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Self-Help Archives - Page 4 of 10 - Self-Help, Spirituality & Self-Esteem

Self-Help

Sagittarius Moon Sign, Sagittarius Traits, Astrological Moon Signs

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If You Are A Sagittarius
Moon Sign

A sagittarius moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Sharp mind

– Quick thinking

– Spontaneous

– Loves freedom

– Optimistic

– Kind

– Gentle

– Likes using intellect

– Love outdoors

– Lacking diplomacy

– Good natured

– Kind

– Honest

– Quick temper

– Quick to forgive

– Overwhelming desire for movement

– Adaptable

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the sagittarius traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

Self-Appreciation

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How You Build Self-Appreciation

Self-appreciation is easily achieved with a shift in the way you think of life. We each have our own unique talents and aptitudes. Some people’s talents are seen on the world stage, many more are only ever seen by one or two.

Here are four ways to see things differently in order to begin the upward cycle of self-appreciation.

1. Drop the comparison with other people’s skills, talents and gifts.

Often we sort of assume by default that everyone is born with same potential and same internal resources and talents. This is obviously not so.

If ever you have done some reading on astrology you will quickly accept that everybody has their own particular make-up of skills, interests and talents. The key is to find out what yours are and use them in a committed way.

2. Discover, own, embrace and express your particular, unique talents.

Some people are natural leaders, some are natural support people, some are great with kids, some bake and their food naturally tastes amazing, some people have deep compassion and caring. The above is just a small sample of the gifts each person could naturally possess. Start a journey to find out exactly what your unique gifts are, then use them, love them and don’t deny the world their expression. Your self-appreciation will then have an opportunity to be felt.

3. Think about yourself as completing some part of the whole.

As I said above some people naturally end up as world leaders, some as world entertainers, yet others as kings and queens. Likewise some people have a natural affinity and talent at making small bracelets that children love and yet others just naturally know how to make people feel comforted, while others write in a way that words flow and leap from the page.

Do you think it is a mistake that you make amazing baking that people love, but others are doing more worthwhile things? What I mean by that is be true to you. If you love baking and feel fulfilled by it then do it and love that talent within. To make this whole world go around we need people of all talents and aptitudes. The secret is to discover what yours are, use them, nourish these talents and use them to help others is some way. This will begin the upward self-appreciation cycle and get you closer to your true self.

4. Have a look at where you naturally spend your time, energy and money.

In order to discover your particular, unique talents have a look at where you already spend your spare time. Some people might say have a look at what you daydream about as an indicator of what your interests might be. This is misleading in my opinion because the imagination and dreaming could be coming from a place of a fantasy or it will be a thought that something would be nice for you to do.

What is more real is what you actually do now. I spend spare time reading and learning about ancient wisdom and related topics. I go to bookstores and libraries if I have a few spare hours and I feel at home and fulfilled doing that. Because I feel that way I do it without guilt or shame or what others might think of it. I don’t compare myself to those who go kite-boarding or surfing when they have spare time. They have different skills and interests.

I could think of very little worse than lugging equipment down to the beach and being out in the water for more than 10 minutes.

Follow your bliss and you will discover your talents, interests and skills. Your inner harmony will become evident and you will experience greater self-appreciation.

Scorpio Moon Sign, Scorpio Traits, Astrological Moon Signs

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If You Are A Scorpio Moon Sign

A scorpio moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Likes emotional drama

– All or nothing

– Afraid of betrayal

– Suspicious

– Loyal

– Protective

– Intuitive

– Passionate

– Fearless

– Intimidating

– Jealous

– Possessive

– Ambitious

– Vulnerable

– Intelligent

– Ambitious

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the scorpio traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

Repeating Words Over And Over In Your Head?

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Why Are You Repeating Words In Your Head?

The mind is complex and it could be repeating words for any number of reasons.  When the mind is doing something over and over, then it is likely one of a number of possible reasons.

What Does This Mean?

In my opinion anything that happens repeatedly within the mind that is outside of your conscious control is an attempt by the ego, the false self, the inner child to regain control of what otherwise appears to it to be a situation it can’t control.

Let me explain further.  In reality there is just unconditional love or awareness.  However it appears to our minds that we are separate from the whole universe and we think we really are a separate object.

It is very scary to be a separate object in a world you did not create.  The part of you that thinks it is separate and a thing called Julie, Dave, Mike or Sarah is petrified, scared beyond belief and very afraid.

It is afraid because it knows it has no idea what the heck is going on in life.  It can’t know but it is all you think you are so it does its best to pretend to be in control.

What You Can Do About It

More important than why the mind is doing this is what you can do about it. If you wish to let this habit go then my advice is learn to just notice when this happens and don’t do any analyzing, judging, trying to stop it or wishing it away.  Just watch it.

