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March 2012 - Page 4 of 13 - Self-Help, Spirituality & Self-Esteem

Month: March 2012

Self-Love, Loving

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How To Have Self-Love

What do we mean when we talk of self-love? At some level of awareness we could be talking about feeling worthy, liking being you, or feeling there is nothing to change.

On another level of awareness it could mean really stopping to notice that you have never challenged (asked/sought an answer) the fact that you are doing this thing called living but you have no knowing of what that is.

Self-love for me is experiencing ever increasing amounts of wonder and joy at my own existence.

By really stopping and noticing that I exist and challenging the mind to stay with me it brings amazement, wonder, self-love and a humbleness that is hard to replicate in the world of things.

I mean really realize like you realize you have never actually noticed before. 

A letting go happens that allows you to not care so much about this identity and self image you have been carrying around. The image will still be there to an extent, but the identification with the image as ‘who you are’ will loosen.

As you sit there, see if your mind will allow you to consider what would be different if you were born to a different family.

I believe Buddha said ‘that which changes isn’t real and that which is real doesn’t change’. Here he is referring to dropping and letting go believing you are the collection of memories and personality traits and noticing what would be the same even if you had different memories and experiences.

All you will ever need is ‘you’. There is enough to learn and discover and entertain you simply by becoming more and more curious and aware and in awe of ‘you’.

As you discover the truth you will notice more and more that your awareness of your life flows inside outwards rather than outside inwards.

I distinctly remember the first time I owned the whole world. I was walking to work in 2006 and I realized that the whole world was within. Everything I was aware of was happening in my awareness. For there to be something outside of me, I had to be there also.

It was an amazing experience.

To know the trees along the road and the boats on the water out from St Heliers, Auckland as I walked down the hill to work were all ‘within me’ was liberating and empowering.  I distinctly remembering then the new overwhelming feelings of awe, wonder amazement and self-love.

What lead up to this was a lot of contemplation and work but what opened the door was realizing that anything I feel comes from within me.

That is to say anything I feel is my responsibility.  Outside conditions or occurrences do not come prepackaged with feelings. 

Anything I experience is created and experienced within me.  I had not long earlier really understood and seen this in my own experience of life.

You can continue to operate in your old way and survive but if you really want to live a meaningful life, go for the truth. How do you do that? Find out the truth of who and what you are and the way ‘It’ is.

Watch and see yourself do this thing called living and experience self-love, not just as an idea or a function of positive thinking, but as an experience.

Self-Help, Personal Growth Tools

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Self-Help And Personal Growth Tools

Do you sit there and search for answers to help yourself? Do you think you are into self-help but deep down wish or wait for someone to save you, help you or make you better?

Do you fantasise about becoming rich, fit, funny or popular and think you will feel better then?

Helping yourself is about going inwards to discover what is true.

There is the truth of the way ‘It’ is which is more in the domain of spirituality, and then there is your truth that is more in the domain of self-help.

There is the truth of you as a seemingly separate object we call a person – your experience of life; your emotional truth, your perceptions and interpretations and ideas of the way you and the world are.

The Open Secret

And the secret of self-help is to start with being brutally honest about what is true for you in each moment.

If you are angry or sad or worried then let it be OK that you are having this experience. All experiences are valid, there are no right or wrong experiences. 

If there is something there in your experience then it is there, end of story.

Human beings get into trouble and cause suffering for themselves by denial and resistance.  Denial of what is there.  How silly when you think about it.  Denying what is actually there, resisting what is actually there.

When you become aware and more conscious you will see just how often you feel the impulse to lie.

You lie to yourself and this is usually not overly obvious to you. You act incongruent with your feelings and you think it is the proper thing to do.

Sometimes it is obvious and you make it OK for you to lie and perform. 

You often pretend.  You know you pretend.  You put on a performance to fit in a crowd or maintain a self-image.  Then afterward you head home and feel deep down that there must be something wrong with you if you have to pretend.

You have made yourself not OK enough because you had to pretend.

Your experience in this moment is valid! It is just as valid as the most popular person in the room. It is as valid as the most powerful person.

Your experience; your feelings and your thoughts are valid. This may not be the first choice preferred experience and given a choice you might choose something else, but the ‘part’ of you that would choose another experience is not going about this in the best way.

