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Self-Help Archives - Page 5 of 10 - Self-Help, Spirituality & Self-Esteem

Self-Help

Poseidon God of the Sea, Archetypes And Myths, Unconscious Personality

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Poseidon
God Of The Sea

Poseidon God of the sea is the archetype covering the domain of emotion and instinct. With Poseidon active you will feel emotion intensely and that will give you plenty to work with to transform.

The word archetype describes what Carl Jung identified as patterns of behaving that arise from the collective unconscious of humankind. The pattern of being is not unique to an individual; it is available to manifest in each of us because we each reflect a part of the whole.

To recognize Poseidon active within your life look
for…

  • Bottling up strong emotions instead of instantaneous
    expression
  • Feeling strongly
  • Uncontrollable rage
  • A poor loser
  • Not comfortable in the world of school and intellectual
    realms
  • Operates day-to-day from a feeling and instinctual base
    rather than logic and planning

Possible drawbacks to living the Poseidon archetype…

  • Can be viewed as emotionally unstable or inappropriate
  • For men can feel alienated as emotions are not
    traditionally accepted within men
  • low self-esteem for not being allowed to be himself by
    society (lack of acceptance)

This information has been summarized from the book Gods in Everyman by Jean Shinoda Bolen.

If you recognize your patterns of acting and being in the world from the above list and are curious about what you can do to change, then first and foremost use this information as proof that you are not different, defective or a victim of your past programming.

The above shows the commonality in the human experience when certain innate energies are active. As such begin by accepting that you do indeed own these particular traits and let it be OK that you do.

This will slightly raise your self-esteem and self-acceptance for each trait you own.   If you would like some guidance or clarification, please contact me, I would love to help.

Pisces Moon Sign, Pisces Traits, Astrological Moon Signs

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If You Are A Pisces
Moon Sign

A pisces moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Sensitive

– Intuitive

– Probably psychic

– Likes change

– Dislikes routine

– Shy

– Easy going

– Creative ideas

– Romantic ideals

– Compassionate

– Easily amused

– Easily misunderstood as dreamy but in reality deep thinkers

– Empathic

– Can understand things not yet experienced

– Curious

– Not overly attached to material possessions

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the pisces traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

Personal Responsibility For Your Life

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Personal
Responsibility For Your Life

Personal responsibility for your life and what you experience is critical.

It is one of life’s paradoxes that we think if we don’t take responsibility, and blame others instead, we will feel better or suffer less.

It certainly seems like the world happens on its own and affects you in random ways. Every reaction, emotion and feeling you experience is yours. Many people don’t realize that when you don’t like someone it is not what they are doing or who they are, it is all coming from you.

In a reaction to someone you don’t like it is you unconsciously deciding what should be different about him or her or the situation (but secretly you are reacting to that trait within yourself).

Remember we are not judging these reactions as right or wrong.  This can take much work to watch and really be honest with yourself, but this is what it takes to have personal responsibility for your life. The reactions will still happen even when you know it is coming from within.

However, once you know and can own this fact, you are empowered to consciously stop doing anything that hurts you or doesn’t feel so good. Until such time as you let go of wanting the world, others or yourself to be different you will still have these reactions.

The first step in having personal responsibility for your life is to be conscious of what is happening. Imagine a time when your foot has ‘fallen asleep’ as we say. You know your foot is full of pins and needles because you are sitting on it. You understand the cause and the reaction. What if you were so unaware that you had not yet put the two together?

To blame it on outside forces as if you are a help-less victim is the opposite of taking personal responsibility for your life.

Chocolate Story

I recall a story told to me years ago when I was a teenager. It is a true story told to me to explain food allergies. Every Sunday morning a woman would wake up with a headache. This went on for years and of course she sought treatment from doctors and various therapies. Things got so bad and intolerable for her that she was ready to commit herself to a mental health institution. Luckily someone was aware enough to ask her what she ate or did differently Saturday evening.

