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Self-Help Archives - Page 2 of 10 - Self-Help, Spirituality & Self-Esteem

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Toltec Wisdom, The Four Agreements Book, Teachings, Personal Growth

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Realise Self-Discovery – Toltec Wisdom

What Is Toltec Wisdom About?

It is about transcending the ideas you have about who you are and discovering what is real about you.

It is the wisdom to know how to live in a way that makes a difference.

It is about learning to listen and get your direction not from your mind, but from your heart and gut.

What Is Wrong With Following The Mind?

Does your mind know how you got here?  Your mind is not designed to know anything about you.  The mind is so very useful at many things but knowing what is right for you is not one of them.

We misunderstand what mind is.  Because we rely on it so much day-by-day we give its function too much kudos, we start to believe the only way to know something is through thought.

Our mind willingly assumes the role of master in command.  All the while direction for your life and your purpose is quietly screaming instructions from your torso.

Where Do These Instructions Appear?

They appear in your being.  You have thoughts, you have emotions, you have mind and you also have being.

Your being is that feeling of aliveness that you can turn your attention towards.  Without being/aliveness/life force your body would be a heap on the floor.

Your being is most easily felt in your torso.

Around the heart and down in the gut you feel that is really you.  When you say ‘this is me’ you will accompany this statement with a touch to the chest.  That statement won’t feel accurate unless you touch your heart space.

Why Do We Not Listen?

We identify as the contents of mind so if we think we are the mind of course we will only follow it.

It is easy to justify to ourself and others through rational thought and logic why we do things.  It is a far less acceptable way to society and friends to say I am doing this because I feel it.  Mind is given kudos and feeling is disregarded in our society.

Toltec wisdom is about the teachings which give you the courage and trust to align with your true self and surrender the mind to this greater wisdom we have within.

Why Is This Important For Personal Growth And Spiritual Growth?

  • you become honest and authentic
  • life flows more easily and effortlessly for you
  • you suffer less
  • your life has greater meaning and purpose
  • you have greater inner peace and contentment

Toltec Teachings

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The Wisdom Of Toltec Teachings

Toltec teachings are about wisdom.  The wisdom to follow your in-built guidance system instead of the conditioning and influence of society.

Wisdom

You see if you turn within and listen to the small voice or the gut feeling you have then you are on your own in this big world.  If you do take notice of what your gut is guiding you towards then you have faith and confidence that you are being led to the right place at the right time to discover what you need to learn.

The alternative is to be influenced by those to emotions fear and greed.  Have a look at how financial markets operate.  There is very little rationality to them and if you have ever tried to trade on a market you will see how strong these emotions are.

So it is with your life.  In the absence of something larger than you to cling to and use as your guidance system you will flit from one thing to the next, spend up large every weekend on stuff to get that short term buzz that makes you feel alive, and be at the mercy of clever marketers and advertisers.

All you will ever need to know about your life is there already.  That is not saying it all becomes clear and you can see your path but if you view your life as a journey and so long as you follow your gut you will feel fulfilled and meaningful.

Why It Pays To Be Honest

Toltec teachings are also about integrity and being honest, keeping your word and expressing your truth, even if doing so upsets another person.  If you continue to pretend and make up who you are instead of outstretching your arms and saying to the universe, ‘this is who I am right in this moment now, take it or leave it’, then you are splitting yourself and abandoning who you are.

Take Responsibility

The quickest way I have found to transform and grow in consciousness is to take responsibility for everything that you perceive or think.  Anything that happens within your experience of life is your responsibility.  It is difficult to prove that childhood abuse or being a victim of a violent incident is your responsibility but the irony is that if you do think about these things in such a way you then grow past these events and your life improves.

I am not saying you caused these things to happen but rather responsibility implies they took place for some reason, even if you don’t know what the reason was.

