leave, why you are here, how the sun and moon and tides work or anything of this nature, you touch a more authentic part of you.

There is a calmness, intelligence and joy when you surrender to what is.

As I sit here and look around and watch my mind make sense of the world we have created, I can see that my mind is necessary to operate in this world as a separate self.

However, I can also see that anything I can distinguish will not exist in the fullness of time and it will exist now as it is irrespective of whether I distinguish it or not.

I can see that thoughts come and go and feelings do also. Ideas about what is important to me come and go. I let them all come and go but never attach myself emotionally to them.

What is the truth of the nature of being, of you, of what you experience or of what allows you to experience?

Trust

Trust That Everything Is OK Will

Bring Miraculous Results

When you trust that there is some path you are on or some unforeseen unfolding to your life, you can live with more peace and purpose.

Ok so I am not so sure Billy Joel below is talking about anything more than the struggles of learning to trust in a romantic relationship, but I like the words in the context of aligning yourself with the way that brings more inner peace.

You can’t go the distance

With too much resistance

I know you have doubts

But for God’s sake don’t shut me out (Billy Joel)

It might strike you as strange if you were to become aware how often you deny this moment. It is as if you are constantly trying to improve the situation by getting somewhere other than right here and now.

I say strange because as you grow in awareness it not only seems fruitless to wish things were different, but it seems ridiculous to ever think that there is somewhere else to get or something to change.

Sure you may desire some change but that will happen when and if the circumstances are aligned with that change. You can’t make the change happen but you can sure accept and trust this moment, wherever you are.

That is what I like about the video of Jason and his story. He comes across as aligning himself with the principle that he can hold a dream or a desire but he is going to accept his life as he finds it in each moment. Not only accept it but also excel and be enthusiastic at it like he was as the team manager.

That is to say he seems to not create suffering for himself. If he desperately wanted things to be different and wanted to be a starting member of the team every week then is life would be misery wouldn’t it? He would constantly be wishing things were different than the way they were.

That doesn’t stop him from dreaming of things being different but he comes across on the video as making the distinction between what is now and what is just his wishing.

Wherever you find yourself is the place you need to fully fill before life will move you on.  By that I mean completely accepting your reality and acknowledging it is that way now.  Jump into your fate with both feet.

Anything else will keep you suffering and stuck.

When you let go of wanting to be somewhere else or wanting to be someone else you will experience a shift. The days of spending every waking moment wishing things were different will be replaced by peace
and appropriate action.

Who are you to say what is right and wrong or should not be happening? You don’t even know why you are here, who you are, how you got here, where you go after this life but still you try and control the way things are.

To sit back and trust that everything is as it is and to trust that which is bigger than you, which you are obviously a part of, is to align with a peaceful, humble way of life.

It is very humbling to give up control and to stop trying to change this moment with effort.

You can acknowledge this moment, identify what you would like to experience differently and then seek to change the circumstances that will allow you to experience the difference.

Seek without strain, without effort, with trust and with faith.

Even as you strive to improve some area of your life, still there remains trust and faith that all is in order.

Who are you to say things are not as they should be?

Chuck Spezzano in his book If it Hurts it isn’t Love says, “The highest level of success is something we flow with, not something that is planned. We do not control the wave when we are surfing…we go with the flow of it and to the extent we do, we become successful”.