Have you ever stopped to notice there is a ‘you-part’ that wants another ‘you-part’ to go away or change?

For you to want to change there must be a split going on. One part of you is judging the other part as not good enough.

So What Is Self-Help?

Self-help for me is first of all becoming honest. Always be as congruent in your whole being as you can. Now, there are certain social and cultural norms and manners that dictate that we should not always speak our mind and pretend to be polite and courteous and put on a brave face. This is OK but I am really talking about YOUR emotional orientation to your feelings and experience.

As you sit there feeling ungrateful or ignored or abandoned are you OK with feeling these as a valid human experience?  Or, as you pretend to be gracious and confident are you silently stacking guilt and shame on top of the feelings of ungratefulness?

Why not just be honest in your emotional orientation to these feelings and say internally, ‘I am having these feelings and it is a valid experience?’

Maybe tomorrow, or if you are aware in that moment, you can get some insight into why those feelings are there and work to understand and release them.  However, the main point is to first be completely honest and acknowledge that what is there for you is there and is valid.

Remove denial and resistance from your tool box and learn to live freely. Part of this is the awareness to be responsible for your experience. I don’t suggest you chose these feelings and I don’t suggest you have done something wrong (which creates guilt) or you are something fundamentally bad (which creates shame) but you do need to recognise the truth.

The truth is that this experience in this moment is happening in your awareness. It is your experience, don’t blame others. It is happening now inside you!

Someone could call me and you ugly. I will not register any emotion. You might be devastated and sulk for two days. Whose responsibility is it for your devastation? You won’t have chosen to feel devastated but nevertheless that experience is there.  And it has all happened in your awareness and experience.

The hearing of the words, the interpretation and the emotional reaction has all happened inside you and so that is your responsibility. The external condition or occurrence did not come pre-packaged with these feelings you are experiencing.  How could they, they have not even changed my emotional state?

What remains is for you to notice your experience, take responsibility for feeling this way and don’t pass judgment over whether it is right or wrong to feel this way.

For one, the feeling will pass in a much shorter time frame and two, you will be more aware of why you reacted this way. Then, through many self-help techniques you can begin to remove the reason you reacted this way.

Your feelings are your teachers to help you learn about yourself. Your feelings will direct you to higher consciousness and inner peace if you accept and listen to them.  When this happens you welcome feelings.

Feelings are welcome because I use them to self-help me. I clear away more false ideas I have about the world and me.

As you remove the false ideas, simply be here now and welcome your experience, your inner peace grows, your self-esteem grows, you become more effective and happier and you return to feeling part of the world
and not a part separate in the world.

This is self-help for me.

Related Pages…

The Secret Law Of Attraction

The secret law of attraction is not so much as a secret as it is a universal law that brings to you the opportunities to experience externally what is in alignment with your attitudes and beliefs.

Having the law of attraction explained to you is not going to change anything within your life.  The beauty is that once you accept the law of attraction is as real as the law of gravity… Read More

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Prosperity Affirmations & Others

If you are searching for prosperity affirmations, or affirmations for self-esteem, weight loss, happiness or abundance, then what follows is the easy way to understand what you need to do, and it is much easier than I used to think.

When I attended John Assaraf’s weekend seminar at his beautiful Californian home in 2004 (before he went big into larger audiences, coaching and The Secret) I remember feeling frustrated because what I
wanted to achieve or have kept … Read More

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Self-Appreciation

Self-appreciation is easily achieved with a shift in the way you think of life. We each have our own unique talents and aptitudes. Some people’s talents are seen on the world stage, many more are only ever seen by one or two.  Here are four ways to see things differently in order to begin the
upward cycle of self-appreciation… Read More

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Developing Self-Awareness

Developing self-awareness is the key to self-help and overcoming poor self-esteem.  Any spiritual or self-help book worth reading will probably only make only two points important… Read More

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Your Body’s Dantien

Have you heard of dantien? How would you like to be more grounded and centred, even as you are
walking around and going about your day?  If you have meditated or practiced relaxation you will be familiar with the inner peace and calmness you experience after a session… Read More

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Gratitude Prayer

A gratitude prayer doesn’t have to be recited lines of verbal sounds coming out your mouth once a day.
A more powerful and authentic way to ‘ask’ is by feeling gratitude now… Read More