The Secret Law Of Attraction, Law Of Attraction Tips, Law of Attraction Explained

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The Secret Law Of Attraction

The secret law of attraction is not so much as a secret as it is a universal law that brings to you the opportunities to experience externally what is in alignment with your attitudes and beliefs.

Having the law of attraction explained to you is not going to change anything within your life.  The beauty is that once you accept the law of attraction is as real as the law of gravity you can learn from some law of attraction tips below.

If you don’t accept this law being universal then it will still operate, but you will not be able to see the correlation between your attitudes and your experiences.  You will have no room for growth or to understand who you are.

Stated briefly the secret law of attraction is a phenomena of nature which gives human beings the ability to manifest what they choose.  In order to see this in operation you need to reflect inwards into what beliefs and attitudes you have about yourself, other people and the world.

You will see that you have an idea about the way you are, and the way you interact with the world.

The law of attraction tips here are designed to get you to see that it is possible for you to choose attitudes that serve you better.  Firstly, the best attitudes to receive the good things in life that you have spent your lifetime preferring are…

– radical acceptance that what ever comes your way is not a mistake

– faith that there is such a law of attraction and that you are not separate and alone in a big universe

– expectation that good things will happen to you

Combine this with watching your behaviour and thoughts, and replacing them with ones that are aligned with what you want to experience will bring better and better experiences.

For example, if you currently go to the supermarket and buy food based on what is on special, or what is cheapest, then the attitude you are sending out is “I don’t have enough money to buy what I need’.

I have found the best way to bring good things into my life is to choose how I want to Be and then ‘turn it over’ or consecrate it to a higher power.  This does two things

1. begins attracting to me the opportunities and circumstances that are aligned with how I chose to Be, e.g healthy and wealthy

2. removes any resistance or worry or seeking without finding from my experience.

Number two is important because it is only through non-resistance to what currently is that what you want can come.  In other words, if you continue to feel the absence of what you want, and you continue to focus on the lack then you will continue to experience the lack.

I find this easier and more powerful than trying to decide what I want to have, or what I want to do and then using law of attraction to bring those into my life.  What you want to have or do can change with the seasons or change at the going down of the sun.  We all want to Be a certain way, e.g. healthy, strong, playful, fun loving, wealthy, so…

– focus more and more on those moments that you currently have

– affirm to yourself how you want to Be, e.g. I am happy, I am playful, I am healthy etc

– make images up and play them over and over again imagining you are there now

The secret law of attraction has come to prominence since 2006/07 after the release of the movie called The Secret.  Even if you are not into wealth accumulation or have no great desire to consciously apply it as above know that it will still be operating either unconsciously or you will be subject to the attitudes and beliefs of the masses, in other words the collective.

The Importance of Being Honest, Spiritual Growth, Telling The Truth

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The Importance Of Being Honest

The importance of being honest cannot be over-stated. Being grateful is a very powerful spiritual growth attitude but wise people also know being honest is extremely powerful.

It is extraordinary how much we lie. Being honest and displaying honesty is something that we somehow hold as scary.  We lie to others and to ourselves.

We don’t always set out and plan this but if you investigated and watched your-self you will see you hardly ever tell it like it is for you.

Why are you afraid to let others know what is there for you? Why is it scary to admit, even to yourself, the truth of your experience?

Here is a short video of Peter Ralston talking about the importance of being honest.

We hold it that some things are acceptable and some are not. We split the world into two sections and are OK about revealing an idea, emotion, belief or desire that we are fairly confident will be agreed with or acceptable.

However, when it comes to being honest about something that is in our experience that may bring shame or isolation, we quickly make that not OK.

All this to uphold the persona and image you mistakenly believe you are and most importantly keep that image loved or try to ensure you are loved.

You learned to withhold honesty and it carries on today. The importance of being honest is not obvious.  What do you think that does to your sense of self and being OK knowing deep down that you have to lie?

Enlightenment Intensive

Charles Berner created the Enlightenment Intensive, which has been successful and popular since the 1960’s amongst people seeking a direct experience of their true nature.

