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March 2012 - Page 2 of 13 - Self-Help, Spirituality & Self-Esteem

Month: March 2012

Toltec Teachings

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The Wisdom Of Toltec Teachings

Toltec teachings are about wisdom.  The wisdom to follow your in-built guidance system instead of the conditioning and influence of society.

Wisdom

You see if you turn within and listen to the small voice or the gut feeling you have then you are on your own in this big world.  If you do take notice of what your gut is guiding you towards then you have faith and confidence that you are being led to the right place at the right time to discover what you need to learn.

The alternative is to be influenced by those to emotions fear and greed.  Have a look at how financial markets operate.  There is very little rationality to them and if you have ever tried to trade on a market you will see how strong these emotions are.

So it is with your life.  In the absence of something larger than you to cling to and use as your guidance system you will flit from one thing to the next, spend up large every weekend on stuff to get that short term buzz that makes you feel alive, and be at the mercy of clever marketers and advertisers.

All you will ever need to know about your life is there already.  That is not saying it all becomes clear and you can see your path but if you view your life as a journey and so long as you follow your gut you will feel fulfilled and meaningful.

Why It Pays To Be Honest

Toltec teachings are also about integrity and being honest, keeping your word and expressing your truth, even if doing so upsets another person.  If you continue to pretend and make up who you are instead of outstretching your arms and saying to the universe, ‘this is who I am right in this moment now, take it or leave it’, then you are splitting yourself and abandoning who you are.

Take Responsibility

The quickest way I have found to transform and grow in consciousness is to take responsibility for everything that you perceive or think.  Anything that happens within your experience of life is your responsibility.  It is difficult to prove that childhood abuse or being a victim of a violent incident is your responsibility but the irony is that if you do think about these things in such a way you then grow past these events and your life improves.

I am not saying you caused these things to happen but rather responsibility implies they took place for some reason, even if you don’t know what the reason was.

The Shadow Effect, Shadow Work, Shadow Projection, Human Shadow, Healing The Shadow

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The Shadow Effect Movie

The Shadow Effect is a movie creation from Debbie Ford released in 2009. Along similar lines to the movie The Secret, the movie has known and lesser know individuals speaking about the shadow.

As with any piece of work; a book, movie, essay or poem, it speaks to you where you are at in your understanding.

For someone new to understanding the shadow it will provide some curiosity and intrigue to know more about this important aspect of our-selves.

It does a great job at explaining how the shadow is formed, why the shadow is formed and the resulting effect the shadow has on our lives as we mature.

With some clear examples of well-known and lesser well-known stories of famous and supposedly respected figures in our society acting out their shadow selves – including Michael Jackson – you get to see just what effect the shadow has on our lives.

The Shadow Effect delves deep enough for an audience new to the work and certainly will provide most people with some new awareness of why they behave the way they do and what they can do about it.

However, for me the movie doesn’t go into any techniques with which to own and embrace the shadow.

Time and time again the viewer is told how the shadow-self behaves, how to spot it in your own experience but throughout the whole movie I was left hanging for some explanation of specific techniques to own the shadow.

This is not so much for my benefit but I wonder how viewers new to this work would leave the movie wondering how to go about this work.

I guess it is an age old marketing technique to let people know they have a problem and then provide the solution. I don’t begrudge Debbie Ford this and I have no idea whether it was planned that way or not, however there were many clips of her running her workshop so perhaps there was a subtle advertisement in there.

Nevertheless I applaud Debbie for making this movie in an attempt to broaden awareness of the shadow.

It is important and life changing work. Wherever you are in your awareness this movie will open up some level of awareness.

If you have even a slight interest in personal responsibility for your experience of yourself and life, this movie The Shadow Effect will help.

Watching the movie a few times combined with reading this website and other resources will have your shadow-self owned and your self-esteem changing quickly.

The Secret Law Of Attraction, Law Of Attraction Tips, Law of Attraction Explained

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The Secret Law Of Attraction

The secret law of attraction is not so much as a secret as it is a universal law that brings to you the opportunities to experience externally what is in alignment with your attitudes and beliefs.