To let things go all we need to do is watch them play out. This is because the awareness of watching prevents anything running unconsciously; without your conscious awareness. Think of it like a child. When a child is watched it behaves. When a child is not being watched it will do mischief.

It is exactly the same with our minds. When you simply watch your mind play out its routines and games it will stop, just in the same way a child will stop misbehaving as soon as an adult is watching.

Do this repeatedly until the behaviour stops. It might take 1 week or 8 weeks but all you need to do is notice that it is happening.  Don’t wish it away or tell it off, just let it know you can see it and the habit of repeating words will drop away.  It drops away because the self feels more comforted and safe with ‘the watcher’ activated.  It no longer needs to worry about control as much.

Relationships

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Relationships

Here at Relationships we are concerned with all things necessary for conscious, loving relationships.  We will be primarily focusing on romantic relationships but the principles will be the same for any relationship where you desire to be in harmony with someone else.

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Arjun Ardagh And Gay Hendricks

Conscious Men Manifesto

Arjuna Ardagh and Gay Hendricks have penned A Manifesto for Conscious Men to

(1) apologise to women for actions in the past and present,

(2) usher in a new era of mutual divine worship between men and women.

A manifesto is a public declaration.  Whether or not a general public apology is effective in changing anything, or warranted, this manifesto does serve as a guide to living a balanced, personally responsible life… Read More

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Conscious Men Liberating Women

Here is a video about conscious men coming to the realisation that their power and potential for growth lies in their attitude and ways of relating to women, be they conscious women or not.  Well known authors Gay Hendricks and Kathlyn Hendricks talk with Pamela Zimmer about the potential for women and men… Read More and Watch Here

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Sad Love Stories

Get your tissues out when you read and watch these sad love stories, although they are selected here because they are inspirational love stories also.  The important point from a personal and spiritual growth point of view is to notice some of the necessary conditions of a conscious loving relationship, which is communication without blame,  personal responsibility, commitment, understanding and support.  Read More and Watch Videos Here

Random Acts Of Kindness Ideas

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Random Acts Of Kindness Ideas

Here is a list of random acts of kindness ideas to inspire you.  Pick one a day or one a week and go out specifically to do this act.

Performing a deliberate act of kindness isn’t the same as a random and spontaneous act, but acts of kindness benefit everyone.  The recipient will experience it as random and that is the benefit to all.

WHO   
Animals    Environment    
People     The Divine

HOW   
Actions     Speak/Listen     Thought

WHAT  
Smile       Listen     Gesture
   Eye Contact     Touch     Ask  
  Money     Food   

The above table shows for you a comprehensive list categorising who you can show kindness towards, how you do it with your body/mind and in what way you can be kind.

Animals and the environment are at greater mercy to humans so that is why they are first.  Other people and The Divine are more self-empowered so they are listed last.

In the What row, smile is listed first because it is a moment of connection and recognition, which is the most comforting ‘thing’ you can provide to an other.

Not everything in the What row can be applied to everything in the Who row, but most of it can, for example you can’t make eye contact with the environment.

Random Acts Of Kindness Ideas

1. Smile at someone

A slight heart-felt smile even with a closed mouth does more than an intentional widening of your mouth and showing your teeth, which is not really a smile.  Also, don’t smile and wait for their reaction or hope you see some evidence of the ‘good’ you have done.  That would make your smile a trade, an exchange, not an act of kindness.

2. See someone and let them see that you see them.

This is all about eye contact proper.  Eye contact is NOT about looking at someone’s eyes.  It is about receiving what is behind another person’s eyes and getting the whole experience of them in front of you.  When you are 100% focused on their eyes and are cognizant of the ‘being’ that illuminates and operates the eyes, you have seen them and they feel that you see them.  This makes people feel very good.

3. Make a space for an animal that is theirs alone.

4. Put your hand over someone’s heart space.

This can be combined with proper eye contact (number 2 above).  This is a special kind of hug with someone who you are emotionally intimate.  It requires agreement with the other; you can’t just go up and do this to someone without them expecting it.

Stand facing each other and place your right hand over their heart – centre of chest just below collarbone is perfect.  They do the same to you and then you place your left hand on top of their hand that is on your chest.  Likewise they place their left hand holding on top of your hand that is resting on their chest.

5. Recycle rubbish.

6. Hug someone, with their permission or consent

Random acts of kindness ideas do not have to look a certain way. So long as you are doing something for the 100% benefit of something outside of yourself you are being kind.

Radical Acceptance, Let Go and Let God

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Radical Acceptance Makes You Feel Better

Radical acceptance is a very powerful principle to practice in your life. Great inner peace and contentment comes when you know this way of thinking about life and you may find it a way of boosting self-esteem.

When an event is about to happen or has happened take a moment to first observe the event before you..