Her husband had a little ritual whereby he would walk to the local store Saturday evening and purchase three things; the newspaper, some milk and a bar of chocolate. That evening they would share the chocolate bar. Of course being intolerant or allergic to chocolate she would be a mess by Sunday morning. Not surprisingly once she became aware of this the following Saturday she took personal responsibility for her life and consciously chose to not eat the chocolate. The pain didn’t come.

How does this relate to helping yourself or having a more peaceful life? Any reaction you have, any feeling or thought comes from you, end of story. It is caused by you and the outside world simply reflects an aspect of your inside world. The outside is a reflection of you. This includes all events and relationships and experiences.

Personal Example

Recently I have been in a situation twice (both within the same week which gives me a big clue as to what I am to learn about myself at that point in time) where I have done something for the benefit of others. Not surprisingly when the others haven’t reacted with total appreciation and showered me with specialness in the way I imagined, I have felt hurt. With the hurt comes resentment and a contraction away from these people.

However, thankfully I am aware enough to own that I completely and utterly created this situation all on my own. I take personal responsibility for my life and these people don’t owe me any feelings. The solution? See clearly that I created the whole thing, and then the hurt isn’t generated.

Through owning what I did I released attachment to those outcomes and no longer have hurt or resentment. I take personal responsibility for my life and what I alone experience.

If you are resenting someone have a look and see what the generator of the resentment is. In your mind have you sacrificed something for someone, then felt unappreciated and so now you resent them?

You either take 100% personal responsibility for your life or you are the victim. Whichever one you choose will determine the amount of suffering or peace you experience. Simply by having that attitude you will already be creating more peace in your life.

As Ken Wilber says; it’s like if you had a sore arm and then one day looked down and realized you were pinching your arm. So too if an area of your life is not working you can look at your thoughts, values, desires, self-image and see the way you create your emotional and feeling states.

To be the victim by definition means you hold it that the outside world happens on its own and affects you in random unprovoked ways. If this is what you hold to be true no wonder you feel fearful, scared, isolated, depressed, despairing and alone in a big world.

To take personal responsibility for your life, which includes material possessions and relationships as well as your emotions, is to immediately in that moment progress your growth and enjoyment of life. Being a victim causes you to suffer. Taking personal responsibility for your life still brings feelings but the feelings become feedback instead of suffering.

Mind, Mindfulness

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Mind
– You Use It

Or It Will Use You

Mind is one of those things we assume we know what we are talking about, but we never stop to admit to ourselves we have no idea what it is.

What is it? Where is it? Why should you care?

Well, chances are it is not being used by you but rather has built up a series of reactions and programs to life. Quite ironic because it has been instrumental in creating your life and then you have reactions to it as if life was happening to you from the outside randomly.

It is possible with watching and contemplating to see how your life has drawn to you opportunities to experience what you have imagined for yourself.

Probably the difficult part is seeing and acknowledging what you have imagined for yourself over and over again.

Maybe you have wanted to be a hero, wanted to be feared, not wanted anyone to hurt you, believed money is evil etc. If these imaginings and pretenses have been there without you being aware they are there, then we can say they have been unconscious.

Watching

Just like kids in a class; if you watch them and give tasks and keep them disciplined they will achieve and create. So it is with mind. Without watching and choosing what you wish to create, your mind will run afraid of the big bad world out there.

Now, this can either stay as an unconscious reaction or you can decide to watch your mind create your world and learn to choose ways that serve you better; think about things differently, take a different perspective, take no perspective even, just observe.

For example someone could raise his or her voice at you and you react by feeling small and worthless. Or you could consciously choose to take the perspective that this person has some emotional stuff that is going on inside and you just happen to be the person in front of them now.

You don’t know what childhood they had, you don’t know what fears or phobias this person is carrying around. You don’t know just how little they feel able to cope with the world and their feelings. So given all of that plus a bunch more stuff that could be going on why should you make their raised voice mean anything about you?

They raise their voice because they think themselves and the world are a certain way.

Contemplate

Man Contemplation

Of course if you do feel a reaction then that is great information to then take yourself away somewhere quietly, or that night, contemplate exactly what is it you believe about yourself and the world that caused you to react in such a way.

That reaction is your personality self, your idea of who you are keeping itself alive. If you think of yourself as gentle and never causing anyone any harm then a person with an angry voice in front of you is going to cause you to react in some way.

