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March 2012 - Page 7 of 13 - Self-Help, Spirituality & Self-Esteem

Month: March 2012

Low Self-Esteem Signs, Lack Of Self-Esteem, Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem

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What Are Some

Low Self-Esteem Signs?

How to spot the most common low self-esteem signs and signs of poor self-esteem.

  • Feeling apologetic for your existence
  • Feeling embarrassed to let others see you spend time
    on your-self, e.g. grooming
  • Feeling that you are a burden to others
  • Negative inner dialogue
  • Telling others about your flaws
  • Feeling unable to tell others what you want
  • Unable to have or express an opinion that differs from
    others
  • Unable to simply say ‘thankyou’ when complimented
  • Feeling ashamed to be you
  • Feeling guilty about setting boundaries with others
  • Unable to set boundaries

And some additional low self-esteem signs you may not have thought of …

  • Pretending when around others
  • Criticizing other people or making fun of stereotypes
  • Blaming others for your life situation
  • Wishing that others would change or not be as they are
  • Lack of acceptance of situations and other people
  • Acting in a certain way in an attempt to be seen by
    others as having a certain reputation

These are just a few. Be brutally honest with your-self and really watch your-self as you go about your day and notice the characteristics of a lack of self-esteem that might be in your awareness.

If you spot your-self doing any of the above then please simply witness the occurrence and don’t add judgments such as, ‘I am really bad’ or ‘I hate my-self’. Simply witness like you are a scientist observing your experience.

This is the first step in finding some low self-esteem solutions.

Signs of low self-esteem are an indicator of a lack of understanding and acceptance of your essential nature as a human being.

The good news is that is simple to address this once you know how. It is an ongoing process and each day gets better and better as you finally take control of your life and the signs of poor self-esteem drop away from your experience.

Living In Gratitude, Having An Attitude of Gratitude

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Living in Gratitude Makes

You Feel Better

Living in gratitude for your fate as it appears now is a powerful way to transform your life and shift the perspective that has been holding you back.

Here are my top four ways on how to develop gratitude.

1. Link values

The secret to getting along with yourself and others is to notice that humans will only ever do things because it is important to them on some scale. Knowing this, when you seek to understand what your most important values are you begin to understand your actions and reactions.

Likewise you can seek to understand what is important to someone else and therefore understand where their actions and reactions are coming from. Then notice how what is important to them allows you to do and be what is important to you. This will help your appreciation and thankfulness of others a bit more than you have been.

2. Hold a more sacred/divine perspective

The truth is we each don’t know how the universe works or the secrets to why we are here or how we got here. It is a mystery to us but as we grow in consciousness we get an inkling that things mustn’t be a mistake. In difficult circumstances you can always hold it that this is a test or a right of passage or some exercise in preparing you for something grander, which it will be.

3. See the opportunity to be of service to another

Being of service to others is its own reward. When you look at what work is, it is providing service to others. Having the opportunity and ability to be of service to others is something to appreciate and be grateful for. Out of all the billions of people in the world, or millions in your country or thousands in your area of town, you have the opportunity to help that certain someone. I recall a quote that was powerful for me when I heard it and it is simply ‘Help those who would dream of being where you are now’

4. Use every event to help you discover more about yourself

No matter what the conditions are that you have your attention upon it can be used to help you discover more about yourself. If you are a serious student and am naturally curious about the nature of mind and being, then you can contemplate why you feel or do things the way you do. If you find yourself reacting automatically to situations you can contemplate what you are making the condition mean about you.

Two people could experience the same condition yet their reactions will be different depending on their self-image. Remember the self-image is just a mental construct that has been created withing your imagination. It has no substance in existential reality and so you would do well to leave it behind. To do this you have to be prepared to be everything and anything without resistance or attachment. Then you will find you are living in gratitude.

The secret to personal and spiritual growth and the secret to living in gratitude is to let go of wanting to change the conditions of your life in this moment.

Instead generate gratitude, appreciation and thankfulness for this moment no matter what it brings. If you don’t feel these in a moment have a look at how you are thinking about life and swap to another perspective such as one of the ones above and you will find you have much more control over whether or not you are living in gratitude.

