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Self-Help, Spirituality & Self-Esteem - Page 3 of 14 - Spiritual Enlightenment for Self-Esteem

The Four Agreements Book, Don Miguel Ruiz, Toltec Wisdom

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The Four Agreements Book

The four agreements book comes out of ancient Toltec wisdom that originated in Southern Mexico.

Who Wrote It?

Don Miguel Ruiz was born in 1952 and raised in Mexico amongst a family that had a long line of healers and teachers of Toltec wisdom.  Toltec refers to a collection of people who practiced a way of life and shared common insight into wisdom and knowledge of life in Southern Mexico thousands of years ago.

When Was It Written?

He completed and had the book published in 1997.  In 1987 he began healing practices but began to see that he preferred teaching to healing.  Teaching is more about empowering people to discover themselves what is true, and I fully understand and share his preference in this regard.

I first heard of the book by a fellow retreat attendee in 2005, Napa Valley, California.

What Is The Four Agreements Book About?

  • Most everything that this website is about.  Integrity, honesty, authenticity, personal responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions.
  • Ruiz also writes about noticing just how much we assume is true.  We assume we know how other people feel and think and we are almost always completely wrong.
  • Developing unshakable personal power in the face of other people’s words and behaviour.  Know that other people have a lot of stuff going on and the way they behave towards you is not your responsibility.  You are responsible and empowered about how you behave in return though.  Hint: next time you have a confrontation or situation where you need someone else’s cooperation, quietly say to yourself with your attention on them ‘I love you’ repeatedly.

This technique is amazing and I use it a lot!  In quick time you notice the other person’s attitude change, all because you have changed your energy.  As one of my teachers used to say ‘you must go first’.

  • Either do your best or allow yourself to move onto something where you can do your best.  There are no rules about what you must be good at doing, what you must enjoy or when you should do it.  If you want to do something or it needs to be done and you can then do it.  Otherwise don’t do it.

Across all the teachings and all the ancient wisdom of the world through to modern day psychologists and spiritual teachers, no one says anything new.

Some teachers or some traditions will present and explain the knowledge in a way that resonates with you and helps you transform the way you live.  Your job is to keep seeking and following what comes into your awareness and apply it in your life if it feels right for you.

At the right time the right books, workshops and opportunities will present themselves to you.  The Four Agreements book has been a best seller for many years.  The way you live your life; your attitudes towards yourself and others, is a major determinant of your experience of life.  This book is a great place to start.

The Enlightenment Process

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The Enlightenment Process

That You Are On Now

Wake up to the enlightenment process, which is available to everyone who wants it. 

Many people don’t have any knowing of who they are, they are living inauthentic lives and pretending. 

Is finding instantaneous enlightenment something you desire?  Do you wish you could somehow take who you are; your history and story and particular circumstances and change it?

Then you would be happy and peaceful right?

If you took some time to think and examine this it might strike you as absurd.

Firstly, it is the way it is and secondly why do you have to judge the way it is as wrong or a mistake?

Part of the enlightenment process is being OK with the perfection of this moment.

That isn’t to say it is your first choice preference.  How could this moment always be everyone’s first choice preference?  It can’t.

This enlightenment, or knowing of your essence, may be what you are truly looking for instead of that powerful work position, status, wealth or achievement that you think is the bearer of the contentment and enjoyment of life you seek.

In any given moment you are as you are.  You have strengths and weaknesses, times to shine, times to sit and let others shine.

Simply observe and acknowledge and say yes to what you experience whether you like it or not.

When you look at the judging that goes on you will see comparisons with others.  You will see expectations you place on yourself to live up to someone else’s beauty, charm, wit, intelligence, profession and the list goes on.

So in that moment you have created your own suffering.  You have created your own suffering by not accepting things as they are.

If you are not a fast runner, accept it.  If you are not a beauty, accept that too.  Although in the game of comparisons you will be more beautiful or faster than some.

Say ‘yes I am this’ and ‘yes I am not that’.  So what!

Part of seeing the oneness and the seeing the enlightenment process is to see that everything is as it is and to accept it as ‘not for me to determine this is wrong’.