You might find yourself compelled to apologize just to keep the peace or find you have a lump stuck in your throat and stomach for a couple of days because ‘upsetting’ this person has that much contradicted your self-image.

Whatever it is a careful observation will see that this experience is congruent with your internal beliefs and focus. To change you need to simply see this is the case and not allow these thoughts to continue.

Be careful what you say to yourself and others also. How do you act? Do you act as if people are scary? Continue to observe your world and know that mind will either be mostly

  • uncontrolled and running without your conscious
    awareness
  • controlled and chosen by you how to behave and what to
    create in your experience
  • controlled by some other power, e.g. media, society,
    collective consciousness, a cult leader, someone you put on a pedestal
    etc.

Perspective

A change in your perspective, a change in your view of who you are and what is ‘real’ out there will open up options for you. You will be free to create a life you wish, and to think with such clarity and focus that whatever you desire consciously will be more likely to be given to you.

It is a step-by-step process to learn how you operate, what you are and then display mastery of your experience. Day by day decide what you choose, focus and know it is real for you, have faith, stop any thoughts which contradict your desires (including wanting because wanting will give you more wanting, trying will give you more trying) and see how your mind creates situations for you to then experience with your body, that which you held to be true.

Living In Gratitude, Having An Attitude of Gratitude

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Living in Gratitude Makes

You Feel Better

Living in gratitude for your fate as it appears now is a powerful way to transform your life and shift the perspective that has been holding you back.

Here are my top four ways on how to develop gratitude.

1. Link values

The secret to getting along with yourself and others is to notice that humans will only ever do things because it is important to them on some scale. Knowing this, when you seek to understand what your most important values are you begin to understand your actions and reactions.

Likewise you can seek to understand what is important to someone else and therefore understand where their actions and reactions are coming from. Then notice how what is important to them allows you to do and be what is important to you. This will help your appreciation and thankfulness of others a bit more than you have been.

2. Hold a more sacred/divine perspective

The truth is we each don’t know how the universe works or the secrets to why we are here or how we got here. It is a mystery to us but as we grow in consciousness we get an inkling that things mustn’t be a mistake. In difficult circumstances you can always hold it that this is a test or a right of passage or some exercise in preparing you for something grander, which it will be.

3. See the opportunity to be of service to another

Being of service to others is its own reward. When you look at what work is, it is providing service to others. Having the opportunity and ability to be of service to others is something to appreciate and be grateful for. Out of all the billions of people in the world, or millions in your country or thousands in your area of town, you have the opportunity to help that certain someone. I recall a quote that was powerful for me when I heard it and it is simply ‘Help those who would dream of being where you are now’

4. Use every event to help you discover more about yourself

No matter what the conditions are that you have your attention upon it can be used to help you discover more about yourself. If you are a serious student and am naturally curious about the nature of mind and being, then you can contemplate why you feel or do things the way you do. If you find yourself reacting automatically to situations you can contemplate what you are making the condition mean about you.

Two people could experience the same condition yet their reactions will be different depending on their self-image. Remember the self-image is just a mental construct that has been created withing your imagination. It has no substance in existential reality and so you would do well to leave it behind. To do this you have to be prepared to be everything and anything without resistance or attachment. Then you will find you are living in gratitude.

The secret to personal and spiritual growth and the secret to living in gratitude is to let go of wanting to change the conditions of your life in this moment.

Instead generate gratitude, appreciation and thankfulness for this moment no matter what it brings. If you don’t feel these in a moment have a look at how you are thinking about life and swap to another perspective such as one of the ones above and you will find you have much more control over whether or not you are living in gratitude.

List of Personality Traits, Acceptance or Denial of Traits

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List
Of Personality Traits

To Help You

Below is a list of personality traits and an explanation of why it is important to accept all the possible traits of a human being.

good or evil girl over a white background with an angel on one side and a devil on the other

One exercise that I have found extremely personally empowering is accepting and embracing yourself and your interpretation of yourself in every moment.

Denial of what you are actually experiencing creates suffering and contributes to low self-esteem.