His technique is a retreat, typically three days where the majority of waking hours are sat opposite another person, communicating to them the honest truth of what is there for you now in this moment.

It is a rare chance to communicate what is there for you, now, in this moment, arising in your awareness. This is powerful.

It is powerful because for one it is a safe and validating experience.  The partner is not to give feedback, no nods or utterances or facial gestures, just plain listening and being present for the one speaking.

John Powell in his book Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am? says ‘Honesty about our emotions, understanding of the roles we adopt to defend the fragile ego, recognition of the games we play with each
other to avoid love – these are the first steps towards a new and richer life.’

The importance of being honest is because through honesty you become more integrated and accepting of yourself. Then, depending on your level of commitment and desire to know the truth, through contemplation
and meditation it can lead you to some profound realizations about the nature of being human.

John Powell again ‘I am afraid to tell you who I am because, if I do, you may not like me.’

Be honest primarily with yourself.

A powerful first step is to resolve to understand yourself and the roles, games and manipulations you employ to keep others liking you.

Even when you do these manipulations, do them with full impartial awareness. Watch yourself do them and just notice. Then at least you are realizing the importance of being honest with your-self.

Don’t put extra guilt and shame on top, just watch like a scientist observing the way your world works.

Bring ever-increasing awareness and honesty to your life and practice being honest.

It all starts with honesty, perhaps even before this is admitting responsibility for everything in your experience of life.

However, being honest and telling the truth as much as possible, no matter the discomfort or how it makes you temporarily feel, will start transforming your life rapidly. Then whenever you are not honest you will remember the importance of being honest.

The Four Agreements Book, Don Miguel Ruiz, Toltec Wisdom

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The Four Agreements Book

The four agreements book comes out of ancient Toltec wisdom that originated in Southern Mexico.

Who Wrote It?

Don Miguel Ruiz was born in 1952 and raised in Mexico amongst a family that had a long line of healers and teachers of Toltec wisdom.  Toltec refers to a collection of people who practiced a way of life and shared common insight into wisdom and knowledge of life in Southern Mexico thousands of years ago.

When Was It Written?

He completed and had the book published in 1997.  In 1987 he began healing practices but began to see that he preferred teaching to healing.  Teaching is more about empowering people to discover themselves what is true, and I fully understand and share his preference in this regard.

I first heard of the book by a fellow retreat attendee in 2005, Napa Valley, California.

What Is The Four Agreements Book About?

  • Most everything that this website is about.  Integrity, honesty, authenticity, personal responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions.
  • Ruiz also writes about noticing just how much we assume is true.  We assume we know how other people feel and think and we are almost always completely wrong.
  • Developing unshakable personal power in the face of other people’s words and behaviour.  Know that other people have a lot of stuff going on and the way they behave towards you is not your responsibility.  You are responsible and empowered about how you behave in return though.  Hint: next time you have a confrontation or situation where you need someone else’s cooperation, quietly say to yourself with your attention on them ‘I love you’ repeatedly.

This technique is amazing and I use it a lot!  In quick time you notice the other person’s attitude change, all because you have changed your energy.  As one of my teachers used to say ‘you must go first’.

  • Either do your best or allow yourself to move onto something where you can do your best.  There are no rules about what you must be good at doing, what you must enjoy or when you should do it.  If you want to do something or it needs to be done and you can then do it.  Otherwise don’t do it.

Across all the teachings and all the ancient wisdom of the world through to modern day psychologists and spiritual teachers, no one says anything new.

Some teachers or some traditions will present and explain the knowledge in a way that resonates with you and helps you transform the way you live.  Your job is to keep seeking and following what comes into your awareness and apply it in your life if it feels right for you.

At the right time the right books, workshops and opportunities will present themselves to you.  The Four Agreements book has been a best seller for many years.  The way you live your life; your attitudes towards yourself and others, is a major determinant of your experience of life.  This book is a great place to start.