Having the law of attraction explained to you is not going to change anything within your life.  The beauty is that once you accept the law of attraction is as real as the law of gravity you can learn from some law of attraction tips below.

If you don’t accept this law being universal then it will still operate, but you will not be able to see the correlation between your attitudes and your experiences.  You will have no room for growth or to understand who you are.

Stated briefly the secret law of attraction is a phenomena of nature which gives human beings the ability to manifest what they choose.  In order to see this in operation you need to reflect inwards into what beliefs and attitudes you have about yourself, other people and the world.

You will see that you have an idea about the way you are, and the way you interact with the world.

The law of attraction tips here are designed to get you to see that it is possible for you to choose attitudes that serve you better.  Firstly, the best attitudes to receive the good things in life that you have spent your lifetime preferring are…

– radical acceptance that what ever comes your way is not a mistake

– faith that there is such a law of attraction and that you are not separate and alone in a big universe

– expectation that good things will happen to you

Combine this with watching your behaviour and thoughts, and replacing them with ones that are aligned with what you want to experience will bring better and better experiences.

For example, if you currently go to the supermarket and buy food based on what is on special, or what is cheapest, then the attitude you are sending out is “I don’t have enough money to buy what I need’.

I have found the best way to bring good things into my life is to choose how I want to Be and then ‘turn it over’ or consecrate it to a higher power.  This does two things

1. begins attracting to me the opportunities and circumstances that are aligned with how I chose to Be, e.g healthy and wealthy

2. removes any resistance or worry or seeking without finding from my experience.

Number two is important because it is only through non-resistance to what currently is that what you want can come.  In other words, if you continue to feel the absence of what you want, and you continue to focus on the lack then you will continue to experience the lack.

I find this easier and more powerful than trying to decide what I want to have, or what I want to do and then using law of attraction to bring those into my life.  What you want to have or do can change with the seasons or change at the going down of the sun.  We all want to Be a certain way, e.g. healthy, strong, playful, fun loving, wealthy, so…

– focus more and more on those moments that you currently have

– affirm to yourself how you want to Be, e.g. I am happy, I am playful, I am healthy etc

– make images up and play them over and over again imagining you are there now

The secret law of attraction has come to prominence since 2006/07 after the release of the movie called The Secret.  Even if you are not into wealth accumulation or have no great desire to consciously apply it as above know that it will still be operating either unconsciously or you will be subject to the attitudes and beliefs of the masses, in other words the collective.

The Invitation Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Spiritual Poems

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The Invitation Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Excerpts from The Invitation Oriah Mountain Dreamer returned home from a typical social gathering, a party and felt frustrated at the superficial connections and posturing that is socially expected at such events.  She put pen to paper and produced a poem that quickly spread world-wide.

I want to know what you ache for and if you dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

Who you really are as a conscious individual is inspired by the feeling deep within.  It is sacred.  It is given to you to be expressed through you.  When you talk from the eyes up you are just making it up as best you can.

Your head has no idea what you are meant to be doing with your life.  Maybe your heart hasn’t revealed it all either, but it will reveal the next step, even if the next step is ‘be patient and do nothing’.

I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

One way we try and control our lives, which are not controllable, is to decide how we want to feel or should feel.  We don’t get taught how to understand and approach feelings when growing up.  We instead think that distraction and avoidance is a solution and we carry on through adulthood the same way.

To sit and surrender and not wish anything away is healing, forever.  You clear the past and are then free to discover more of your heart’s longing.

let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful to be realistic to remember the limitations of being human.

Ahh the curse of social conditioning.  The unwillingness to feel the ups and downs. The belief that something bad will follow something good.  It doesn’t.  Something bad will follow a misplaced attitude, cockiness, pumping your-self up, taking all the credit but good fortune and joy can be there without fear, shame or guilt.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.

People don’t care half as much about what you do as you think.  Sure they will care about your happiness and well-being to greater or lesser degree, but if you make a change in your life, people won’t care for longer than about 6 hours before something else more important grabs their attention.