Further below I will tell you how I discovered what I was denying and a simple and quick exercise to reach acceptance.

With each acceptance, old nagging worries and bits of suffering drops away and you are left me more peaceful and with higher self-esteem.

That isn’t saying there isn’t any pain, hurt or discomfort to be experienced in your life. These things are inevitable and a fact of life but suffering is something different to pain.  The distinction we are making is the extra suffering that you experience when your mind tells you ‘this shouldn’t be happening’ or ‘I shouldn’t be like this’.

In 2006 Debbie Ford’s book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers caught my eye on the library shelf.  I read it and didn’t do much with it. Twelve months later I got it out again and this time it meant so much more.  Of course reading is one thing and won’t bring change you have to change something about your experience in order to get change.  There has to a shift in attitude or the way you think about things.

Reading just adds more mind stuff to your long list of things you know.  When it comes to personal growth and overcoming low self-esteem there has to be a shift from within.

It’s into this inner-world you must delve and shine a spotlight.  Shining this light of awareness into the places that haven’t been seen= for a long time.

Shadow-Work

All human beings have displayed every trait, or they do display them regularly or could display them given they found themselves in a certain predicament.  Blame it on the human condition.

If you can stop judging anything you do or are as bad and move to acceptance, you are moving in an empowering direction.

To transform you need to have a shift in attitude from disliking some things in yourself and liking others, to accepting ALL things.

Murderer

So an extreme one to start with is to accept that you are a murderer.  For starters see how quick and strong the denial from your own mind is.  Secondly, consider a situation where you are put in a position where it is either you kill them or they kill you, or they kill your child. Can you accept that you are a murderer now after considering that? Of course it doesn’t make you a murderer in the outside world but still you have to accept that you have that potential trait within your experience and add that to your list of personality traits.

After coming to this realization I somewhat obsessively spent one month trawling through books writing down a list of personality traits.  I wrote down every adjective describing a human being and I worked to own, accept and embrace that each one has been or could be in my experience.

As you will come to realize the best teacher is your experience.  Continue to watch your thoughts and feelings from a place of non-judgmental awareness.  Whenever you have a contracted, closed, irritated or frustrated feeling with another or yourself, contemplate what the trait is. What is the word you would use to describe that person you are reacting to?

Add that to your list of personality traits.

From there I would use a hash of a couple of different techniques, which boiled down to

1. Get into a light relaxed state

2. Imagine myself walking into a lift

3. Turn and face the doors and see a whole lot of buttons

4. See the button that is clearly labeled the trait

5. See and feel myself reach out and touch the button

6. See the doors close and feel the lift go down until the doors open
automatically at a memory of when I displayed the trait

7. Accept the fact of that trait showing up in my experience

8. if I still felt resistance or through the use of a pendulum and ideomotor questioning I found residual denial of that trait I would redo the exercise.

If still no acceptance – which was very rare – I would use EFT (Emotional freedom Technique) for one or two rounds.

I collated a list of personality traits that totaled about 1,000; here are some you might want to try.

Aggressive

Angry

Arrogant

Complainer

Condescending

Controlling

Dependent

Helpless

Intimidating

When you collate a list of personality traits you do the exercise, accept it within, experience more peace and less judgment.

List of Archetypes, Carolyn Myss, Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence, Spiritual

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List
of Archetypes To Help You

A list of archetypes will help you recognize your own particular tendencies and way of being.

Carolyn Myss’ books and products are recommended and so is Carol Pearson along with Jean Shinoda Bolen.

What is an archetype?

It is very important for your self-acceptance and self-esteem to understand this. Carl Jung created the term Collective Unconscious. This refers to the tendencies, predispositions, natural inclinations and way of thinking about your self and the world.

You could say these tendencies are natural and arise within you despite the cultural programming of what is good, acceptable and OK.

For example…

Is the energy and pattern that manifests as wanting power above all else. Usually found most obviously in men and Fathers who rule at home or at work with a strong belief that their way is right. For the person with an activated Zeus pattern there is no room for others to be different or have different interests and motivations than him (typically male but also can appear in women as well).

