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overcoming self-esteem Archives - Self-Help, Spirituality & Self-Esteem

Improving Your Self Esteem, Overcoming Low Self Esteem, Ways To Improve Self Esteem, Enhancing Self Esteem, Raising Self Esteem

Improving Your Self Esteem

Improving Your Self Esteem Clipart Image of a Bald Woman's Head

Imagine improving your self esteem to a level where life was enjoyable and inspiring.  A life where you felt like you were a part of something bigger.  Kind of like the feeling you get when you get offered a job or you receive an invitation to a party.  You feel that you are wanted, have some value and feel greater self-esteem.

Why do some people feel that their lives are worthwhile and yet others
feel like they are a waste of space and a burden?

Are their jobs more important?  Is it because they were blessed with a better personality or greater intelligence?  The truth is there could be a dozen reasons why you think someone is better or more deserving or ‘together’ than you.

If you are serious about overcoming low self-esteem you can notice the pattern between those that do have and those that don’t.  The most permanent and powerful way of enhancing self esteem is to look at what these people think of themselves, not what they think of their achievements.

Be very clear that anything you have WILL NOT and CAN NOT make you feel differently about yourself.

The advertisers and marketers do a great job of linking products, goods and services to your self worth and they convince us through clever advertising that owning stuff and having stuff is the way of raising your self-esteem.

When you look at it closely the thought process you go through in raising self esteem by your possessions or achievements is via what you think others will think of you.

If you get the new gadget, car, or house with a certain address you feel better for a short while because you feel that others think of you differently and that makes you feel better about yourself, for about 2 to 9 days if you are lucky.

Improving your self esteem permanently is about changing what YOU think of yourself irrespective of what others think.  In fact you can’t raise your self-esteem while you care what others think of you.

So how do you change what you think of yourself?

You discover who you are, accept it and embrace it.  Cherish the unique individual that you were created as.  You become conscious, grateful and in awe of that which you are and that which created you as opposed to that which you have.

As you become more conscious, which seems to be the only thing to do while here on earth, you transform from believing you are something to knowing that you have that thing.

For example you might think you are the body but as you become directly conscious of reality you know that you have a body.  You then might think you are the feelings and thoughts until you transcend this and see that you have thoughts and feelings and so it goes on into infinity.

You continue to discover the truth and each time you raise your consciousness you permanently raise your self esteem.  Or more accurately you leave behind the illusion of who you falsely think you are and realise you are in reality OK.

The fastest ways I have experienced of improving your self-esteem is through shadow work and also the personal peace procedure of
EFT.

Improving Your Self Esteem business man with personal goals on the wall: family - car and a house

Can you see that improving your self-esteem permanently is about knowing the truth of you in reality, as an existence, as a being rather than trying to make the illusion a better feeling illusion?

Help Low Self Esteem, Overcoming Low Self Esteem, Enhancing Self Esteem, Raise Your Self Esteem, Boosting Self Esteem

How You Can Help Low Self Esteem

What Is Low Self Esteem?

I don’t know if people think that a definition will help low self-esteem but there are numerous different attempts at defining self-esteem.

beautiful woman doing yoga exercises in a tranquil location help low self esteem

These usually end up being quite wordy and abstract, just a bunch ofwords that have nothing to do with what causes a lack of it or a feeling of having it or how to help low self-esteem.

The experience of low self esteem is what we need to talk about.  As with anything it is making the words fit the experience that provides value.  An experience of low self-esteem is based upon the belief of being not good enough, not worthy, defective, missing something, not complete.

So What Should I Do?

I didn’t have particularly low self esteem and wasn’t looking at how to help low self-esteem but in 2007 after a couple of years of spiritual and personal growth I discovered something simple yet profound.  I realised that it was the ideas of my mind that thought there was something missing or something wrong.  It then became a process of helping my mind ‘see’ the truth and when this is done the mind relaxes into peace.

Because the mind doesn’t know any better and because we give it so much importance in our western culture the mind can only lead you to believe there is something wrong.  It seems there is something missing because from its point of view there is.  Your mind knows it is not you but you believe that it is you.  Talk about pressure!

Imagine if you were assumed to be a rockstar or a great politician and everyone believed it and expected you to be that.  After a while you might think you are this rockstar or politician as well but deep down you would know you are not.  So also the mind has this pressure from you on it and it doesn’t like it!

Because you think you are where you experience your mind to be, i.e. in your head, you think that is you.  As I say though, the mind is not you, it is something you have to use, just like your body is for you to use and so here we have this terrible misplaced sense of identity.

How Do I De-Identify From My Mind?

Drop into your body.  Feel from your body, your heart, your navel, anywhere and everywhere that you feel aliveness.  When you are ‘in’ your body, meaning when your attention and awareness is on the feeling of being alive in this moment you are much, much closer to who you really are.

From this present feeling awareness the mind disengages from all its endless chatter.  You can notice that at times the mind will take your attention away from your body and play out a scenario such as

  • mentally rehearsing a conversation or scenario
  • replaying a proud moment from your past
  • making up a conversation that you wished happened
  • replaying a tragic memory

or some other content.

When it does, return to being conscious of your body now and notice the thoughts and internal chatter stops.

Do this as a way of life.  It can be difficult as it feels good to engage in a whole lot of mind activity.  We get to feel powerful, justified, proud, respected, loved, pitied, in control and so the list goes on.  Ultimately though you need to be curious and explore the realisation that your mind is not you.

You are here now, experiencing what is real right now.  I am not saying you are your body but I am saying attention on your body is a way to deeper understanding and peace.

So How Does All This Help Low Self-Esteem?

Wen you realise you are not your mind, you can be vigilant at not believing what you think is true about you.  Your mind will communicate to you via your negative emotions what it believes is true or acceptable for you.

When you feel shame or guilt or any other emotion, stop drop into your body and be curious what your mind believes to be true that caused you to feel that way.

Man crouching on beach help low self-esteem

You might find you are ashamed to be a man or a certain race or feel that you are not smart enough.  Your job is to accept yourself however your mind chooses to interpret events.  If your mind tells you that you are not clever just drop into the body and say something like ‘I hear you, so what’  Likewise with ugly, fat, boring, dirty etc.

Accept every distinction your mind makes as being OK and you will be playing the mind at its own game and it will give up.  This is one powerful way to help low self-esteem.