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Self-Empowerment

Here are four ways to self-empowerment. The best and easiest personal self-help exercises that I use every day and have helped transform my life are below.  None of these exercises are a quick fix forever. You become a product… Read More

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Acts Of Randon Kindness

Acts of random kindness by you have an amazing power to transform how you feel and to help low self-esteem.  You might wonder, ‘how does an action so self-less have the power to make YOU, the one doing the kindness, feel good’?  It seems counter-intuitive doesn’t it?  After all you are not receiving the kindness from others but… Read More

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Fear Public Speaking

If you fear public speaking, sure things may get better after you have done a number of speeches but if you want to actually transform yourself and your life so that the excessive nerves don’t come here are some tips… Read More

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Living In Gratitude

Living in gratitude for your fate as it appears now is a powerful way to transform your life and shift the perspective that has been holding you back…Read Four Ways Here

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How To Be Humble

Asking how to be humble is a good question.  However the answer is in the question.  In order to be humble, just be humble.  Perhaps a more relevant question is what is humbleness or what is the definition of humble.  Humble is acknowledging that anything you have or are is not really down to ‘you’… Read More

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EFT Technique

The EFT technique is a simple self-help routine anyone can do at home and is having results where nothing else has helped.  It stands for Emotional Freedom Technique.  It is also casually known as Tapping, due to the action of tapping on several acupressure points on your body… Read More

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Authentic Happiness

If you are lost, life is hopeless, pointless and without authentic happiness then this website is for you. Or maybe you just want more inner peace and contentment or a realization of the truth?

I know how you might be feeling. Do you have a bookshelf full of self-help materials? Self esteem low? Have an idea about your spirituality? Maybe you are searching for the umpteenth time… Read More

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Do You Care What People Think?

Firstly, you care what people think because you have a made-up identity.  This identity is not absolute it is just a whole lot of ideas about who you are and what image you like to portray to the world.  This is the secret to letting go of placing so much importance on what others think of you… Read More

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Mind

Mind is one of those things we assume we know what we are talking about, but we never stop to admit to ourselves we have no idea what it is.

What is it? Where is it? Why should you care?.. Read More

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Personal Responsibility For Your Life

Personal responsibility for your life and what you experience is critical.  It is one of life’s paradoxes that we think if we don’t take responsibility, and blame others instead, we will feel better or suffer less… Read More

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Radical Acceptance

Radical acceptance is a very powerful self-help principle to practice in your
life. Great inner peace and contentment comes when you know this way of thinking about life and you may find it a way of boosting self-esteem… Read More

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Self Hatred, Self Loathing, Ways To Improve Self Esteem

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How To Deal With Self Hatred

Self-hatred you may have noticed can’t be improved by anything you have.  For example many people who seem to have an easy time and have a reasonable life still feel empty and shallow.  The mind tells them it must be because they are not rich enough, or because they don’t have a big screen TV.

So it is the same with having a nice body, or a boy/girlfriend, or a house, or a job. These things can help you feel like you belong and feel you are similar to everyone else who is normal, but the feeling will fade quickly, within days usually.

To the unaware mind this can be confusing and frustrating because it perpetuates the feeling that something seriously is wrong with you, you can never fill this void within.

What You Can Do

Eating whole foods in regular light meals and cutting out/down the four addictions alcohol, sugar, cigarettes and caffeine will help you feel better.  People really misunderstand just how closely linked food/diet is with feeling/mood.

Be clear in your mind that nothing you can posses or perceive has the power to make you experience self-appreciation, self-love or is a way to improve your self-esteem permanently.

You might be able to hide behind the achievements in your life, but eventually you will realise feeling OK is not about what you achieve it is about knowing more and more about what is really going on on this planet; where you fit in and why you are here with all the rest of us playing your part.

Completely forget that success equals getting a house or boy/girlfriend or having a certain career.  This is all rubbish and is ONLY what society tells us is success.  From the outside looking in I don’t have any outward signs of success yet I love my life. Why? Because at age 33 I met a man who showed me that the only thing worth doing in life is getting below all the programming from my parents and schooling and pursuing the truth about what life really is.

Why Are Some People Spiritual?