Resistance alienates you from an awareness of your authentic self and with this you feel alone, separate, anxious and inferior in a big world.

It is easier for you to look outwards and pick people or a situation as the cause of your feelings.  You will point to the fact that you are single and say ah! it is because I don’t have a partner that I feel lonely.

Or you will say in your mind, ‘my husband doesn’t love me enough, which is why I feel lost and alone’.  Or you will pick on your children or your profession or something, anything to blame for your feeling.

This is easier and more normal for the mind to do than look inwards and ask ‘what are my feelings about and how am I creating them or making them worse?’

Really looking inwards and becoming more aware of how you are doing your life experience is the opening to creating some space between you and your world.  This is the meaning of, and the process of enlightenment.

That space is comforting and fulfilling.  The space between the non-judgmental observation of the world and the world is where the enlightenment process is remembered.

You are OK in that space; you have always had that space, you are that space.

You create space by dropping expectations.

You create space by dropping comparisons.

You create space by observing expectations and comparisons and letting it be OK that your mind has created some.

You are not your mind, you are not your thoughts and you are not your self-image.  You have these but you are not them.

You can let them play like children.  You accept you can’t get rid of them and you cease trying.  You watch them play their games while you abide in that space where there is peace and contentment.

You see there is something bigger than ‘you’.  You surrender and give up trying to make yourself happy.

You simply be happy and enlightened now.  This is the enlightenment process and the meaning of instantaneous enlightenment.

Teach Me How To Pray, How To Pray Effectively

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Teach Me How To Pray

How Do I Know What To Pray For?

If you are searching for ‘teach me how to pray’ or ‘how to pray effectively’ the most important point I have found is that asking must be done from the heart.

What Sort Of Things Do I Say?

Pick something you would like to experience and ask that you experience it.  This is a great way to practice being integral, authentic and honest.  It is a perfect opportunity for you to notice how much of a challenge it is to put your truth into words.

You can begin by saying ‘I ask that…’.

The clearer you can get on what it is you are asking the better you will feel about what you are saying.

Things To Watch Out For

  1. Make sure you say what it is you want to experience and not what you don’t want to experience.  For example don’t ask for less anxiety but ask for inner peace instead.
  2. Not letting go, not trusting.  The paradox here is that by asking you imply       that you have at least a little faith that you are connected to something bigger and more expansive yet by not letting go and trusting you imply that you don’t have faith.
  3. Having specific expectations.  It is impossible to know exactly why things happen to us the way they do or why we find some area of life a breeze but are clueless in another.  Therefore, expectations that outcomes should look a certain way or your path to fulfillment and success must look a certain way and holding on to these expectations can hold you back.
  4. Asking for something from your head and not your heart.  Your conscious mind and its ideas are not designed to know what it is you really want.  Ideas in the mind usually come from
    clever marketing and advertising to make you think having certain goods is the way to happiness.  You can ask for possessions but be clear that receiving them won’t make you feel OK for any longer than about 3 days.  Then the mind will set its sights on the next expensive thing, much to the advertisers delight.

I hope this goes someway to helping you if you have been searching for ‘teach me how to pray’ or how to pray effectively.

Taurus Moon Sign, Taurus Traits, Astrological Moon Signs

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If You Are A Taurus Moon Sign

A taurus moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Likes security and routine

– Strong willed

– Conservative

– Steady

– Sociable

– Reliable

– Measured

– Persevere

– Affectionate

– Faithful

– Loyal

– Calming and comforting

– Independent

– Self-reliant

– Diplomatic

– Not spontaneous

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display
every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the taurus traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

Strength Quotes, Integrity Quotes, Honesty Quotes

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Strength Quotes

And Quotes About Honesty

Here is a list of strength quotes to remind you of the strength and power that comes from being true to yourself and honest with others.

There is no reason to be ashamed of what you want or what is important to you.  The world wants your truth.  You are as you are and I hope that these strength quotes remind you that really the only thing worth being in life is integral with your inner guidance and conscience.