List of Personality Traits, Acceptance or Denial of Traits

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List
Of Personality Traits

To Help You

Below is a list of personality traits and an explanation of why it is important to accept all the possible traits of a human being.

good or evil girl over a white background with an angel on one side and a devil on the other

One exercise that I have found extremely personally empowering is accepting and embracing yourself and your interpretation of yourself in every moment.

Denial of what you are actually experiencing creates suffering and contributes to low self-esteem.

Further below I will tell you how I discovered what I was denying and a simple and quick exercise to reach acceptance.

With each acceptance, old nagging worries and bits of suffering drops away and you are left me more peaceful and with higher self-esteem.

That isn’t saying there isn’t any pain, hurt or discomfort to be experienced in your life. These things are inevitable and a fact of life but suffering is something different to pain.  The distinction we are making is the extra suffering that you experience when your mind tells you ‘this shouldn’t be happening’ or ‘I shouldn’t be like this’.

In 2006 Debbie Ford’s book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers caught my eye on the library shelf.  I read it and didn’t do much with it. Twelve months later I got it out again and this time it meant so much more.  Of course reading is one thing and won’t bring change you have to change something about your experience in order to get change.  There has to a shift in attitude or the way you think about things.

Reading just adds more mind stuff to your long list of things you know.  When it comes to personal growth and overcoming low self-esteem there has to be a shift from within.

It’s into this inner-world you must delve and shine a spotlight.  Shining this light of awareness into the places that haven’t been seen= for a long time.

Shadow-Work

All human beings have displayed every trait, or they do display them regularly or could display them given they found themselves in a certain predicament.  Blame it on the human condition.

If you can stop judging anything you do or are as bad and move to acceptance, you are moving in an empowering direction.

To transform you need to have a shift in attitude from disliking some things in yourself and liking others, to accepting ALL things.

Murderer

So an extreme one to start with is to accept that you are a murderer.  For starters see how quick and strong the denial from your own mind is.  Secondly, consider a situation where you are put in a position where it is either you kill them or they kill you, or they kill your child. Can you accept that you are a murderer now after considering that? Of course it doesn’t make you a murderer in the outside world but still you have to accept that you have that potential trait within your experience and add that to your list of personality traits.

After coming to this realization I somewhat obsessively spent one month trawling through books writing down a list of personality traits.  I wrote down every adjective describing a human being and I worked to own, accept and embrace that each one has been or could be in my experience.

As you will come to realize the best teacher is your experience.  Continue to watch your thoughts and feelings from a place of non-judgmental awareness.  Whenever you have a contracted, closed, irritated or frustrated feeling with another or yourself, contemplate what the trait is. What is the word you would use to describe that person you are reacting to?

Add that to your list of personality traits.

From there I would use a hash of a couple of different techniques, which boiled down to

1. Get into a light relaxed state

2. Imagine myself walking into a lift

3. Turn and face the doors and see a whole lot of buttons

4. See the button that is clearly labeled the trait

5. See and feel myself reach out and touch the button

6. See the doors close and feel the lift go down until the doors open
automatically at a memory of when I displayed the trait

7. Accept the fact of that trait showing up in my experience

8. if I still felt resistance or through the use of a pendulum and ideomotor questioning I found residual denial of that trait I would redo the exercise.

If still no acceptance – which was very rare – I would use EFT (Emotional freedom Technique) for one or two rounds.

I collated a list of personality traits that totaled about 1,000; here are some you might want to try.

Aggressive

Angry

Arrogant

Complainer

Condescending

Controlling

Dependent

Helpless

Intimidating

When you collate a list of personality traits you do the exercise, accept it within, experience more peace and less judgment.

List of Archetypes, Carolyn Myss, Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence, Spiritual

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List
of Archetypes To Help You

A list of archetypes will help you recognize your own particular tendencies and way of being.

Carolyn Myss’ books and products are recommended and so is Carol Pearson along with Jean Shinoda Bolen.

What is an archetype?

It is very important for your self-acceptance and self-esteem to understand this. Carl Jung created the term Collective Unconscious. This refers to the tendencies, predispositions, natural inclinations and way of thinking about your self and the world.

