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Spirituality Archives - Page 3 of 6 - Self-Help, Spirituality & Self-Esteem

Spirituality

Raising Self Esteem, Overcoming Low Self Esteem, Ways To Improve Self Esteem, Raise Your Self Esteem, Boosting Self Esteem

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The Process of Raising Self-Esteem

The process of raising self esteem is simple but not necessarily easy.  Simple in the fact that all it requires is a transformation in consciousness from denial and fear to acceptance and love.

It is not necessarily easy because the belief that you are a separate, completely independent thing is strong and convincing.

One way of raising self esteem is to take your belief that you are a thing and pump up the beliefs about what that thing is like.  In short you change your self image for a better one.

You can attempt to focus on something that you believe to be true about yourself that makes you feel a bit more worthy and acceptable.  By the way, in doing this the parts that you don’t like about yourself don’t actually disappear they just get ignored.

This might seem like a result however it will likely cause greater problems for you at a later date in some way.

Just as if you are repairing or cleaning something and you try and do just enough so that what is immediately visible looks OK, deep down you feel a nagging that you haven’t quite done a proper job.  You know it will have to be faced at a later date.  Or you feel a false sense of achievement that you have got a way with it.  It is like you feel clever for taking the easy way out and achieving your task.

How does it feel when you know you have really done a thorough job and you know your repair will last?  Just like rust in a car or a hole in a sock the section needs to be completely rebuilt and reintegrated into the whole.

So it is with the ego and the Self.  The ego is who and what you think you are.  You might think you are kind and polite and this and that.  Or you might think you are stupid and pathetic and mean and cruel.  Whatever self image you have is your ego.

Your ego is just your idea and becomes the focus of your life.  It is what you then interpret life’s events through.

Just as the rust in the car would attract the eye and the attention and make you miss seeing the car as a whole so to we end up focusing on the self image and miss seeing and feeling the whole experience.  By the whole experience I mean the experience of being part of the whole, connected to all that there is, divine, Self.

The process of raising self esteem is to bit by bit transform your awareness from the ego to the whole.  When you meditate the ego takes a back seat.  When you sit across from another person and feel their energy and really get what they are communicating the ego takes a back seat.  There are many many ways of accomplishing this task of deidentifying with the ego and reidentifying with the whole.

Why does this raise your self esteem?  Because genuine self esteem is a product of your awareness, acceptance and love of the truth.  It is not something you build up and pump up, it is something that comes because you see how futile it is to continue trying to be something or not trying to be something.

Some people try to always be right, some people try never to be rude.  Some people try and be cool, other people try and never be wrong.  This is all ego and genuine self-esteem can never come
through rearranging, pumping up or resisting the ego.

Self-Appreciation

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How You Build Self-Appreciation

Self-appreciation is easily achieved with a shift in the way you think of life. We each have our own unique talents and aptitudes. Some people’s talents are seen on the world stage, many more are only ever seen by one or two.

Here are four ways to see things differently in order to begin the upward cycle of self-appreciation.

1. Drop the comparison with other people’s skills, talents and gifts.

Often we sort of assume by default that everyone is born with same potential and same internal resources and talents. This is obviously not so.

If ever you have done some reading on astrology you will quickly accept that everybody has their own particular make-up of skills, interests and talents. The key is to find out what yours are and use them in a committed way.

2. Discover, own, embrace and express your particular, unique talents.

Some people are natural leaders, some are natural support people, some are great with kids, some bake and their food naturally tastes amazing, some people have deep compassion and caring. The above is just a small sample of the gifts each person could naturally possess. Start a journey to find out exactly what your unique gifts are, then use them, love them and don’t deny the world their expression. Your self-appreciation will then have an opportunity to be felt.

3. Think about yourself as completing some part of the whole.

As I said above some people naturally end up as world leaders, some as world entertainers, yet others as kings and queens. Likewise some people have a natural affinity and talent at making small bracelets that children love and yet others just naturally know how to make people feel comforted, while others write in a way that words flow and leap from the page.