  • If you have integrity, nothing else matters.  If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters. Alan Simpson.
  • Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the Truth.  Benjamin Disraeli.
  • A half Truth is a whole lie. Yiddish Proverb.
  • Strength is a matter of a made up mind. John Beecher.
  • As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. Josh Billings.
  • Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde.
  • When in doubt, tell the Truth. Mark Twain.
  • Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.  August Wilson.
  • Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength. Ralph Sockman.
  • With lies you may get ahead in the world, but you can never go back.  Russian proverb.
  • It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more ‘manhood’ to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.  Alex Karras.
  • There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.  French Proverb.
  • The Truth is more important than the facts. Frank Lloyd Wright.
  • Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. Thomas Jefferson.
  • Truth and Honesty is the oldest and most powerful of all of the human values.  Gary King.
  • Respect for the Truth is an acquired taste. Mark Van Doren.
  • Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. Mahatma Gandhi.
  • Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.  Albert Einstein.
  • What you get in your life is not a result of what you want, it is a result of Who You Are. Marlon Smith.
  • To thine own self be true. William Shakespeare.
  • To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves.  Will Durant.

Spiritual Retreats For Women, Healing Retreats, Detox, Yoga, Weight Loss

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Spiritual Retreats For Women

Why Go On A Spiritual Retreat?

Spiritual retreats for women are a chance to rediscover who you really are.  Women are often more prone to forgetting themselves and making other’s more important.  Then one day they realise that they have no idea who they are or what they actually want.

A retreat is a chance to turn your attention back on yourself for a few days.  It is a chance to nourish your soul and remember what it was you dreamed of as a little girl but since forgot.  They can be healing retreats or yoga holidays or even a weight loss retreat or detox retreat.

It could involve learning techniques such as yoga, mediation or breathing exercises.  It could be a combination of any type of activities such as drawing, writing, contemplating or dancing.  You will know before you go what will be involved.

Attention

You know how good it feels when you have attention from other people don’t you?  That is assuming you desire their attention of course.  Everything in nature loves attention and that includes your inner-self receiving YOUR attention.  Your inner self is likely starved of your own attention and kindness.  It is very healing and empowering to nourish your soul in this way and can open up blocked channels of creativity and insight.

Where Are They Held?

Somewhere still, silent and away from the modern world.  Natural, peaceful surroundings is the normal location.  Their will be minimal distractions so you can reconnect to nature and your spiritual self.  The days events will be mostly organised for you, including free time to sit, walk or talk.  Your meals will be prepared so you can turn your attention back on yourself.

Who Else Will Be There?

You are not the first person to go on a retreat, there are many others like you.  Some people will have been on a previous retreat, some people go on retreats often because spiritual growth and self-discovery is their hobby.

Everyone starts somewhere but the beauty is that everyone will be on a similar path and the connection and compassion for each other on a retreat makes it what it is.

What A Retreat Is Not!

It is absolutely not about…

  • being told what to believe
  • being made to wear anything
  • twelve hours a day chanting while staring at a candle (unless you know this in advance)
  • joining up to anything

If any of these things happen or are asked of you then you can be sure it is not the right thing for you.  A spiritual retreat is about self-empowerment and discovering your truth and your spiritual self.  For that to happen you need to be free from restriction and other people’s ideas.

If you are hosting spiritual retreats for women and would like to contact me to advertise or list on this page then please feel free to do so.

Spiritual Poems, Spiritual Inspiration Poems

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Spiritual Poems

Here are a selection of spiritual poems to help you cultivate inner peace, contentment and eventually, self-love. I hope you enjoy these spiritual poems. They each speak of a different aspect of living an authentic, honest and humble life.

 

Helen Steiner Rice

The better you know God, the better you feel,

For to learn more about Him and discover He’s real

Can wholly, completely,and miraculously change,

Reshape and remake and then rearrange

Your mixed-up, miserable, and unhappy life

Adrift on the sea of sin-sickened strife.

But when you once know this Man of good will,

He will calm your life and say, “Peace, be still” …

So open your heart’s door and let Christ come in

And He’ll give you new life and free you from sin.

And there is no joy that can ever compare

With the joy of knowing you’re in God’s care.