Have not all the masters said some version of ‘the truth shall set you free’? They were right, of course.  Free from what?  Well self-hatred and self loathing and worldly worries for one.

The only way to feel better and in my opinion the main way to improve self-esteem is to come to know who you are in reality. To transcend the illusion of the ego and day-by-day get back to who you were born to be and not who western society turned you into, which is a scared, separate, isolated ego which can only experience self-hatred.

All of what I say probably has not made you feel any better nor maybe even provided a solution but it is always possible it might awaken some deep truth within you and you can move away from self hatred.  Maybe you see that you have been taught a whole lot of junk about what is real and what is valuable in life.

By the way doing this work doesn’t mean you can’t have a house or boy/girlfriend.  Don’t think you have to sacrifice worldly pleasures, you can have both. Concentrate on self-discovery and the rest will come easily and naturally at the right time for you.

You are not broken but just suffering from being a long way from living the life you were designed to live.  You are not to blame for this it happens to all of us to various degrees.  Do not blame anyone but do take responsibility to get back to knowing who you really are and your life will turn around remarkably.

Self-Esteem, Overcoming, Signs Of Low, Quotes, Poems

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How To Build Your Self-Esteem Permanently

If you are searching the web for self-esteem you are probably coming across activities and advice like…

  • focus on your achievements
  • say your affirmations
  • be nice to yourself
  • fake it until you make it

These people mean well, but I doubt the great spiritual teachers of the past or influential psychologists of our time would answer a student’s question about self-esteem by instructing them to focus on aspects that reinforce your current experience of yourself.

I want to educate you on a simple way to work on your life that is hugely rewarding, meaningful, simple and transformational.

First I want to talk a bit more about how you got in this predicament in the first place.

Paradox

There is a paradox that to think you have to do something to change yourself means you are missing something; are not quite complete as the unique, one-of-a-kind human being that you are.

These things that others suggest you do to feel better about yourself may cause a temporary change in your feelings; you might feel more positive, more motivated or less critical of yourself for a few minutes or a couple of hours or days depending on what is going on in your life, but has your self-esteem really changed by thinking more positively or doing some activity?  Has your experience of yourself changed in who or what you think you are?

Probably not!

As soon as YOU are back in relationship with your experience of life and another person, then YOU are going to be the same that you have always been.

The same old defects and stuff you wished weren’t there will still be there.

The same negative talk and harsh judgment of yourself. The same denials of certain traits and denials of natural and normal human characteristics.

There needs to be a change in the way you approach the world and yourself. There needs to be a change in your awareness of what is really going on.

Changing the idea of who you are is really just like rearranging the food on your plate and thinking you have something different.

Trying to block out all the bad traits you have is not going to work because you have those traits.

Ignoring them doesn’t make them not exist.

Anything you don’t freely admit to will hurt you. It will make you suffer until you can become aware of yourself as having that trait, being brutally honest and accepting that trait in your experience of life.

Understand that all human beings at some point in their lives will display a trait or could potentially display a trait. This is crucial to how you like yourself.

Good and Bad

In our little idea of who we are and the self-image we have, we cut the world into two.

We then agree to accept that we have the good half and we deny and spend our lives desperately trying to avoid anyone, including ourselves, noticing that we actually do have the ‘bad’ traits as well. Of course you are likely not aware that your self-image (ego) does this denial, but somewhere in your past, most likely to ensure being looked after and loved, you subconsciously learned that there were certain traits that were not acceptable.

Note: I notice the common way of teaching children recently is to say in a wise, forceful voice ‘that is not acceptable’ as the child does something child-like

When something is not acceptable you shove that trait or the potential for that trait to the deep, dark recesses of your experience, hopefully never to be seen again.

The problem arises because you are whole and complete and everyone in the world will at some point experience being rude, lazy, selfish, mean, greedy… I will talk more about why you experience everything elsewhere, but for now just take it has truth that you are everything.

When you shoved these traits down the back they did not disappear. How could they, there is no real you with which to decide not to be something?

Your self-image is an idea of who you are and who you think you should be. It does a great job at convincing you and others that are none-the-wiser that you are a certain way absolutely. Maybe you like to come across a certain way – kind, nice, generous for example – or tough and strong maybe, but that is not an absolute reality, it is not a Truth of the way things really are in existence.

