The Importance of Being Honest, Spiritual Growth, Telling The Truth

admin Self-Esteem, Self-Help, Spirituality March 18, 2012April 13, 2012honesty, personal responsibility, spiritual growth, truth 0 Comment

The Importance Of Being Honest

The importance of being honest cannot be over-stated. Being grateful is a very powerful spiritual growth attitude but wise people also know being honest is extremely powerful.

It is extraordinary how much we lie. Being honest and displaying honesty is something that we somehow hold as scary. We lie to others and to ourselves.

We don’t always set out and plan this but if you investigated and watched your-self you will see you hardly ever tell it like it is for you.

Why are you afraid to let others know what is there for you? Why is it scary to admit, even to yourself, the truth of your experience?

Here is a short video of Peter Ralston talking about the importance of being honest.

We hold it that some things are acceptable and some are not. We split the world into two sections and are OK about revealing an idea, emotion, belief or desire that we are fairly confident will be agreed with or acceptable.

However, when it comes to being honest about something that is in our experience that may bring shame or isolation, we quickly make that not OK.

All this to uphold the persona and image you mistakenly believe you are and most importantly keep that image loved or try to ensure you are loved.

You learned to withhold honesty and it carries on today. The importance of being honest is not obvious. What do you think that does to your sense of self and being OK knowing deep down that you have to lie?

Enlightenment Intensive

Charles Berner created the Enlightenment Intensive, which has been successful and popular since the 1960’s amongst people seeking a direct experience of their true nature.

His technique is a retreat, typically three days where the majority of waking hours are sat opposite another person, communicating to them the honest truth of what is there for you now in this moment.

It is a rare chance to communicate what is there for you, now, in this moment, arising in your awareness. This is powerful.

It is powerful because for one it is a safe and validating experience. The partner is not to give feedback, no nods or utterances or facial gestures, just plain listening and being present for the one speaking.

John Powell in his book Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am? says ‘Honesty about our emotions, understanding of the roles we adopt to defend the fragile ego, recognition of the games we play with each
other to avoid love – these are the first steps towards a new and richer life.’

The importance of being honest is because through honesty you become more integrated and accepting of yourself. Then, depending on your level of commitment and desire to know the truth, through contemplation
and meditation it can lead you to some profound realizations about the nature of being human.

John Powell again ‘I am afraid to tell you who I am because, if I do, you may not like me.’

Be honest primarily with yourself.

A powerful first step is to resolve to understand yourself and the roles, games and manipulations you employ to keep others liking you.

Even when you do these manipulations, do them with full impartial awareness. Watch yourself do them and just notice. Then at least you are realizing the importance of being honest with your-self.

Don’t put extra guilt and shame on top, just watch like a scientist observing the way your world works.

Bring ever-increasing awareness and honesty to your life and practice being honest.

It all starts with honesty, perhaps even before this is admitting responsibility for everything in your experience of life.

However, being honest and telling the truth as much as possible, no matter the discomfort or how it makes you temporarily feel, will start transforming your life rapidly. Then whenever you are not honest you will remember the importance of being honest.

Strength Quotes, Integrity Quotes, Honesty Quotes

admin Inspirational, Self-Help March 18, 2012March 3, 2020honesty, quotes, strength, truth 1 Comment

Strength Quotes

And Quotes About Honesty

Here is a list of strength quotes to remind you of the strength and power that comes from being true to yourself and honest with others.

There is no reason to be ashamed of what you want or what is important to you. The world wants your truth. You are as you are and I hope that these strength quotes remind you that really the only thing worth being in life is integral with your inner guidance and conscience.

If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters. Alan Simpson.

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the Truth. Benjamin Disraeli.

A half Truth is a whole lie. Yiddish Proverb.

Strength is a matter of a made up mind. John Beecher.

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. Josh Billings.

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde.

When in doubt, tell the Truth. Mark Twain.

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength. August Wilson.

Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength. Ralph Sockman.

With lies you may get ahead in the world, but you can never go back. Russian proverb.

It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more ‘manhood’ to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind. Alex Karras.
There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience. French Proverb.

The Truth is more important than the facts. Frank Lloyd Wright.

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. Thomas Jefferson.

Truth and Honesty is the oldest and most powerful of all of the human values. Gary King.

Respect for the Truth is an acquired taste. Mark Van Doren.