 

 

Start Where You Stand

Berton Braley

Start where you stand and never mind the past,

The past won’t help you in beginning new,

If you have left it all behind at last

Why, that’s enough, you’re done with it, you’re through;

This is another chapter in the book,

This is another race that you have planned,

Don’t give the vanished days a backward look,

Start where you stand.

The world won’t care about your old defeats

If you can start anew and win success;

The future is your time, and time is fleet

And there is much of work and strain and stress;

Forget the buried woes and dead despairs,

Here is a brand-new trial right at hand,

The future is for him who does and dares,

Start where you stand.

Old failures will not halt, old triumphs aid,

To-day’s the thing, to-morrow soon will be;

Get in the fight and face it unafraid,

And leave the past to ancient history,

What has been, has been; yesterday is dead

And by it you are neither blessed nor banned;

Take courage, man, be brave and drive ahead,

Start where you stand.

 

A Brand New Start

 

Jill Lemming

God sometimes brings us to a place

where answers can’t be found…

Where we cannot see tomorrow,

for confusion all around.

Yet deep inside we realize

that all things work for good…

Even times when we’ve been wounded

and we feel misunderstood.

Don’t dwell on the injustice

and stay focused on God’s heart…

Find forgiveness and go on,

you can make a brand new start.

 

A Little Prayer

 

S.E. Kiser

That I may not in blindness grope,

But that I may with vision clear

Know when to speak a word of hope

Or add a little wholesome cheer.

That tempered winds may softly blow

Where little children, thinly clad,

Sit dreaming, when the flame is low,

Of comforts they have never had.

That through the year which lies ahead

No heart shall ache, no cheek be wet,

For any word that I have said

Or profit I have tried to get.

 

He is Always There

 

Anonymous

We can’t foresee the turning of the tide

When problems beset us and tears are cried.

Sometimes life deals from the bottom of the deck

Filling us with worry and leaving us a wreck.

The enemy seeks to devour and destroy,

Using deceptions to eliminate our joy.

While walking through the valley, our heads hung low,

The mountain top seems so high, our footsteps slow.

How many times have we traveled this road

To battle the frustrations of troubles bestowed?

Yet when we come to our darkest hour

God demonstrates His infinite power.

It doesn’t matter how bad things might seem,

He always comes through, our faith to redeem.

God will not fail us in our times of pain.

He’ll never forsake us, by our side He’ll remain.

So when we find ourselves at a total loss

Or when the valley seems too wide to cross,

Just remember you’re in His love and care,

Look over your shoulder, He’s always there!

 

Kindness

Naomi Shihab Nye

Before you know what kindness really is

you must lose things,

feel the future dissolve in a moment

like salt in a weakened broth.

What you held in your hand,

what you counted and carefully saved,

all this must go so you know

how desolate the landscape can be

between the regions of kindness.

How you ride and ride

thinking the bus will never stop,

the passengers eating maize and chicken

will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,

you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho

lies dead by the side of the road.

You must see how this could be you,

how he too was someone

who journeyed through the night with plans

and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,

you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.

You must wake up with sorrow.

You must speak to it till your voice

catches the thread of all sorrows

and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,

only kindness that ties your shoes

and sends you out into the day to mail letters and

purchase bread,

only kindness that raises its head

from the crowd of the world to say

it is I you have been looking for,

and then goes with you every where

like a shadow or a friend.

If you would like to read more in depth spiritual poems I recommend Rumi, Hafiz or simply seek and you will find spiritual poems that resonate with you. Spiritual Poems are like any other poem, when they resonate with your experience it is like you are having your experience mirrored back to you.

When it doesn’t resonate, it can seem like the poet is speaking about something which you have no idea. As always be patient, gentle on yourself and know you have your own unique path.

Spiritual Growth, What Is Spirituality?

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What Is Spiritual Growth?

What is spiritual growth? There is a perfectly good reason that the word spirituality does not make immediate sense to everyone, and that reason is because apprehending spirituality is outside of intellectual grasping; it can only be known truly by direct awareness, or direct experience, of Self.