They Are Still There

These traits you decided you never wanted to be there never went away.

As you go about your life they will always be there and they will always show up in your interpretation of how you are sooner or later. So what do you think that does to your thoughts of yourself when these ‘bad’ unacceptable traits keep coming up in your awareness?

The solution is shadow work.

Shadow work begins with an understanding of the reality that you are not really, really, really a certain, fixed, absolute way. You are whole, alive, conscious and will experience every interpretation on the scale from bad to good at some stage.

There are times you will be uglier than some but more beautiful than others. There will be times when you will seem rude and other times you will seem polite.

Other times you will be intelligent compared to someone else yet another time someone smarter will be in your awareness and interpretation.

Maybe you just are stupid compared to the majority of the population. So what? If that is how it is in your experience, so be it.

I really am talking about your brutal honesty and acceptance in your own awareness of these traits.

You could have shoved ‘rude’ to the back because you were always told to be good and polite.

This rudeness, until it is accepted as being an OK part of you, will continue to cause problems for you whenever it shows up. It will show up in some way in YOUR universe. It will show up in some part of your experience of life and you will feel terrible when it does. The trait won’t stop showing up in your life as a problem until it is allowed to be there without resistance.

It Is OK To Be Rude

It is OK to be rude. In certain circumstances it is appropriate to behave in a way that someone else might judge you as rude. Maybe to get what you want or to stand up for yourself you will come across as rude.

It is only an interpretation.

My self-esteem went through the roof when I had this realisation and worked to go through over 1,000 traits and accept that I had displayed them or could display them all.

No exceptions. Brutal honesty and making it perfectly OK that as a human being I am imperfect and just trying to get along. I do the best with my level of awareness in each moment. In relation to others (compared to others) who have different values and desires, you will behave, say or do something that could be called ‘bad’.

Accept that.

I even have a little giggle to myself when I interpret myself as ‘bad’ and remind myself that I am just doing my best and certainly don’t need extra judgment. When you do this, that judge will quieten down in your head and let you simply be who you are.

Apart from this your effectiveness and ability to interact with the world and others will sky rocket also. You will no longer have little parts of your psyche trying to show up and sabotaging you. These parts of your psyche will simply rest and leave you to create your world.

As you own and accept everything about yourself you will love yourself so much that it hurts sometimes! And how can you have low self-esteem when you love yourself?

Impossible.

Related Pages Below..

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Definition Of Self-Esteem

You likely have an idea of a definition of self-esteem. A self-esteem definition could be anything describing feeling bad about yourself, or good. One of the main causes of feeling not good enough in my experience is a lack of self-acceptance. It is not related to your achievements or what you do or have in the external world… Read More

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Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

Transforming your experience of yourself is the key to overcoming low self esteem.  In 2007 two years after I had my first and most profound enlightenment experience I realised how I could learn more about my conditioning and programming.

Unfortunately you and everyone else grew up with less than ideal influences and messages.  You are subject to the messages from your parents and teachers about what is right and wrong.  However Mum and Dad or whoever took care of you have their own unique hurt and fear and this shapes the messages you receive.

Your self-image and your ideas of what is acceptable and expected is formed from these messages and your own unique interpretations of what you experience… Read More

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Signs Of Low Self-Esteem

How to spot the most common signs.

  • Feeling apologetic for your existence
  • Feeling embarrassed to let others see you spend time on your-self, e.g. grooming
  • Feeling that you are a burden to others… Read More

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11 Ways To Improve Self-Esteem

Things to change about the way you think of yourself and others.  Start to undo the ego and beliefs and
instead go for what is true about life and you!…Read More

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Improving Your Self-Esteem

Learn why nothing you own or posses or achieve has the power to permanently change the way you feel about yourself… Read More

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Help Low Self-Esteem

How and why your mind is responsible for low self esteem and what you can do about it starting today…Read
More

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Enhancing Self-Esteem

The approach to raising self esteem that I promote is all about aligning yourself with spiritual principles.  It does not require you to believe a religion or follow a guru, it just asks you to notice
what makes human beings feel good… Read More

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Raise Your Self-Esteem

It is up to you how much work you wish to do in transforming your experience of life.  Put it this way, Buddha sat alone under a tree for six years and I bet he wasn’t lonely or felt unworthy. If you are to have high self esteem you will need to have an experience of what a self actually is… Read More