Do you think it is a mistake that you make amazing baking that people love, but others are doing more worthwhile things? What I mean by that is be true to you. If you love baking and feel fulfilled by it then do it and love that talent within. To make this whole world go around we need people of all talents and aptitudes. The secret is to discover what yours are, use them, nourish these talents and use them to help others is some way. This will begin the upward self-appreciation cycle and get you closer to your true self.

4. Have a look at where you naturally spend your time, energy and money.

In order to discover your particular, unique talents have a look at where you already spend your spare time. Some people might say have a look at what you daydream about as an indicator of what your interests might be. This is misleading in my opinion because the imagination and dreaming could be coming from a place of a fantasy or it will be a thought that something would be nice for you to do.

What is more real is what you actually do now. I spend spare time reading and learning about ancient wisdom and related topics. I go to bookstores and libraries if I have a few spare hours and I feel at home and fulfilled doing that. Because I feel that way I do it without guilt or shame or what others might think of it. I don’t compare myself to those who go kite-boarding or surfing when they have spare time. They have different skills and interests.

I could think of very little worse than lugging equipment down to the beach and being out in the water for more than 10 minutes.

Follow your bliss and you will discover your talents, interests and skills. Your inner harmony will become evident and you will experience greater self-appreciation.

Radical Acceptance, Let Go and Let God

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Radical Acceptance Makes You Feel Better

Radical acceptance is a very powerful principle to practice in your life. Great inner peace and contentment comes when you know this way of thinking about life and you may find it a way of boosting self-esteem.

When an event is about to happen or has happened take a moment to first observe the event before you..

  • decide whether they are right or wrong (judge)
  • interpret an event as meaning something about you
    (e.g. he forgot my birthday therefore I am not worthy enough)
  • pretend it has not happened (denial)
  • react to it (anger/rage for example)

Radical acceptance is to first acknowledge how something is in your life.  This doesn’t include your desires, wishes or preferences, it is simply facing the honest truth with impartial self observation and non-judgmental awareness about how things are.

In summary you can practice this and simply let go and let God. This means taking a perspective on life that is more inclusive of reality.  Faith that you are not a separate object in the world needing to be totally in control of everything.

You can know this to be true by acknowledging you didn’t produce what you know to be yourself and you simply need to look at the ocean or stars to see there is a lot you don’t know… and that is fine, in fact encouraged.

You don’t need to control every aspect of your life.  You cannot control other people and events.

If something is going to happen or has happened then instead of acting immediately and unconsciously with one of the four points above, you create some space within which you first of all observe.  Then you have conscious awareness in which to respond and the response will be more empowering and involve greater power than an unconscious reaction.

Psychological Projection, Ego

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Discover Your Psychological Projection

Psychological Projection

What is psychological projection?  Who you think you are; your self-image, ego or id as Sigmund Freud called it is OK with being some things but not OK with being others.  The ego ‘breathes’ by virtue of believing you are an object that is separate from the rest of the world.

In actual fact you are not separate, you are not an object and you are not one particular way.

In order to feel remotely in charge of your life, the ego that you think you are employs a range of strategies and techniques to..

1.  persist the illusion that you are as you think you are

2.  allow you to reduce some of the pain and anxiety

One such strategy is to have you throw a whole lot of assumptions and labels at the people who appear in your awareness.

Pressure at Work

One example that I can give you from first hand experience is feeling that I was coming under pressure from senior people at work.  When I really looked within at the patterns of thoughts I was running and my attitude I could see that I was putting myself under pressure because I had expectations and an aversion to stress.

Yes I needed to work through it but I myself wanted to get it done because;

– I don’t like people waiting for work from me so I rush through it with urgency so I can then feel free again.

– I want people to be happy and impressed with me.

Instead of seeing this clearly and accepting that I myself was creating pressure to get the work done, I projected the source of the pressure onto senior people at work.

Instead of looking deeply within to see the true cause, the self simply finds someone outside of you to attribute the cause.

Assumptions

Next time you are interacting with someone notice how much mind-reading you really do.  What you are doing is assuming you know something about them and about the way they are thinking.  You will be wrong.

Whatever you think is true about their thoughts will be a projection of a thought or attitude that is held by you.