Teach Me How To Pray, How To Pray Effectively

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Teach Me How To Pray

How Do I Know What To Pray For?

If you are searching for ‘teach me how to pray’ or ‘how to pray effectively’ the most important point I have found is that asking must be done from the heart.

What Sort Of Things Do I Say?

Pick something you would like to experience and ask that you experience it.  This is a great way to practice being integral, authentic and honest.  It is a perfect opportunity for you to notice how much of a challenge it is to put your truth into words.

You can begin by saying ‘I ask that…’.

The clearer you can get on what it is you are asking the better you will feel about what you are saying.

Things To Watch Out For

  1. Make sure you say what it is you want to experience and not what you don’t want to experience.  For example don’t ask for less anxiety but ask for inner peace instead.
  2. Not letting go, not trusting.  The paradox here is that by asking you imply       that you have at least a little faith that you are connected to something bigger and more expansive yet by not letting go and trusting you imply that you don’t have faith.
  3. Having specific expectations.  It is impossible to know exactly why things happen to us the way they do or why we find some area of life a breeze but are clueless in another.  Therefore, expectations that outcomes should look a certain way or your path to fulfillment and success must look a certain way and holding on to these expectations can hold you back.
  4. Asking for something from your head and not your heart.  Your conscious mind and its ideas are not designed to know what it is you really want.  Ideas in the mind usually come from
    clever marketing and advertising to make you think having certain goods is the way to happiness.  You can ask for possessions but be clear that receiving them won’t make you feel OK for any longer than about 3 days.  Then the mind will set its sights on the next expensive thing, much to the advertisers delight.

I hope this goes someway to helping you if you have been searching for ‘teach me how to pray’ or how to pray effectively.

Taurus Moon Sign, Taurus Traits, Astrological Moon Signs

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If You Are A Taurus Moon Sign

A taurus moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Likes security and routine

– Strong willed

– Conservative

– Steady

– Sociable

– Reliable

– Measured

– Persevere

– Affectionate

– Faithful

– Loyal

– Calming and comforting

– Independent

– Self-reliant

– Diplomatic

– Not spontaneous

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display
every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the taurus traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

Strength Quotes, Integrity Quotes, Honesty Quotes

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Strength Quotes

And Quotes About Honesty

Here is a list of strength quotes to remind you of the strength and power that comes from being true to yourself and honest with others.

There is no reason to be ashamed of what you want or what is important to you.  The world wants your truth.  You are as you are and I hope that these strength quotes remind you that really the only thing worth being in life is integral with your inner guidance and conscience.

  • If you have integrity, nothing else matters.  If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters. Alan Simpson.
  • Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the Truth.  Benjamin Disraeli.
  • A half Truth is a whole lie. Yiddish Proverb.
  • Strength is a matter of a made up mind. John Beecher.
  • As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. Josh Billings.
  • Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde.
  • When in doubt, tell the Truth. Mark Twain.
  • Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.  August Wilson.
  • Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength. Ralph Sockman.
  • With lies you may get ahead in the world, but you can never go back.  Russian proverb.
  • It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more ‘manhood’ to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.  Alex Karras.
  • There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.  French Proverb.
  • The Truth is more important than the facts. Frank Lloyd Wright.
  • Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. Thomas Jefferson.
  • Truth and Honesty is the oldest and most powerful of all of the human values.  Gary King.
  • Respect for the Truth is an acquired taste. Mark Van Doren.
  • Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. Mahatma Gandhi.
  • Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.  Albert Einstein.
  • What you get in your life is not a result of what you want, it is a result of Who You Are. Marlon Smith.
  • To thine own self be true. William Shakespeare.
  • To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves.  Will Durant.

Spiritual Retreats For Women, Healing Retreats, Detox, Yoga, Weight Loss

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Spiritual Retreats For Women

Why Go On A Spiritual Retreat?