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Boosting Self-Esteem

You can have short-term boosts to your self esteem but these are ego based and disappear as quickly as they come.  Or you can go for permanent, long-term transformation that brings naturally high self
esteem… Read More

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The Process of Raising Self-Esteem

Maybe reading these will open up a new life of possibility for you.  Some might think it sounds scary but if you are serious about discovering…Read More

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Self-Esteem Poems

The most relevant self-esteem poems to this website and shadow work. These poems all express the importance of self-acceptance. Ellen’s is wise and I also love Rumi’s. Although they are not strictly obviously self-esteem poems, they are about complete self-acceptance and that is the crux of self-esteem help… Read More

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Self-Esteem Quotes

Below is a selection of self-esteem quotes spoken from a place of clear awareness describing a main cause of low self-esteem.

People think it is a virtue to disown parts of themselves of which they disapprove. All they succeed in doing is to keep themselves stuck with those parts forever. They have cut off the only means of growth or transformation. Nataniel Branden.. Read More

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Self-Esteem Quotes, Self-Motivation Tips

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Self-Esteem Quotes

Below is a selection of self-esteem quotes spoken from a place of clear awareness describing a main cause of low self-esteem.

People think it is a virtue to disown parts of themselves of which they disapprove. All they succeed in doing is to keep themselves stuck with those parts forever. They have cut off the only means of growth or transformation. Nataniel Branden

The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely. Carl Gustav Jung

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. Mark Twain

Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them. Albert Einstein.

For real self esteem is not derived from the great things you’ve done, the things you won. The mark you’ve made – but an appreciation of yourself for what you are. Maxwell Max

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself. Mark Twain.

If we really love ourselves, everything in our life works. Louise L. Hay

Some self esteem quotes pointing to what an experience of high self-esteem is like…

Those who are truly comfortable with themselves and their achievements take pleasure in being who they are, they do not need to tell the world about it. Nathaniel Branden

I am an artist of my own creation. I like myself. Sondra Ray

Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. Louise L. Hay

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Ralph Waldo Emerson

To be authentic, you have to be everything that you are, omitting nothing. Within everyone there is light/shadow, good/evil, love/hate. Deepak Chopra

Self-Esteem Poems, Self-Esteem Help

admin Self-Esteem, Spiritual Poems , , 0 Comment

Self-Esteem Poems

The most relevant self-esteem poems to this website and shadow work. These poems all express the importance of self-acceptance. Ellen’s below is wise and I also love Rumi’s. Although they are not strictly obviously self-esteem poems, they are about complete self-acceptance and that is the crux of self-esteem help.

Be Yourself

by Ellen Bailey

Why would you want to be someone else

When you could be better

by being yourself

Why pretend to be someone you are not

When you have something they haven’t got

Cheating yourself of the life you have to live

Deprives others of that only which you can give

You have much more to offer by being just you

Than walking around in someone else’s shoes

Trying to live the life of another is a mistake

It is a masquerade; nothing more than a fake

Be yourself and let your qualities show through

Others will love you more for being just you

Remember that God loves you just as you are

To Him you are already a bright shining star

Family and friends will love you more too

If you spent time practicing just being you

How to Improve Yourself

Anonymous

Let each man learn to know himself;

To gain that knowledge let him labor

To improve those failings in himself

Which he condemns so in his neighbor.

How lenient our own faults we view,

And conscience’s voice adeptly smother;

Yet, oh, how harshly we review

The self-same failings in another!

And if you meet an erring one

Whose deeds are blamable and thoughtless,

Consider, ere you cast the stone,

If you yourself are pure and faultless.

Oh, list to that small voice within,

Whose whisperings oft make men confounded,

And trumpet not another’s sin;

You’d blush deep if your own were sounded.

And in self judgment if you find

Your deeds to others are superior,

To you has Providence been kind,

As you should be to those inferior.

Example sheds a genial ray

Of light which men are apt to borrow;

So first improve yourself today

And then improve your friends tomorrow.