1. Notice you are assuming things about them

2. Be curious about why you are assuming these things

I recall being in a supermarket and a man spilled some peanuts or something similar from the bulk bin dispensers over the floor.  He was obviously embarrassed but he started angrily lecturing me as I walked by saying ‘ everyone makes mistakes, you make mistakes, she makes mistakes…”.

He projected onto me some thought or attitude.  He thought I was thinking he was incompetent or a fool or stupid or something.  In reality I was quite oblivious and couldn’t care and had only compassion and understanding for what had happened.

Once you see that these projections actually originate from within your psyche just notice that it does.  You don’t need to do anything else.

You see the ego cannot play out it’s strategies with the light of your watching on it.  Awareness is transformational.  Bring consciousness to everything you do and everything you feel and everything you think is true about others.  Your ego’s tendency for using psychological projection will drop away leaving you present and calm and loving.

Practice Of Contemplation, Meditation

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Practice
Of Contemplation

To Empower You

A very powerful technique is the practice of contemplation. Some might call it navel gazing but these people probably don’t understand how or why this discipline can change your life. As a child I remember contemplating why I could see the pen on the table.

Contemplation was too big a word for a ten-year-old but I was just curious why could I make the distinction between the pen and the table.

After considering the matter for a while I knew that the light was different between the two objects and that allowed me to see that one thing was not the other. Pretty simple explanation but nevertheless it sort of says enough.

Do you remember doing such things as a child?

Maybe you didn’t acknowledge it but you doing this was engaging in the practice of contemplation. I am sure at some stage you would have wondered why things are the way they are.

The practice of contemplation is to look into a matter to become aware of the way something is, or the why something is.

We generally hold a thing to be something we can pick up, something tangible, a form that two or more people could come to some agreement about its existence. Consider that a thing – a form – is also a thought, a feeling, an experience, and a way of seeing the world.

These ‘things’ are invisible we might say but still they occur.

These things occur in your experience of life and you can objectify them to a greater or lesser degree. By that I mean you can watch them occurring. You can step back, so to speak, and say ‘I am noticing I experience this’. You would do well to consider anything that you can distinguish as a ‘thing’, ‘object’, ‘form’.

I am calling a thing anything that you notice now which wasn’t there once upon a time and won’t be there in the future. That being the case, why is it there now? If it is not fixed, unchanging and absolute then why is it there now? This is fodder for the practice of contemplation. Why is it? Why is it so? Why is it so the way that it is?

Take shame for example. The next time you feel embarrassed, be curious about what you assume to be true to make you feel embarrassed right then. You can do it later if more appropriate but the important point is to notice that it is there now, or was there and it will go in time. So why is it there now? What do you hold to be true in your idea of yourself and the world that causes the shame? We are too passive in our living. We assume that experiences and feelings come pre-packaged. Combined with the ‘it is just the way I am’ naive mentality we end up living a life of self-ignorance and reaction.

I rarely have negative emotions these days. I rarely feel that inner contraction to a noticeable degree. Sure if there is a confrontation or some issue being worked through I might feel some physical sensation but rarely do I notice any real emotion.

For a couple of years I have engaged in the practice of contemplation. Either on the spot or later that evening contemplating anything that happened that day which I reacted to with a feeling. Even the slightest contraction away from another person would see me wonder what I didn’t like about this situation. If I felt fear I wondered what was I afraid of happening. If I felt down or uninspired by work I would contemplate the way I was thinking about life and work. I could then see the cause and effect relationship between my thoughts and my experience.

Once I could see I was creating this unconsciously I could change it consciously and feel better.   Contemplation is powerful, ancient and used by great spiritual leaders and masters the world over.  It can also be used by you.

Mind, Mindfulness

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Mind
– You Use It

Or It Will Use You

Mind is one of those things we assume we know what we are talking about, but we never stop to admit to ourselves we have no idea what it is.

What is it? Where is it? Why should you care?

Well, chances are it is not being used by you but rather has built up a series of reactions and programs to life. Quite ironic because it has been instrumental in creating your life and then you have reactions to it as if life was happening to you from the outside randomly.