Sure there might be short-term disappointment but love is wanting what another wants for themselves.  If they are not supportive they are acting out of their own fears and selfish wishes, even if they convince themselves it is for love.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Some people are designed to thrive in the company of others and to enjoy being around people so don’t think that if you prefer to not be alone there is something wrong.  However there is a difference
between this and disliking yourself and trying to distract yourself.  If you do need to spend time alone, are you OK with it or are you running from all that you are?

Due to copyright restrictions I have only reproduced a small section of the most relevant parts of the poem The Invitation Oriah Mountain Dreamer.  These are the sections most relevant to the theme of this website.

The Importance of Being Honest, Spiritual Growth, Telling The Truth

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The Importance Of Being Honest

The importance of being honest cannot be over-stated. Being grateful is a very powerful spiritual growth attitude but wise people also know being honest is extremely powerful.

It is extraordinary how much we lie. Being honest and displaying honesty is something that we somehow hold as scary.  We lie to others and to ourselves.

We don’t always set out and plan this but if you investigated and watched your-self you will see you hardly ever tell it like it is for you.

Why are you afraid to let others know what is there for you? Why is it scary to admit, even to yourself, the truth of your experience?

Here is a short video of Peter Ralston talking about the importance of being honest.

We hold it that some things are acceptable and some are not. We split the world into two sections and are OK about revealing an idea, emotion, belief or desire that we are fairly confident will be agreed with or acceptable.

However, when it comes to being honest about something that is in our experience that may bring shame or isolation, we quickly make that not OK.

All this to uphold the persona and image you mistakenly believe you are and most importantly keep that image loved or try to ensure you are loved.

You learned to withhold honesty and it carries on today. The importance of being honest is not obvious.  What do you think that does to your sense of self and being OK knowing deep down that you have to lie?

Enlightenment Intensive

Charles Berner created the Enlightenment Intensive, which has been successful and popular since the 1960’s amongst people seeking a direct experience of their true nature.

His technique is a retreat, typically three days where the majority of waking hours are sat opposite another person, communicating to them the honest truth of what is there for you now in this moment.

It is a rare chance to communicate what is there for you, now, in this moment, arising in your awareness. This is powerful.

It is powerful because for one it is a safe and validating experience.  The partner is not to give feedback, no nods or utterances or facial gestures, just plain listening and being present for the one speaking.

John Powell in his book Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am? says ‘Honesty about our emotions, understanding of the roles we adopt to defend the fragile ego, recognition of the games we play with each
other to avoid love – these are the first steps towards a new and richer life.’

The importance of being honest is because through honesty you become more integrated and accepting of yourself. Then, depending on your level of commitment and desire to know the truth, through contemplation
and meditation it can lead you to some profound realizations about the nature of being human.

John Powell again ‘I am afraid to tell you who I am because, if I do, you may not like me.’

Be honest primarily with yourself.

A powerful first step is to resolve to understand yourself and the roles, games and manipulations you employ to keep others liking you.

Even when you do these manipulations, do them with full impartial awareness. Watch yourself do them and just notice. Then at least you are realizing the importance of being honest with your-self.

Don’t put extra guilt and shame on top, just watch like a scientist observing the way your world works.

Bring ever-increasing awareness and honesty to your life and practice being honest.

It all starts with honesty, perhaps even before this is admitting responsibility for everything in your experience of life.

However, being honest and telling the truth as much as possible, no matter the discomfort or how it makes you temporarily feel, will start transforming your life rapidly. Then whenever you are not honest you will remember the importance of being honest.

The Four Agreements Book, Don Miguel Ruiz, Toltec Wisdom

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The Four Agreements Book

The four agreements book comes out of ancient Toltec wisdom that originated in Southern Mexico.

Who Wrote It?

Don Miguel Ruiz was born in 1952 and raised in Mexico amongst a family that had a long line of healers and teachers of Toltec wisdom.  Toltec refers to a collection of people who practiced a way of life and shared common insight into wisdom and knowledge of life in Southern Mexico thousands of years ago.

When Was It Written?

He completed and had the book published in 1997.  In 1987 he began healing practices but began to see that he preferred teaching to healing.  Teaching is more about empowering people to discover themselves what is true, and I fully understand and share his preference in this regard.

I first heard of the book by a fellow retreat attendee in 2005, Napa Valley, California.