I Love Being Me

by Gemma Hayton

I can’t run the fastest

I can’t swim the sea

I can’t type the quickest

but I love being me

I can’t kick a ball

or even climb a tree

I can’t roll in the grass

but I still love being me

You see, this is my life

as others would see

they don’t know what it’s like

to really be me

So next time I’m about

rolling down the street

don’t think of me disabled

but someone cool to meet

I have lots I can teach you

I have loads I can share

you will never gain my wisdom

if you just point and stare

So maybe I can’t run the fastest

maybe I can’t kick a ball

but I wouldn’t change being me

not for you, not at all

The Guest House

Rumi

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

Remember the more completely you accept your experience the higher your self-esteem. Poems can speak directly to us and put words to an experience that often prose cannot.

I hope you enjoyed and got some benefit from these self-esteem poems. If you have, or come across, any additional self-esteem poems that you feel express profoundly the work of accepting and owning our complete experience, please contact me.

Self-Empowerment, Self-Esteem Empowerment, Empowerment Exercises

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Four Ways To Self-Empowerment

Here are four ways to self-empowerment. The best and easiest personal empowerment exercises that I use every day and have helped transform my life are below.

None of these exercises are a quick fix forever. You become a product of your habits over time. If you introduce and practice a new habit such as the ones below, even for five seconds, you will experience personal self-empowerment.

1. Be In Your Body

About two finger-widths below your belly button is the area that could be thought of as your physical and energy centre.  It is a place that martial artists and masters of eastern practices such as Tai Chi and Qigong are aware of and they regard as a place of power.  Referred to as dantien, you could also imagine
your breath starts and finishes here.  When you have your awareness on this internal centre you feel more relaxed, calm, present and powerful…try it, practice it, meditate on it.

2. Be Directly Conscious Of Your True Nature

Beyond the experience of your thoughts and emotions there is something more real.  To be directly conscious of your true nature helps you to de-identify with your thoughts and emotions.  You are not your emotions you have emotions.  You are not your thoughts you have thoughts.  Practice watching with awareness.

3. Be 100% Responsible

You can live two ways; either live as if everything you experience is your responsibility, or pick and choose which experiences you want to take responsibility for.

4. Always Reach For A Slightly Better Feeling

Feelings can be thought of as a spectrum rather than each ones as separate entities.  At one end of the spectrum you have deep depression and suicidal thoughts.  At the other end you have peace and contentment.  Because feelings exist on a spectrum you can always do something or think something that moves you a bit closer to the next feeling higher up on the spectrum.  You can read extensively about this in the book Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

Raising Self Esteem, Overcoming Low Self Esteem, Ways To Improve Self Esteem, Raise Your Self Esteem, Boosting Self Esteem

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The Process of Raising Self-Esteem

The process of raising self esteem is simple but not necessarily easy.  Simple in the fact that all it requires is a transformation in consciousness from denial and fear to acceptance and love.

It is not necessarily easy because the belief that you are a separate, completely independent thing is strong and convincing.

One way of raising self esteem is to take your belief that you are a thing and pump up the beliefs about what that thing is like.  In short you change your self image for a better one.

You can attempt to focus on something that you believe to be true about yourself that makes you feel a bit more worthy and acceptable.  By the way, in doing this the parts that you don’t like about yourself don’t actually disappear they just get ignored.

This might seem like a result however it will likely cause greater problems for you at a later date in some way.

Just as if you are repairing or cleaning something and you try and do just enough so that what is immediately visible looks OK, deep down you feel a nagging that you haven’t quite done a proper job.  You know it will have to be faced at a later date.  Or you feel a false sense of achievement that you have got a way with it.  It is like you feel clever for taking the easy way out and achieving your task.

How does it feel when you know you have really done a thorough job and you know your repair will last?  Just like rust in a car or a hole in a sock the section needs to be completely rebuilt and reintegrated into the whole.

So it is with the ego and the Self.  The ego is who and what you think you are.  You might think you are kind and polite and this and that.  Or you might think you are stupid and pathetic and mean and cruel.  Whatever self image you have is your ego.

Your ego is just your idea and becomes the focus of your life.  It is what you then interpret life’s events through.

Just as the rust in the car would attract the eye and the attention and make you miss seeing the car as a whole so to we end up focusing on the self image and miss seeing and feeling the whole experience.  By the whole experience I mean the experience of being part of the whole, connected to all that there is, divine, Self.