  • decide whether they are right or wrong (judge)
  • interpret an event as meaning something about you
    (e.g. he forgot my birthday therefore I am not worthy enough)
  • pretend it has not happened (denial)
  • react to it (anger/rage for example)

Radical acceptance is to first acknowledge how something is in your life.  This doesn’t include your desires, wishes or preferences, it is simply facing the honest truth with impartial self observation and non-judgmental awareness about how things are.

In summary you can practice this and simply let go and let God. This means taking a perspective on life that is more inclusive of reality.  Faith that you are not a separate object in the world needing to be totally in control of everything.

You can know this to be true by acknowledging you didn’t produce what you know to be yourself and you simply need to look at the ocean or stars to see there is a lot you don’t know… and that is fine, in fact encouraged.

You don’t need to control every aspect of your life.  You cannot control other people and events.

If something is going to happen or has happened then instead of acting immediately and unconsciously with one of the four points above, you create some space within which you first of all observe.  Then you have conscious awareness in which to respond and the response will be more empowering and involve greater power than an unconscious reaction.

Psychological Projection, Ego

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Discover Your Psychological Projection

Psychological Projection

What is psychological projection?  Who you think you are; your self-image, ego or id as Sigmund Freud called it is OK with being some things but not OK with being others.  The ego ‘breathes’ by virtue of believing you are an object that is separate from the rest of the world.

In actual fact you are not separate, you are not an object and you are not one particular way.

In order to feel remotely in charge of your life, the ego that you think you are employs a range of strategies and techniques to..

1.  persist the illusion that you are as you think you are

2.  allow you to reduce some of the pain and anxiety

One such strategy is to have you throw a whole lot of assumptions and labels at the people who appear in your awareness.

Pressure at Work

One example that I can give you from first hand experience is feeling that I was coming under pressure from senior people at work.  When I really looked within at the patterns of thoughts I was running and my attitude I could see that I was putting myself under pressure because I had expectations and an aversion to stress.

Yes I needed to work through it but I myself wanted to get it done because;

– I don’t like people waiting for work from me so I rush through it with urgency so I can then feel free again.

– I want people to be happy and impressed with me.

Instead of seeing this clearly and accepting that I myself was creating pressure to get the work done, I projected the source of the pressure onto senior people at work.

Instead of looking deeply within to see the true cause, the self simply finds someone outside of you to attribute the cause.

Assumptions

Next time you are interacting with someone notice how much mind-reading you really do.  What you are doing is assuming you know something about them and about the way they are thinking.  You will be wrong.

Whatever you think is true about their thoughts will be a projection of a thought or attitude that is held by you.

1. Notice you are assuming things about them

2. Be curious about why you are assuming these things

I recall being in a supermarket and a man spilled some peanuts or something similar from the bulk bin dispensers over the floor.  He was obviously embarrassed but he started angrily lecturing me as I walked by saying ‘ everyone makes mistakes, you make mistakes, she makes mistakes…”.

He projected onto me some thought or attitude.  He thought I was thinking he was incompetent or a fool or stupid or something.  In reality I was quite oblivious and couldn’t care and had only compassion and understanding for what had happened.

Once you see that these projections actually originate from within your psyche just notice that it does.  You don’t need to do anything else.

You see the ego cannot play out it’s strategies with the light of your watching on it.  Awareness is transformational.  Bring consciousness to everything you do and everything you feel and everything you think is true about others.  Your ego’s tendency for using psychological projection will drop away leaving you present and calm and loving.

Prosperity Affirmations, Words of Affirmation, Abundance Affirmations, Weight Loss Affirmations, Self-Esteem Affirmations

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Prosperity Affirmations & Others

If you are searching for prosperity affirmations, or affirmations for self-esteem, weight loss, happiness or abundance, then what follows is the easy way to understand what you need to do, and it is much easier than I used to think.

When I attended John Assaraf’s weekend seminar at his beautiful Californian home in 2004 (before he went big into larger audiences, coaching and The Secret) I remember feeling frustrated because what I
wanted to achieve or have kept changing soon after I would decide on my affirmations.

This confused me and annoyed me, and an Australian women at the same seminar said that is what happened to her also.

After all, how do you decide on your affirmations if you don’t even know what you want?

Well…..here is the secret that I finally worked out seven years later, and within two short weeks my life has changed just by understanding and applying this one subtle but necessary shift.

Of course I could tell you how great it is and that there is a secret and bait you along just to get you to buy a product from me, or pay me to tell you.  But I am not going to do that.

A prosperity affirmation, or words of affirmation about abundance, weight loss, happiness or self-esteem are not about affirming what you HAVE!

This is why I would not stick to my affirmations longer then two days!  What is wrong with me I thought.  Why don’t I say my affirmations so I can get the things that I want instead of plodding along or changing my mind?