What Is The Four Agreements Book About?

  • Most everything that this website is about.  Integrity, honesty, authenticity, personal responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions.
  • Ruiz also writes about noticing just how much we assume is true.  We assume we know how other people feel and think and we are almost always completely wrong.
  • Developing unshakable personal power in the face of other people’s words and behaviour.  Know that other people have a lot of stuff going on and the way they behave towards you is not your responsibility.  You are responsible and empowered about how you behave in return though.  Hint: next time you have a confrontation or situation where you need someone else’s cooperation, quietly say to yourself with your attention on them ‘I love you’ repeatedly.

This technique is amazing and I use it a lot!  In quick time you notice the other person’s attitude change, all because you have changed your energy.  As one of my teachers used to say ‘you must go first’.

  • Either do your best or allow yourself to move onto something where you can do your best.  There are no rules about what you must be good at doing, what you must enjoy or when you should do it.  If you want to do something or it needs to be done and you can then do it.  Otherwise don’t do it.

Across all the teachings and all the ancient wisdom of the world through to modern day psychologists and spiritual teachers, no one says anything new.

Some teachers or some traditions will present and explain the knowledge in a way that resonates with you and helps you transform the way you live.  Your job is to keep seeking and following what comes into your awareness and apply it in your life if it feels right for you.

At the right time the right books, workshops and opportunities will present themselves to you.  The Four Agreements book has been a best seller for many years.  The way you live your life; your attitudes towards yourself and others, is a major determinant of your experience of life.  This book is a great place to start.

The Enlightenment Process

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The Enlightenment Process

That You Are On Now

Wake up to the enlightenment process, which is available to everyone who wants it. 

Many people don’t have any knowing of who they are, they are living inauthentic lives and pretending. 

Is finding instantaneous enlightenment something you desire?  Do you wish you could somehow take who you are; your history and story and particular circumstances and change it?

Then you would be happy and peaceful right?

If you took some time to think and examine this it might strike you as absurd.

Firstly, it is the way it is and secondly why do you have to judge the way it is as wrong or a mistake?

Part of the enlightenment process is being OK with the perfection of this moment.

That isn’t to say it is your first choice preference.  How could this moment always be everyone’s first choice preference?  It can’t.

This enlightenment, or knowing of your essence, may be what you are truly looking for instead of that powerful work position, status, wealth or achievement that you think is the bearer of the contentment and enjoyment of life you seek.

In any given moment you are as you are.  You have strengths and weaknesses, times to shine, times to sit and let others shine.

Simply observe and acknowledge and say yes to what you experience whether you like it or not.

When you look at the judging that goes on you will see comparisons with others.  You will see expectations you place on yourself to live up to someone else’s beauty, charm, wit, intelligence, profession and the list goes on.

So in that moment you have created your own suffering.  You have created your own suffering by not accepting things as they are.

If you are not a fast runner, accept it.  If you are not a beauty, accept that too.  Although in the game of comparisons you will be more beautiful or faster than some.

Say ‘yes I am this’ and ‘yes I am not that’.  So what!

Part of seeing the oneness and the seeing the enlightenment process is to see that everything is as it is and to accept it as ‘not for me to determine this is wrong’.

Resistance alienates you from an awareness of your authentic self and with this you feel alone, separate, anxious and inferior in a big world.

It is easier for you to look outwards and pick people or a situation as the cause of your feelings.  You will point to the fact that you are single and say ah! it is because I don’t have a partner that I feel lonely.

Or you will say in your mind, ‘my husband doesn’t love me enough, which is why I feel lost and alone’.  Or you will pick on your children or your profession or something, anything to blame for your feeling.

This is easier and more normal for the mind to do than look inwards and ask ‘what are my feelings about and how am I creating them or making them worse?’

Really looking inwards and becoming more aware of how you are doing your life experience is the opening to creating some space between you and your world.  This is the meaning of, and the process of enlightenment.

That space is comforting and fulfilling.  The space between the non-judgmental observation of the world and the world is where the enlightenment process is remembered.

You are OK in that space; you have always had that space, you are that space.

You create space by dropping expectations.

You create space by dropping comparisons.