The process of raising self esteem is to bit by bit transform your awareness from the ego to the whole.  When you meditate the ego takes a back seat.  When you sit across from another person and feel their energy and really get what they are communicating the ego takes a back seat.  There are many many ways of accomplishing this task of deidentifying with the ego and reidentifying with the whole.

Why does this raise your self esteem?  Because genuine self esteem is a product of your awareness, acceptance and love of the truth.  It is not something you build up and pump up, it is something that comes because you see how futile it is to continue trying to be something or not trying to be something.

Some people try to always be right, some people try never to be rude.  Some people try and be cool, other people try and never be wrong.  This is all ego and genuine self-esteem can never come
through rearranging, pumping up or resisting the ego.

Sagittarius Moon Sign, Sagittarius Traits, Astrological Moon Signs

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If You Are A Sagittarius
Moon Sign

A sagittarius moon sign will have primarily the following traits. Your self-esteem and personal and spiritual growth comes primarily from you acceptance and letting go of any emotional reaction to being labeled something.

Have a look at the list and notice anything which you resist, i.e. it doesn’t fit in with your self-image or you wish it wasn’t part of you.

– Sharp mind

– Quick thinking

– Spontaneous

– Loves freedom

– Optimistic

– Kind

– Gentle

– Likes using intellect

– Love outdoors

– Lacking diplomacy

– Good natured

– Kind

– Honest

– Quick temper

– Quick to forgive

– Overwhelming desire for movement

– Adaptable

Then go through all the other astrological moon signs and work your way through those also.  We all posses the ability to display every trait so your sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem is dependent on you embracing all the sagittarius traits from this moon sign list, and all the other 11 as well.

Self-Appreciation

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How You Build Self-Appreciation

Self-appreciation is easily achieved with a shift in the way you think of life. We each have our own unique talents and aptitudes. Some people’s talents are seen on the world stage, many more are only ever seen by one or two.

Here are four ways to see things differently in order to begin the upward cycle of self-appreciation.

1. Drop the comparison with other people’s skills, talents and gifts.

Often we sort of assume by default that everyone is born with same potential and same internal resources and talents. This is obviously not so.

If ever you have done some reading on astrology you will quickly accept that everybody has their own particular make-up of skills, interests and talents. The key is to find out what yours are and use them in a committed way.

2. Discover, own, embrace and express your particular, unique talents.

Some people are natural leaders, some are natural support people, some are great with kids, some bake and their food naturally tastes amazing, some people have deep compassion and caring. The above is just a small sample of the gifts each person could naturally possess. Start a journey to find out exactly what your unique gifts are, then use them, love them and don’t deny the world their expression. Your self-appreciation will then have an opportunity to be felt.

3. Think about yourself as completing some part of the whole.

As I said above some people naturally end up as world leaders, some as world entertainers, yet others as kings and queens. Likewise some people have a natural affinity and talent at making small bracelets that children love and yet others just naturally know how to make people feel comforted, while others write in a way that words flow and leap from the page.

Do you think it is a mistake that you make amazing baking that people love, but others are doing more worthwhile things? What I mean by that is be true to you. If you love baking and feel fulfilled by it then do it and love that talent within. To make this whole world go around we need people of all talents and aptitudes. The secret is to discover what yours are, use them, nourish these talents and use them to help others is some way. This will begin the upward self-appreciation cycle and get you closer to your true self.

4. Have a look at where you naturally spend your time, energy and money.

In order to discover your particular, unique talents have a look at where you already spend your spare time. Some people might say have a look at what you daydream about as an indicator of what your interests might be. This is misleading in my opinion because the imagination and dreaming could be coming from a place of a fantasy or it will be a thought that something would be nice for you to do.

What is more real is what you actually do now. I spend spare time reading and learning about ancient wisdom and related topics. I go to bookstores and libraries if I have a few spare hours and I feel at home and fulfilled doing that. Because I feel that way I do it without guilt or shame or what others might think of it. I don’t compare myself to those who go kite-boarding or surfing when they have spare time. They have different skills and interests.

I could think of very little worse than lugging equipment down to the beach and being out in the water for more than 10 minutes.

Follow your bliss and you will discover your talents, interests and skills. Your inner harmony will become evident and you will experience greater self-appreciation.