Differing to Zeus pattern in that the extent of the drive to reach the top is less strong in Apollo.
If Zeus is the King then someone with Apollo active would be a good man/woman to have beside him. Seeking approval and wanting to impress those with higher authority (or at least not let them down) he/she will support and work well in a team and be loyal.

The Hades archetype when active makes the person battle within himself to be true to himself which includes recoiling from the world into his/her reclusive inner subjective world and at the same time exist in the world that openly values and rewards the Zeus’ of this world. This archetype is one of non-conformity to what is splashed all over the televisions, magazines and movies. To Hades it seems a foreign world with all that shallowness running around trying to accumulate external things.

This archetypal pattern is the realm of instinct, emotion and feeling. While a Zeus man wouldn’t acknowledge or honor an emotion quite the opposite is true for our Poseidon activated archetype. This is the pattern of living in touch with what is felt in the body. Zeus lives in the head and plans, strives and seeks external. Poseidon however is the emotional one. Again another archetype who for men is not valued in our Western society. This archetype will find it difficult to fit in and feel fulfilled in traditional roles for men. If pushed to become a lawyer for example by a Zeus father his world will be devoid of color and taste.

This archetype when activated shows up in someone who is very much introverted and withdrawn from the outside world. Retreating to the inner world of their thoughts and creativity they are most comfortable working and creating. Especially if they have found their life’s work it will be difficult for the Hephaestus man or woman to think or do anything else. Social skills and communication don’t come naturally and this person becomes somewhat of a loner unless other archetypes develop. This is the strong, silent type who doesn’t let others know what is going on with them, nor wear their heart on their sleeve.

The Ares archetype is ruled by the here and now spontaneous reaction to feeling and impulse in the body. Ruled by the physical world he/she inhabits, very little thought or planning goes into actions. Spontaneous with the powerful characteristics that we normally associate with masculinity. A warrior and a taste for battle, able to fight and protect but perhaps struggles in other ways.

The activate Hermes archetype shows up as a smooth talking, adventurer of the world, always on the go and is able to connect quickly with new friends. Intuitively and instinctively he knows how to deceive and persuade others to do what he wishes and let them feel it was their idea. He does things his own way and has the confidence and mental agility to approach anything with confidence. Think salesman with the gift of the gab who has a girl in every port but also many male friends because he his also a man’s man.

The active Dionysus archetype shows up in life in varied and extreme ways. It is the pattern, in men especially, of not being interested in the external world of achievement, sports and what society typically values. The Dionysus archetype approaches life from a deeply internal perspective and ordinary events are valued for the experience and not the achievement. For example cooking to experience the smells and tastes and not just to satisfy hunger.

Libra Moon Sign, Libra Traits, Astrological Moon Signs

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If You Are A Libra
Moon Sign

A libra moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Conflict avoidance

– Good co-ordinator

– Gentle

– Peace loving

– Sociable

– Affectionate

– Generous

– Diplomatic

– Charming

– Peacemaker

– Sympathetic

– Dislikes solitude

– Indecisive

– Flexible

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the libra traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

Leo Moon Sign, Leo Traits, Astrological Moon Signs

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If You Are A Leo
Moon Sign

A leo moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Organized

– Entertaining

– Likes being centre of attention

– Direct with requests

– An air of authority

– Dramatic

– Sulky

– Vain

– Snobbish

– Generous

– Egoic

– Stubborn

– Don’t take advice easily

– Materialistic

– Leader

– Proud

– Courageous

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the leo traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

Jason McElwain Basketball Video

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Jason McElwain Basketball Video

This Jason McElwain basketball video is a touching and spine tingling amateur video  of one of those unique moments in sport and life.

Jason, who is autistic, made national news in 2006 when he played four minutes for his high school basketball team, which was the first time he ever made it onto the court.  He scored 20 points and the crowd went wild and stormed onto the court in celebration at the end of the
game.

It is definitely worth watching and causes a reaction deep within many people.

A book has been written and a movie deal has been signed.  Jason
McElwain’s basketball video captured the attention and moved emotion of
a great deal of people all around the world.