It is possible with watching and contemplating to see how your life has drawn to you opportunities to experience what you have imagined for yourself.

Probably the difficult part is seeing and acknowledging what you have imagined for yourself over and over again.

Maybe you have wanted to be a hero, wanted to be feared, not wanted anyone to hurt you, believed money is evil etc. If these imaginings and pretenses have been there without you being aware they are there, then we can say they have been unconscious.

Watching

Just like kids in a class; if you watch them and give tasks and keep them disciplined they will achieve and create. So it is with mind. Without watching and choosing what you wish to create, your mind will run afraid of the big bad world out there.

Now, this can either stay as an unconscious reaction or you can decide to watch your mind create your world and learn to choose ways that serve you better; think about things differently, take a different perspective, take no perspective even, just observe.

For example someone could raise his or her voice at you and you react by feeling small and worthless. Or you could consciously choose to take the perspective that this person has some emotional stuff that is going on inside and you just happen to be the person in front of them now.

You don’t know what childhood they had, you don’t know what fears or phobias this person is carrying around. You don’t know just how little they feel able to cope with the world and their feelings. So given all of that plus a bunch more stuff that could be going on why should you make their raised voice mean anything about you?

They raise their voice because they think themselves and the world are a certain way.

Contemplate

Man Contemplation

Of course if you do feel a reaction then that is great information to then take yourself away somewhere quietly, or that night, contemplate exactly what is it you believe about yourself and the world that caused you to react in such a way.

That reaction is your personality self, your idea of who you are keeping itself alive. If you think of yourself as gentle and never causing anyone any harm then a person with an angry voice in front of you is going to cause you to react in some way.

You might find yourself compelled to apologize just to keep the peace or find you have a lump stuck in your throat and stomach for a couple of days because ‘upsetting’ this person has that much contradicted your self-image.

Whatever it is a careful observation will see that this experience is congruent with your internal beliefs and focus. To change you need to simply see this is the case and not allow these thoughts to continue.

Be careful what you say to yourself and others also. How do you act? Do you act as if people are scary? Continue to observe your world and know that mind will either be mostly

  • uncontrolled and running without your conscious
    awareness
  • controlled and chosen by you how to behave and what to
    create in your experience
  • controlled by some other power, e.g. media, society,
    collective consciousness, a cult leader, someone you put on a pedestal
    etc.

Perspective

A change in your perspective, a change in your view of who you are and what is ‘real’ out there will open up options for you. You will be free to create a life you wish, and to think with such clarity and focus that whatever you desire consciously will be more likely to be given to you.

It is a step-by-step process to learn how you operate, what you are and then display mastery of your experience. Day by day decide what you choose, focus and know it is real for you, have faith, stop any thoughts which contradict your desires (including wanting because wanting will give you more wanting, trying will give you more trying) and see how your mind creates situations for you to then experience with your body, that which you held to be true.

Mayan 2012, Carl Calleman

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Mayan 2012

Dr. Carl Calleman has specialised in researching the Mayan 2012 wisdom.  For anyone that does not know the Mayan calendar allegedly predicted a significant event on December 21, 2012.

Below is a movie that I watched recently which explains what this prediction might really be about.  For anyone who has noticed within themselves a shift in what you think is true, or a shift in what you are interested in, or a shift in the attitude and perspectives you take on the events that happen within your life and the world, then this movie will help explain what we as conscious beings might be going through.

Instead of focusing on Mayan 2012, Dr Carl Calleman explains that the Mayan wisdom it is really about the few short weeks left leading up to 28 October 2011 which might see dramatic and unexplainable change; unexplainable from a purely rational, scientific perspective.

Warning, there is some scare mongering within the movie.  I do not mean to suggest that it has been done for effect or to create panic, but just to be vigilant within your own thoughts to not let all that is said become what you believe is going to happen.

Overall, the moral of the movie is the same message that any spiritual teacher over endless time as said.  That is, have awareness of your heart and intuition, and you cannot be too humble, do not hold the perspective that your successes are because you are so great – because there might not actually be a separate ‘you’ – everything you have and are is because of the creator, in other words.  Likewise, when natural or personal disaster strikes, take a breath, remember there is a lot more going on with the divine plan that you know.