Spiritual retreats for women are a chance to rediscover who you really are.  Women are often more prone to forgetting themselves and making other’s more important.  Then one day they realise that they have no idea who they are or what they actually want.

A retreat is a chance to turn your attention back on yourself for a few days.  It is a chance to nourish your soul and remember what it was you dreamed of as a little girl but since forgot.  They can be healing retreats or yoga holidays or even a weight loss retreat or detox retreat.

It could involve learning techniques such as yoga, mediation or breathing exercises.  It could be a combination of any type of activities such as drawing, writing, contemplating or dancing.  You will know before you go what will be involved.

Attention

You know how good it feels when you have attention from other people don’t you?  That is assuming you desire their attention of course.  Everything in nature loves attention and that includes your inner-self receiving YOUR attention.  Your inner self is likely starved of your own attention and kindness.  It is very healing and empowering to nourish your soul in this way and can open up blocked channels of creativity and insight.

Where Are They Held?

Somewhere still, silent and away from the modern world.  Natural, peaceful surroundings is the normal location.  Their will be minimal distractions so you can reconnect to nature and your spiritual self.  The days events will be mostly organised for you, including free time to sit, walk or talk.  Your meals will be prepared so you can turn your attention back on yourself.

Who Else Will Be There?

You are not the first person to go on a retreat, there are many others like you.  Some people will have been on a previous retreat, some people go on retreats often because spiritual growth and self-discovery is their hobby.

Everyone starts somewhere but the beauty is that everyone will be on a similar path and the connection and compassion for each other on a retreat makes it what it is.

What A Retreat Is Not!

It is absolutely not about…

  • being told what to believe
  • being made to wear anything
  • twelve hours a day chanting while staring at a candle (unless you know this in advance)
  • joining up to anything

If any of these things happen or are asked of you then you can be sure it is not the right thing for you.  A spiritual retreat is about self-empowerment and discovering your truth and your spiritual self.  For that to happen you need to be free from restriction and other people’s ideas.

If you are hosting spiritual retreats for women and would like to contact me to advertise or list on this page then please feel free to do so.

Spiritual Fitness Training, Developing Self-Esteem, Finding Inner Strength, Self-Confidence

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Spiritual Fitness Training Empowers You

What Is Spiritual Fitness Training?

If you have ever reached a reasonable level of physical fitness you know that you can do more activity in your life without feeling overwhelmed and beyond your threshold.

Likewise with spiritual fitness, when you have trained your attitude and way of thinking and relating to the world, you are able to stay calm, relaxed and at inner peace no matter what may come.

Is It About Doing Weird Practices?

No not at all.  This is about finding inner strength.  It is about realising that within you there is the ability to be calm and forgiving and loving and compassionate no matter what the circumstances.

It is within you already but it is obscured by the way you think of yourself and the world.

What Are The Benefits?

Apart from developing self-esteem and feeling that you are connected and meaningful it is about rediscovering the truth of who you really are.  The way you feel about yourself and life, and how effective you are at living a meaningful life is determined by they way you think about yourself and life.

How Do I Develop It?

  • Be honest.  Stop pretending.  When you speak let the breath that starts from your abdomen arise up through your centre and push the words out.  The breath carries the words like a surfer on a wave, except the words and the breath are one.  When you do this you are speaking from your truth, your gut, your experience.
  • Realise that you are not in control and trust that it is OK.  Have faith, let go of trying to understand because you never will.  Turn it all over to a higher power.
  • Pray, or at least ask for what you feel in your gut.  Discern between what you imagine you want and what you actually want.  The ego will tell you what to want based on greed and fear, your gut will tell you what you really want deeply to feel fulfilled.

When Should I Do This?

This is about being real and therefore being empowered to live a life without overwhelm.  It is to be done as much as you can.  It is about living your life this way.  The alternative is to stay stuck feeling alone and isolated and unworthy.  

Spiritual fitness training is really about living aligned with the truth of your true nature.  Integrity, truth and trust.