To attain enlightenment we need both direct experience and understanding.  But it is important that the experience comes first and the explanation or the knowledge comes afterward. – Deepak Chopra.

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Spiritual Surrender

What is spiritual surrender? Often we think we need to plan and think out each moment. Learn to give up trying to control and amazing things begin to happen. Bring awareness to how often you wish to control this moment… Read More

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What Is Consciousness?

What is consciousness? At each level of consciousness you know yourself and the world differently. As you move up the levels you become less identified with the content of your life.  Dr David Hawkins has written extensively on the levels of consciousness and the different experiences one has as a human being at each stage… Read More

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A Matter Of Trust

When you trust that there is some path you are on or some unforeseen unfolding to your life, you can live with more peace and purpose.  Ok so I am not so sure Billy Joel is talking about anything more
than the struggles of learning to trust in a romantic relationship, but I like the words in the context of aligning yourself with the way that brings more inner peace… Read More

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Practice Of Contemplation

A very powerful technique is the practice of contemplation. Some might call it navel gazing but these people probably don’t understand how or why this discipline can change your life… Read More

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The Enlightenment Process

Wake up to the enlightenment process, which is available to everyone who wants it.  Many people don’t have any knowing of who they are, they are living inauthentic lives and pretending.  Is finding instantaneous enlightenment something you desire?  Do you wish you could somehow take who you are – your history, story and particular circumstances – and change it? Read More

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The Importance Of Being Honest

The importance of being honest cannot be over-stated. Being grateful is a very powerful spiritual growth attitude but wise people also know being honest is extremely powerful.  It is extraordinary how much we lie. Being honest and displaying honesty is something that we somehow hold as scary.  We lie to others and to ourselves… Read More

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The Illusion Of Being Separate

One massive assumption we make while living this separate life is to assume we are over here and all that is over there.  Being separate, or at least living like you are, is lonely and difficult. The alternative is to notice some assumptions… Read More

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Spiritual Fitness Training

If you have ever reached a reasonable level of physical fitness you know that you can do more activity in your life without feeling overwhelmed and beyond your threshold.  Likewise with spiritual fitness, when you have trained your attitude and way of thinking and relating to the world, you are able to stay calm, relaxed and at inner peace no matter what may come… Read More

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What Is Truth?

What do we mean by Truth? Are we talking about they way you think you and the world are in each moment? Are we talking about judgments such as it was bad to fly a plane into a building? When we talk about Truth it is wise to begin by forgetting about everything you know and ask yourself what would be still here if I had a different life story… Read More
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Teach Me How To Pray

If you are searching for ‘teach me how to pray’ or ‘how to pray effectively’ the most important point I have found is that asking must be done from the heart.  Pick something you would like to
experience and ask that you experience it.  This is a great way to practice being integral, authentic and honest.  It is a perfect opportunity for you to notice how much of a challenge it is to put your truth into words… Read More

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Signs Of Spiritual Awakening

Awakening is funny. In fact those that experience early signs of spiritual awakening often find it hilarious, and so it was with me.  I was new to the world of self help and had no concept or experience of spiritual growth. In fact ironically I booked to go on a workshop that I thought was going to make me understand more about others and how to get them to align with me. In short, I wanted more power… Read More

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Spiritual Fitness Training, Developing Self-Esteem, Finding Inner Strength, Self-Confidence

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Spiritual Fitness Training Empowers You

What Is Spiritual Fitness Training?

If you have ever reached a reasonable level of physical fitness you know that you can do more activity in your life without feeling overwhelmed and beyond your threshold.

Likewise with spiritual fitness, when you have trained your attitude and way of thinking and relating to the world, you are able to stay calm, relaxed and at inner peace no matter what may come.

Is It About Doing Weird Practices?

No not at all.  This is about finding inner strength.  It is about realising that within you there is the ability to be calm and forgiving and loving and compassionate no matter what the circumstances.

It is within you already but it is obscured by the way you think of yourself and the world.

What Are The Benefits?

Apart from developing self-esteem and feeling that you are connected and meaningful it is about rediscovering the truth of who you really are.  The way you feel about yourself and life, and how effective you are at living a meaningful life is determined by they way you think about yourself and life.