Don’t take it personally, don’t call it ‘bad’, just stay present and deal with whatever needs taking care of in the present moment with small adjustments to your environment.

Enjoy the movie all about Mayan 2012, The Quickening.

The Quickening from keith wyatt on Vimeo.

Marianne Williamson Quotes, Spiritual Quotes, Words of Spiritual Encouragement, Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence

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Wise Marianne
Williamson Quotes

Below are a selection of Marianne Williamson quotes to provide words of spiritual encouragement.

These spiritual quotes are provided here to help paint the picture of what this website is about when I refer to higher self-esteem and self-confidence.

The spiritual meaning of every situation: not what happens to us but what we do with what happens to us and who we decide to become because of what happens to us.

To achieve a miraculous experience of life, we must embrace a more spiritual perspective. Otherwise, we will die one day without ever having known the real joy of living.

As the mind is permeated by the realization of the awesome power that lies within us, and as we allow ourselves to embrace the principles of higher awareness, the ego in time takes a back-seat to higher truth. It cannot stand before a mind that has begun to awaken to its true reality.

I have learned, when in my life has been most painful, that the me who can be hurt is not the real me.

Is not an insult an opportunity for me to look at that part of myself that can be insulted and say “Ha, you’re not even really me”?

You’re not better than anyone esle, but neither are you worse than anyone else. All of us have special gifts, all of us are born to shine in one way or another.

The goal of spiritual practice is full recovery, and the only thing you need to recover from is a fractured sense of self.

Spiritual progress is like detoxification. Things have to come up in order to be released. Once we have asked to be healed, then our unhealed places are forced to the surface.

Do you prefer to be right or happy?

Living In Gratitude, Having An Attitude of Gratitude

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Living in Gratitude Makes

You Feel Better

Living in gratitude for your fate as it appears now is a powerful way to transform your life and shift the perspective that has been holding you back.

Here are my top four ways on how to develop gratitude.

1. Link values

The secret to getting along with yourself and others is to notice that humans will only ever do things because it is important to them on some scale. Knowing this, when you seek to understand what your most important values are you begin to understand your actions and reactions.

Likewise you can seek to understand what is important to someone else and therefore understand where their actions and reactions are coming from. Then notice how what is important to them allows you to do and be what is important to you. This will help your appreciation and thankfulness of others a bit more than you have been.

2. Hold a more sacred/divine perspective

The truth is we each don’t know how the universe works or the secrets to why we are here or how we got here. It is a mystery to us but as we grow in consciousness we get an inkling that things mustn’t be a mistake. In difficult circumstances you can always hold it that this is a test or a right of passage or some exercise in preparing you for something grander, which it will be.

3. See the opportunity to be of service to another

Being of service to others is its own reward. When you look at what work is, it is providing service to others. Having the opportunity and ability to be of service to others is something to appreciate and be grateful for. Out of all the billions of people in the world, or millions in your country or thousands in your area of town, you have the opportunity to help that certain someone. I recall a quote that was powerful for me when I heard it and it is simply ‘Help those who would dream of being where you are now’

4. Use every event to help you discover more about yourself

No matter what the conditions are that you have your attention upon it can be used to help you discover more about yourself. If you are a serious student and am naturally curious about the nature of mind and being, then you can contemplate why you feel or do things the way you do. If you find yourself reacting automatically to situations you can contemplate what you are making the condition mean about you.

Two people could experience the same condition yet their reactions will be different depending on their self-image. Remember the self-image is just a mental construct that has been created withing your imagination. It has no substance in existential reality and so you would do well to leave it behind. To do this you have to be prepared to be everything and anything without resistance or attachment. Then you will find you are living in gratitude.

The secret to personal and spiritual growth and the secret to living in gratitude is to let go of wanting to change the conditions of your life in this moment.

Instead generate gratitude, appreciation and thankfulness for this moment no matter what it brings. If you don’t feel these in a moment have a look at how you are thinking about life and swap to another perspective such as one of the ones above and you will find you have much more control over whether or not you are living in gratitude.