You could say these tendencies are natural and arise within you despite the cultural programming of what is good, acceptable and OK.

For example…

Is the energy and pattern that manifests as wanting power above all else. Usually found most obviously in men and Fathers who rule at home or at work with a strong belief that their way is right. For the person with an activated Zeus pattern there is no room for others to be different or have different interests and motivations than him (typically male but also can appear in women as well).

Differing to Zeus pattern in that the extent of the drive to reach the top is less strong in Apollo.
If Zeus is the King then someone with Apollo active would be a good man/woman to have beside him. Seeking approval and wanting to impress those with higher authority (or at least not let them down) he/she will support and work well in a team and be loyal.

The Hades archetype when active makes the person battle within himself to be true to himself which includes recoiling from the world into his/her reclusive inner subjective world and at the same time exist in the world that openly values and rewards the Zeus’ of this world. This archetype is one of non-conformity to what is splashed all over the televisions, magazines and movies. To Hades it seems a foreign world with all that shallowness running around trying to accumulate external things.

This archetypal pattern is the realm of instinct, emotion and feeling. While a Zeus man wouldn’t acknowledge or honor an emotion quite the opposite is true for our Poseidon activated archetype. This is the pattern of living in touch with what is felt in the body. Zeus lives in the head and plans, strives and seeks external. Poseidon however is the emotional one. Again another archetype who for men is not valued in our Western society. This archetype will find it difficult to fit in and feel fulfilled in traditional roles for men. If pushed to become a lawyer for example by a Zeus father his world will be devoid of color and taste.

This archetype when activated shows up in someone who is very much introverted and withdrawn from the outside world. Retreating to the inner world of their thoughts and creativity they are most comfortable working and creating. Especially if they have found their life’s work it will be difficult for the Hephaestus man or woman to think or do anything else. Social skills and communication don’t come naturally and this person becomes somewhat of a loner unless other archetypes develop. This is the strong, silent type who doesn’t let others know what is going on with them, nor wear their heart on their sleeve.

The Ares archetype is ruled by the here and now spontaneous reaction to feeling and impulse in the body. Ruled by the physical world he/she inhabits, very little thought or planning goes into actions. Spontaneous with the powerful characteristics that we normally associate with masculinity. A warrior and a taste for battle, able to fight and protect but perhaps struggles in other ways.

The activate Hermes archetype shows up as a smooth talking, adventurer of the world, always on the go and is able to connect quickly with new friends. Intuitively and instinctively he knows how to deceive and persuade others to do what he wishes and let them feel it was their idea. He does things his own way and has the confidence and mental agility to approach anything with confidence. Think salesman with the gift of the gab who has a girl in every port but also many male friends because he his also a man’s man.

The active Dionysus archetype shows up in life in varied and extreme ways. It is the pattern, in men especially, of not being interested in the external world of achievement, sports and what society typically values. The Dionysus archetype approaches life from a deeply internal perspective and ordinary events are valued for the experience and not the achievement. For example cooking to experience the smells and tastes and not just to satisfy hunger.

Libra Moon Sign, Libra Traits, Astrological Moon Signs

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If You Are A Libra
Moon Sign

A libra moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Conflict avoidance

– Good co-ordinator

– Gentle

– Peace loving

– Sociable

– Affectionate

– Generous

– Diplomatic

– Charming

– Peacemaker

– Sympathetic

– Dislikes solitude

– Indecisive

– Flexible

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the libra traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

Leo Moon Sign, Leo Traits, Astrological Moon Signs

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If You Are A Leo
Moon Sign

A leo moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Organized

– Entertaining

– Likes being centre of attention

– Direct with requests

– An air of authority

– Dramatic

– Sulky

– Vain

– Snobbish

– Generous

– Egoic

– Stubborn

– Don’t take advice easily

– Materialistic

– Leader

– Proud

– Courageous

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the leo traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

Jason McElwain Basketball Video

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Jason McElwain Basketball Video

This Jason McElwain basketball video is a touching and spine tingling amateur video  of one of those unique moments in sport and life.