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. Mahatma Gandhi.

Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value. Albert Einstein.

What you get in your life is not a result of what you want, it is a result of Who You Are. Marlon Smith.

To thine own self be true. William Shakespeare.

To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves. Will Durant.

Personal Responsibility For Your Life

admin Self-Help March 13, 2012April 14, 2012honesty, personal growth, personal responsibility 0 Comment

Personal
Responsibility For Your Life

Personal responsibility for your life and what you experience is critical.

It is one of life’s paradoxes that we think if we don’t take responsibility, and blame others instead, we will feel better or suffer less.

It certainly seems like the world happens on its own and affects you in random ways. Every reaction, emotion and feeling you experience is yours. Many people don’t realize that when you don’t like someone it is not what they are doing or who they are, it is all coming from you.

In a reaction to someone you don’t like it is you unconsciously deciding what should be different about him or her or the situation (but secretly you are reacting to that trait within yourself).

Remember we are not judging these reactions as right or wrong. This can take much work to watch and really be honest with yourself, but this is what it takes to have personal responsibility for your life. The reactions will still happen even when you know it is coming from within.

However, once you know and can own this fact, you are empowered to consciously stop doing anything that hurts you or doesn’t feel so good. Until such time as you let go of wanting the world, others or yourself to be different you will still have these reactions.

The first step in having personal responsibility for your life is to be conscious of what is happening. Imagine a time when your foot has ‘fallen asleep’ as we say. You know your foot is full of pins and needles because you are sitting on it. You understand the cause and the reaction. What if you were so unaware that you had not yet put the two together?

To blame it on outside forces as if you are a help-less victim is the opposite of taking personal responsibility for your life.

Chocolate Story

I recall a story told to me years ago when I was a teenager. It is a true story told to me to explain food allergies. Every Sunday morning a woman would wake up with a headache. This went on for years and of course she sought treatment from doctors and various therapies. Things got so bad and intolerable for her that she was ready to commit herself to a mental health institution. Luckily someone was aware enough to ask her what she ate or did differently Saturday evening.

Her husband had a little ritual whereby he would walk to the local store Saturday evening and purchase three things; the newspaper, some milk and a bar of chocolate. That evening they would share the chocolate bar. Of course being intolerant or allergic to chocolate she would be a mess by Sunday morning. Not surprisingly once she became aware of this the following Saturday she took personal responsibility for her life and consciously chose to not eat the chocolate. The pain didn’t come.

How does this relate to helping yourself or having a more peaceful life? Any reaction you have, any feeling or thought comes from you, end of story. It is caused by you and the outside world simply reflects an aspect of your inside world. The outside is a reflection of you. This includes all events and relationships and experiences.

Personal Example

Recently I have been in a situation twice (both within the same week which gives me a big clue as to what I am to learn about myself at that point in time) where I have done something for the benefit of others. Not surprisingly when the others haven’t reacted with total appreciation and showered me with specialness in the way I imagined, I have felt hurt. With the hurt comes resentment and a contraction away from these people.

However, thankfully I am aware enough to own that I completely and utterly created this situation all on my own. I take personal responsibility for my life and these people don’t owe me any feelings. The solution? See clearly that I created the whole thing, and then the hurt isn’t generated.

Through owning what I did I released attachment to those outcomes and no longer have hurt or resentment. I take personal responsibility for my life and what I alone experience.

If you are resenting someone have a look and see what the generator of the resentment is. In your mind have you sacrificed something for someone, then felt unappreciated and so now you resent them?

You either take 100% personal responsibility for your life or you are the victim. Whichever one you choose will determine the amount of suffering or peace you experience. Simply by having that attitude you will already be creating more peace in your life.

As Ken Wilber says; it’s like if you had a sore arm and then one day looked down and realized you were pinching your arm. So too if an area of your life is not working you can look at your thoughts, values, desires, self-image and see the way you create your emotional and feeling states.

To be the victim by definition means you hold it that the outside world happens on its own and affects you in random unprovoked ways. If this is what you hold to be true no wonder you feel fearful, scared, isolated, depressed, despairing and alone in a big world.

To take personal responsibility for your life, which includes material possessions and relationships as well as your emotions, is to immediately in that moment progress your growth and enjoyment of life. Being a victim causes you to suffer. Taking personal responsibility for your life still brings feelings but the feelings become feedback instead of suffering.