The answer is simple, although it wasn’t simple at the time over those last seven years, it was annoying.

You see affirmations are not about affirming what you want to have, but don’t have now, they are about how you want to BE!!!!!.

An affirmation should start with the words ‘I am’.  This is the breakthrough that I did not understand.  If you affirm something like ‘I have an annual income of $300,000″ then there is no real substance to it.  An income of $300,000 is not a quality of your essential nature, therefore it is not an affirmation, it is simply a wish.

Now I am not saying that saying ‘I have an annual income of $300,000″ won’t get you there, maybe it will.  But is your heart in it and will you carry on with the affirmations day after day?  If so try it, if not then that is probably why you are reading this page.

Affirmations are statements that affirm what is true about your true, essential nature that you are not in touch with at the moment.  For example your essential nature is happy, wise, wealthy, healthy, abundant, forgiving, loving, calm, peaceful, friendly,…etc.

In other words these are states of Being.  They are not things you have or do they are ways to be.  This is the secret of affirmations.

We have it backwards.  We think that when we have something, or do something we will be something.  But we need to go the other way.  We need to be something first, and then everything that is lined up with state of being will be attracted into our lives.

If you are happy, then the universe will attract to you opportunities for you to be happy.  if you are healthy, then you will findyourself turning away from foods that disagree with you and moving towards more raw fruit and vegetables.  Not because you are using will power to eat better, but because your whole system is lining up with who you have selected to be, which is healthy.

So if you want to weigh less, affirm that you are healthy (I wouldn’t even affirm “I am slim’ for example because your essential nature is not slim, it is healthy).  You want to affirm the things that are essentially true about you, which you are choosing to experience.

This also allows for short snappy affirmations that are easy to repeat over and over like a little tune in your head.  I am happy, I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am wise.

Whether it is a prosperity affirmation, self-esteem affirmation or something else, choose how you want to be, and the universe will conspire on your behalf to arrange the circumstance and opportunities for you to be that.

Practice Of Contemplation, Meditation

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Practice
Of Contemplation

To Empower You

A very powerful technique is the practice of contemplation. Some might call it navel gazing but these people probably don’t understand how or why this discipline can change your life. As a child I remember contemplating why I could see the pen on the table.

Contemplation was too big a word for a ten-year-old but I was just curious why could I make the distinction between the pen and the table.

After considering the matter for a while I knew that the light was different between the two objects and that allowed me to see that one thing was not the other. Pretty simple explanation but nevertheless it sort of says enough.

Do you remember doing such things as a child?

Maybe you didn’t acknowledge it but you doing this was engaging in the practice of contemplation. I am sure at some stage you would have wondered why things are the way they are.

The practice of contemplation is to look into a matter to become aware of the way something is, or the why something is.

We generally hold a thing to be something we can pick up, something tangible, a form that two or more people could come to some agreement about its existence. Consider that a thing – a form – is also a thought, a feeling, an experience, and a way of seeing the world.

These ‘things’ are invisible we might say but still they occur.

These things occur in your experience of life and you can objectify them to a greater or lesser degree. By that I mean you can watch them occurring. You can step back, so to speak, and say ‘I am noticing I experience this’. You would do well to consider anything that you can distinguish as a ‘thing’, ‘object’, ‘form’.

I am calling a thing anything that you notice now which wasn’t there once upon a time and won’t be there in the future. That being the case, why is it there now? If it is not fixed, unchanging and absolute then why is it there now? This is fodder for the practice of contemplation. Why is it? Why is it so? Why is it so the way that it is?

Take shame for example. The next time you feel embarrassed, be curious about what you assume to be true to make you feel embarrassed right then. You can do it later if more appropriate but the important point is to notice that it is there now, or was there and it will go in time. So why is it there now? What do you hold to be true in your idea of yourself and the world that causes the shame? We are too passive in our living. We assume that experiences and feelings come pre-packaged. Combined with the ‘it is just the way I am’ naive mentality we end up living a life of self-ignorance and reaction.

I rarely have negative emotions these days. I rarely feel that inner contraction to a noticeable degree. Sure if there is a confrontation or some issue being worked through I might feel some physical sensation but rarely do I notice any real emotion.

For a couple of years I have engaged in the practice of contemplation. Either on the spot or later that evening contemplating anything that happened that day which I reacted to with a feeling. Even the slightest contraction away from another person would see me wonder what I didn’t like about this situation. If I felt fear I wondered what was I afraid of happening. If I felt down or uninspired by work I would contemplate the way I was thinking about life and work. I could then see the cause and effect relationship between my thoughts and my experience.

Once I could see I was creating this unconsciously I could change it consciously and feel better.   Contemplation is powerful, ancient and used by great spiritual leaders and masters the world over.  It can also be used by you.