You Do Acts
Of Random Kindness

You Feel Good

Acts of random kindness by you have an amazing power to transform how you feel and to help low self-esteem.

You might wonder, ‘how does an action so self-less have the power to make YOU, the one doing the kindness, feel good’?  It seems counter-intuitive doesn’t it?  After all you are not receiving the kindness from others but rather you are doing something for nothing!

What Are The Benefits?

The benefits to you of being kind are;

• increase feel-good chemicals in your brain
• a sense of being worthwhile
• a feeling of belonging
• adding meaning to your life
• knowing you made a difference
• help low self-esteem

Why Does It Feel Good?

Have you ever noticed that in a tragedy or natural disaster such as an earthquake or tsunami, people join together and a sense of community and togetherness transpires?  A sense of coming together to look after each other transcends even your most basic needs.  It is because in those moments you are conscious of belonging to something bigger than yourself and you put others and the whole before yourself.  That is when we naturally perform acts of random kindness without selfish thought.

Have you ever had the unfortunate experience of attending a funeral of someone who died seemingly tragically or too young? Yet for a time, maybe a day or two before the funeral until a day or two after, you experience a resolve and togetherness with everyone effected.  It is a somewhat empowering and strong deep-down feeling that is a glimmer of ‘we will be OK, together’.

Examples

Here is a story from a book The Power of Intention by Dr W. Dyer.  It is a story from his daughter Sommer and appears on pages 69-70.

I had an opportunity to extend kindness at the supermarket one day when I had my cart filled to the top with food that my roommate and I would share over the next two weeks.  The woman behind me had an antsy toddler and not nearly as much in her cart as I had.  I said to her, “Why don’t you go first?  You don’t have as much as I do.”  The woman looked at me as if I’d just sprouted extra limbs or something.  She replied, “Thank you so much.  I haven’t seen many people around here be thoughtful of another person. We’ve moved here from Virginia and are considering moving back because we’re questioning whether this is the right place to raise our three children.”  Then she told me that she was about ready to give up and move back home, even thought it would create huge financial strain on her family.  She said, “I’d promised myself if I didn’t see a sign by the end of today, I was going to demand that we move back to Virginia. You are my sign.”

Why Do It?

Acts of random kindness by you, and to a lesser extent received by you, foster and heighten a sense of togetherness.

One of our most basic feelings that drive our actions and thoughts is to belong.  We want to belong to something, anything, it doesn’t matter what we just want to be accepted and together.  When we are at school we want to be part of a group of friends.  We want to be invited to join in.

When you perform random acts of kindness, with absolutely no thought of what is in it for you – that part is crucial – you yourself experience a similar feeling to the belonging, togetherness and resolve that we normally only experience in moments of tragedy.

What Are The Pitfalls?

One warning though; if you go out and practice random acts of kindness, or any kindness, and you know deep down you are doing this to get something in return, this is not kindness by you but rather it is an exchange.  It is a trade between you and them or you and the universe.  You are intending to swap your kindness for some personal selfish benefit.

You might think, ‘if I do this they will be obliged to do something for me.’  Or you might think you are banking karma believing the universe will bring great stuff your way soon in exchange for your kindness.

Acts of random kindness are unique in that they are devoid of any thought of ‘what is in it for me?’  Either you are kind or you are trading, there is nothing in between.  Like everything it is your intention and attitude that provides the benefit to your experience.

During the cleanup of a natural disaster or tragedy your intention and attitude will not be I am doing this because I will get…

You are doing it to help another ‘just because you can’.  This is the recommended attitude you hold as you perform acts of random kindness for your fellow human beings.  It feels good and your life automatically, straight away, suddenly has meaning, just from that one act of kindness.

If ever there was a quick way to help low self-esteem, this is it.  Even if you feel that you have good self-esteem you jump to the next level if you adopt this attitude of being kind to others for no other reason than just because you can.