How Do I Develop It?

  • Be honest.  Stop pretending.  When you speak let the breath that starts from your abdomen arise up through your centre and push the words out.  The breath carries the words like a surfer on a wave, except the words and the breath are one.  When you do this you are speaking from your truth, your gut, your experience.
  • Realise that you are not in control and trust that it is OK.  Have faith, let go of trying to understand because you never will.  Turn it all over to a higher power.
  • Pray, or at least ask for what you feel in your gut.  Discern between what you imagine you want and what you actually want.  The ego will tell you what to want based on greed and fear, your gut will tell you what you really want deeply to feel fulfilled.

When Should I Do This?

This is about being real and therefore being empowered to live a life without overwhelm.  It is to be done as much as you can.  It is about living your life this way.  The alternative is to stay stuck feeling alone and isolated and unworthy.  

Spiritual fitness training is really about living aligned with the truth of your true nature.  Integrity, truth and trust.

Signs of Spiritual Awakening, Peter Ralston, Enlightenment

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Signs Of Spiritual Awakening

Are Sometimes Funny

Awakening is funny. In fact those that experience early signs of spiritual awakening often find it hilarious, and so it was with me.

I was new to the world of self help and had no concept or experience of spiritual growth. In fact ironically I booked to go on a workshop that I thought was going to make me understand more about others and how to get them to align with me. In short, I wanted more power.

So there I was flying half way around the world to attend a workshop on something I didn’t know anything about and I hadn’t even heard the name of the workshop before!

Peter Ralston was running a month-long retreat, the first week of which was entitled an Ontology Workshop, or Experience the Nature of Being

Peter started introducing me and 15 others to the possibility that what we assume is real can be challenged and seen as simply an idea held firmly by the mind.

Throughout the eight days we confronted and challenged a lot. I hated it and was counting down the hours. I didn’t hate the workshop or the teacher or the environment or theother participants but something inside felt confronted and was screaming to go. About half way through the workshop Peter quoted somebody which had a profound impact on me.

Who Am I?

He said if you can hold the question Who am I? in your awareness for three days, the same way a feather would gently sink and sway to the bottom of a lake, you will be enlightened. The last one and a half days of the workshop were to contemplate such a question.

The workshop finished and I left Texas to head for San Francisco. I continued to contemplate Who am I?. On the ride to the airport, at the airport, in the plane, at the hotel, that afternoon, that evening, right up until dropping off to sleep. As soon as I woke there the question was again, and I held it in my awareness until later that morning when the three days were up. Nothing had changed and nothing happened. Oh well, I will just have to try again some other time. Maybe this is more difficult than I thought.

But I do remember reading about Peter’s experience. He held the question for three days and then let the question go and carried on with his life. That is when he got the direct experience of reality. So, remembering that, I happily let go and enjoyed my week in that great city San Francisco. At the end of the week I was heading to Napa Valley, California for another eight-day retreat. This was just as intense and challenging as Peter’s workshop but in a different way. If we weren’t crying we were laughing for eight days straight as we challenged our childhood patterns and beliefs.

The second-to-last morning we were doing a very intense exercise involving confronting everything that we were frustrated, angry and annoyed with about ourselves. This was a dark-side confrontation letting loose with mallets and cushions and a lot of yelling, swearing and intensity. Then suddenly without warning, maybe half way through this 40 minute exercise I changed from bashing to giggling and laughing.

I was awakening. This was one of the very definite signs of spiritual awakening. I was aware of who I am. The one that I thought I was split into two so to speak. The one I always thought I was was still there but now there was another me; the real me. It was hilarious.

How could I have been so blind? How could I have been fooled into thinking I was my inner voice? My story? So this is what awakening is! After a few minutes of laughing while everyone else was still swearing and bashing, I suddenly had the urge to take out the frustration at being tricked.

I gladly resumed bashing but this time I was empowered. I knew I could never suffer again. Nothing had quite the same importance, nothing meant so much about me, I had less to defend. I could simply be who I was and be OK.