Jason, who is autistic, made national news in 2006 when he played four minutes for his high school basketball team, which was the first time he ever made it onto the court.  He scored 20 points and the crowd went wild and stormed onto the court in celebration at the end of the
game.

It is definitely worth watching and causes a reaction deep within many people.

A book has been written and a movie deal has been signed.  Jason
McElwain’s basketball video captured the attention and moved emotion of
a great deal of people all around the world.

Jan Spiller | Astrology For The Soul | North Node

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Jan Spiller – Astrology of North Nodes

Jan Spiller is one of my favorite astrology writers.  She presents a scientific and holistic explanation of astrology.  In Astrology for the Soul she states that many of her colleagues think that she is psychic.

***Scroll down for a video
of Jan Spiller***

Rather than having success with her clients because of some sort of psychic astrology ability Jan Spiller is an advocate of north node astrology.  Many other astrologers are now also becoming aware of its importance for an accurate reading of your astrological natal chart.

Jan Spiller says that when she first looks at a birth chart she notices the position of the north node and the south node.  The south node is always 180 degrees or six signs exactly opposite the south node.

The north node has been a much neglected aspect of astrological readings traditionally in modern days.  The south node shows what abilities we came into this life already highly developed, and the north node shows areas where we need to develop in order to become balanced and happy.

Also, as Jan says in her book Astrology for the Soul when we develop and persistently use the attitudes and techniques aligned with the position of the north node then worldly success will automatically come to us. If we continue to use what is tried and tested with us then we can expect to lose eventually, says Jan Spiller.

Self-Esteem, Self-Help, Spiritual Growth

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Self-Help And Spiritual Growth To

 Achieve Permanent High Self-Esteem

If you are searching the web for self-esteem, self-help or spiritual growth you are probably coming across advice like…

  • focus on your achievements
  • say affirmations
  • be nice to yourself
  • fake it until you make it

These people mean well, but I doubt the great spiritual teachers of the past or influential psychologists of our time would answer a student’s question about self-esteem by instructing them to focus on aspects that reinforce your current experience of yourself.

I want to show you how to do work on yourself that is hugely rewarding, meaningful, simple and transformational. First I want to talk a bit more about how you got in this predicament in the first place… Read More

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Do you sit there and search for answers to help yourself? Do you think you are into self-help but deep down wish or wait for someone to save you, help you or make you better

Do you fantasise about becoming rich, fit, funny or popular and think you will feel better then? Helping yourself is about going inwards to discover what is true.

There is the truth of the way ‘It’ is which is more in the domain of spiritual growth, and then there is your truth that is more in the domain of self-help.

There is the truth of you as a seemingly separate object we call a person – your experience of life; your emotional truth, your perceptions and interpretations and ideas of the way you and the world are.

The Open Secret

And the secret of self-help is to start with being brutally honest about what is true for you in each moment… Read
More

Inspirational Videos, Inspirational Video Clips

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Inspirational
Videos

A selection of free inspirational videos and free video clips that most people find touches them deep within.

The supreme
accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. Arnold Toynbee

It is easy to watch these videos and enjoy them for their entertainment value. As with everything in life I find myself contemplating why is it that these videos move people? What is it about me or about myself as a human being that these sort of videos create a welling up of feeling?

  • Is it because our greatness is awakened; a greatness
    that we haven’t yet remembered consciously?
  • Is it because we each had dreams as a kid which we have
    suppressed and done nothing about?
  • Are these people displaying some greater power working
    through them and it is a wake up for us to see this?  Is this what
    inspiration really is?
  • Is it a knowing inside each of us that we are all part
    of something bigger?

Whether it means something personal to you or whether it is something greater we witness in these videos, I am sure you will enjoy them.

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The
Paul Potts Audition

In 2007 on Britain’s Got Talent a mobile phone salesman auditioned and amazed the judges and audience with his unexpected performance of the beautiful, moving opera Nessun Dorma… Watch It Here

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Jason McElwain Basketball Video

A rare occurence on amateur capturing one of those moments in sport and life with Jason McElwain and his one chance of finally making the team… Watch It Here

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One year after Paul Potts another performance from a young boy 14 year-old Andrew Johnston.. Watch It Here