You create space by observing expectations and comparisons and letting it be OK that your mind has created some.

You are not your mind, you are not your thoughts and you are not your self-image.  You have these but you are not them.

You can let them play like children.  You accept you can’t get rid of them and you cease trying.  You watch them play their games while you abide in that space where there is peace and contentment.

You see there is something bigger than ‘you’.  You surrender and give up trying to make yourself happy.

You simply be happy and enlightened now.  This is the enlightenment process and the meaning of instantaneous enlightenment.

Teach Me How To Pray, How To Pray Effectively

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Teach Me How To Pray

How Do I Know What To Pray For?

If you are searching for ‘teach me how to pray’ or ‘how to pray effectively’ the most important point I have found is that asking must be done from the heart.

What Sort Of Things Do I Say?

Pick something you would like to experience and ask that you experience it.  This is a great way to practice being integral, authentic and honest.  It is a perfect opportunity for you to notice how much of a challenge it is to put your truth into words.

You can begin by saying ‘I ask that…’.

The clearer you can get on what it is you are asking the better you will feel about what you are saying.

Things To Watch Out For

  1. Make sure you say what it is you want to experience and not what you don’t want to experience.  For example don’t ask for less anxiety but ask for inner peace instead.
  2. Not letting go, not trusting.  The paradox here is that by asking you imply       that you have at least a little faith that you are connected to something bigger and more expansive yet by not letting go and trusting you imply that you don’t have faith.
  3. Having specific expectations.  It is impossible to know exactly why things happen to us the way they do or why we find some area of life a breeze but are clueless in another.  Therefore, expectations that outcomes should look a certain way or your path to fulfillment and success must look a certain way and holding on to these expectations can hold you back.
  4. Asking for something from your head and not your heart.  Your conscious mind and its ideas are not designed to know what it is you really want.  Ideas in the mind usually come from
    clever marketing and advertising to make you think having certain goods is the way to happiness.  You can ask for possessions but be clear that receiving them won’t make you feel OK for any longer than about 3 days.  Then the mind will set its sights on the next expensive thing, much to the advertisers delight.

I hope this goes someway to helping you if you have been searching for ‘teach me how to pray’ or how to pray effectively.

Taurus Moon Sign, Taurus Traits, Astrological Moon Signs

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If You Are A Taurus Moon Sign

A taurus moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Likes security and routine

– Strong willed

– Conservative

– Steady

– Sociable

– Reliable

– Measured

– Persevere

– Affectionate

– Faithful

– Loyal

– Calming and comforting

– Independent

– Self-reliant

– Diplomatic

– Not spontaneous

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display
every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the taurus traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

Strength Quotes, Integrity Quotes, Honesty Quotes

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Strength Quotes

And Quotes About Honesty

Here is a list of strength quotes to remind you of the strength and power that comes from being true to yourself and honest with others.

There is no reason to be ashamed of what you want or what is important to you.  The world wants your truth.  You are as you are and I hope that these strength quotes remind you that really the only thing worth being in life is integral with your inner guidance and conscience.

  • If you have integrity, nothing else matters.  If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters. Alan Simpson.
  • Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the Truth.  Benjamin Disraeli.
  • A half Truth is a whole lie. Yiddish Proverb.
  • Strength is a matter of a made up mind. John Beecher.
  • As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. Josh Billings.
  • Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde.
  • When in doubt, tell the Truth. Mark Twain.
  • Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.  August Wilson.
  • Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength. Ralph Sockman.
  • With lies you may get ahead in the world, but you can never go back.  Russian proverb.
  • It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more ‘manhood’ to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.  Alex Karras.
  • There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.  French Proverb.
  • The Truth is more important than the facts. Frank Lloyd Wright.
  • Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. Thomas Jefferson.
  • Truth and Honesty is the oldest and most powerful of all of the human values.  Gary King.
  • Respect for the Truth is an acquired taste. Mark Van Doren.
  • Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. Mahatma Gandhi.
  • Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.  Albert Einstein.
  • What you get in your life is not a result of what you want, it is a result of Who You Are. Marlon Smith.
  • To thine own self be true. William Shakespeare.
  • To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves.  Will Durant.